PILES, HOW DO YOU CURE THEM?

Archie · Post by **Archie** » Tue 15 Jul, 2003 3:35 pm

Fair comment 21, just not as funny as the thought of Steve, legs akimbo (isn't he an african choreographer) in Robs stirrupy thing and me stroppin a sharp(ish) egde onto my jacknife.

Twenty One · Post by **Twenty One** » Tue 15 Jul, 2003 3:45 pm

Archie I can see the funny side of having the Duke of Argylls.I can remember one time I'm sure you have heard it,when a young soldier went sick with piles and the MO gave him suppositories for them,when a few weeks later the MO asked the soldier how his piles were doing,he says they are just as bad as ever, those things you gave me, you might as well stick them up your a**e.He was swollowing them!!!!

Archie · Post by **Archie** » Tue 15 Jul, 2003 3:48 pm

That's nearly as good as Stickies one about giving the lad with Acne some Deep Heat to run into them

Artist · Post by **Artist** » Tue 15 Jul, 2003 4:34 pm

Thankyou kind sirs for all the offers and condolences ref the Grapes.

The family will cheer when I go in. Find out friday 18th June when the dreaded removal will take place. Just hope it's not going to effect the Anglesey weekend. I want to meet up with the various loony tunes who I have had the "Pleasure?" of chatting to over the last year.

Archie...........nough said........BOG offt!!!!!!!!

Aye Artist

Mike · Post by **Mike** » Tue 15 Jul, 2003 7:29 pm

Artist... If you are let down by our wonderfull NHS appointments system or even if you are double booked with a circimssion..... Not to worry...we will have a poker in the fire, and Prez will do the honors, I will even throw a bottle of Pussers to take away the pain.................................I,m sure Prez would appreciate the thought as he firks the red hot end into....................too much info!............Ohoooo my eyes are watering at the thought. See you on Friday week

Aye

Artist · Post by **Artist** » Tue 15 Jul, 2003 7:34 pm

Mike

Go away you nasty horrid person. Ifen I see the Prez messing about around the Barbi you won't see me for the dust!

I can swim you know. (hit the mainland and just keep going)

Aye Artist

Pilgrim Norway · Post by **Pilgrim Norway** » Sat 19 Jul, 2003 8:03 pm

Remember Artist - you can still use a wheelchair after the op....

Stand on the footrest and hang on to the back of the chair with your teeth and clenched fists...

Eat only water melon - remove seeds....

It's only pain - it gets better.

'Aye
Alan

Artist · Post by **Artist** » Sat 19 Jul, 2003 9:11 pm

Pilgrim

Go and fall in a Fjord!

Everyone else
3 kin months! Where is the justice? Contracted the buggers cos of Royal, (avoid cold places) as long as me arse points down I am going to be last when it come to tea and biccys.

The Doc was a right (excuse pun) smartarse! I'll get me coat and Germoliods. The new spray is frankly shiioote!! Just like neat Pussers kin Rum!

Artist

Andy O'Pray · Post by **Andy O'Pray** » Sat 19 Jul, 2003 9:21 pm

Artist,

Can we officially call you slack a#@e now?

Aye - Andy.

Artist · Post by **Artist** » Sat 19 Jul, 2003 9:40 pm

Andy

No! And Again NO!

I'm still sh*ting sideways for Britain you expat sod! Slack does not come into it.

Embarrassing the Gruppenfueruer with crys of Owww! Come out you sod! Ieaaeee Blitish Commando! Thank f*ck for that!!!! Whilst on her birthday bash at the local Bistro (which is very, very compact ) proves that I am not slack in any part of me bits! We left quite soon afterwards with friends looking at me with knew eyes. (I had had a fair few prior to the "Big eats" I aint perect for goodness sake!)

Artist

bootneck · Post by **bootneck** » Sun 20 Jul, 2003 5:30 pm

Steve, you certainly know who your friends are, I`ll bring an inner tube to anglesey, a truck one be alright?

Pilgrim Norway · Post by **Pilgrim Norway** » Sun 20 Jul, 2003 7:16 pm

Glug glug glug ......

Steve - you posted this thread as follows and on the date given :-

Posted: Sat Dec 14, 2002 11:31 am Post subject: PILES, HOW DO YOU CURE THEM?

You mean that you still have 'em ?

A slight flick of the wrist and they're gorn.... Well - Perhaps doc Parry's wrist and not yours...... Note the little blue one below :-

:grab:

Wully's initial advice is solid ( sorry ) ... i.e. liquid parafin - swallowed -
not rubbed on and lit -

Ah well - back to the briny

'Aye
Alan

Artist · Post by **Artist** » Mon 21 Jul, 2003 8:32 pm

Hope the Fjord is deep and cold!

Being a wee bit squeamish about some bugger messin with me nether regions, have been putting off the visit to the docs.

Done now. But have to wait 3 months for Operation. Ointments doing a sterling job as the "chalfonts" seem to have gone into hibernation just for now.

Have named them "Arnie" as they keep coming back. (I'll be back. As the Austrian he man is wont to say)

Artist

Home | About Us | Articles | Forums | Shop | Reviews | Search | Contact Us | Advertise With Us

Our Journey Comes to an End! Please read our latest Announcement: https://www.militaryforums.co.uk/military-forums-closure.php

Share This Page: