Help! Advice! Something, please!
My boyfriend is a C/Sgt and bearing in mind the current situation out there we know he is going to be off sometime soon. This will be the first time he has gone away on operational duty since weve been together and Im really just asking for advice and support on how to cope with the fact that he could be gone for 6 or 7 months.
Ive never been through this before, I dont come from a military family and I dont live in a military town so I feel a bit 'out there on my own'. I live in Bedfordshire (as you can see) and we are used to only seeing each other at weekends when he comes up to visit, which does make it a fraction easier for me I suppose as we havent been living in each others pockets.
Im not even sure what I want to know as this is a whole new experience for me.
Anyone out there who doesnt think Im bonkers, I would appreciate any thing you could offer me!
Thanks
Jules
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First timer..........
First timer..........
Why? Because I can!
I found coping with the stresses and strains of detachments was easier when I knew I had somebody to go home to. My wife and most others will tell you about learning independence, coping with the usual domestic disasters as a matter of course, not really your problem yet though.
On the bright side, if he is going camel jock bashing then prepare a shopping list of all those chintzy touristy things you would buy in Morrocco and get him to bring them home; they may be a bit battered after the bazaar has been shelled but at least he can then get the usual shell casing ashtrays etc.
Use this forum to clear your head, I really wish we had this sort of communication facility 30 years ago. My brat goes to sea and chats most nights to her husband by mobile, last time she took mine, not realising what happens to billing when abroad!
On the bright side, if he is going camel jock bashing then prepare a shopping list of all those chintzy touristy things you would buy in Morrocco and get him to bring them home; they may be a bit battered after the bazaar has been shelled but at least he can then get the usual shell casing ashtrays etc.
Use this forum to clear your head, I really wish we had this sort of communication facility 30 years ago. My brat goes to sea and chats most nights to her husband by mobile, last time she took mine, not realising what happens to billing when abroad!
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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El Presidente
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El Presidente
Eeek! Blimey I bet that was a bill and a half!
I suppose its difficult to give anyone advice about this sort of thing, its almost a 'just get on with it' kinda thing I suppose, but I know Im going to find it tough not having anyone empathetic that I can speak to. Although now I have discovered this site I think it might help to a degree.
My sister went out with a squaddie briefly last year and he got posted to Kosovo. My Nans advice to her (with her having been a WWII soldiers wife) was to 'just get on with it because thats what we had to do and we couldnt get in touch with them every five minutes like you can!' !! Hardly what she wanted to hear and definitely not what I want to have to spend 6 months listening to!
So advice other than that please!
Thanks
Jules
I suppose its difficult to give anyone advice about this sort of thing, its almost a 'just get on with it' kinda thing I suppose, but I know Im going to find it tough not having anyone empathetic that I can speak to. Although now I have discovered this site I think it might help to a degree.
My sister went out with a squaddie briefly last year and he got posted to Kosovo. My Nans advice to her (with her having been a WWII soldiers wife) was to 'just get on with it because thats what we had to do and we couldnt get in touch with them every five minutes like you can!' !! Hardly what she wanted to hear and definitely not what I want to have to spend 6 months listening to!
So advice other than that please!
Thanks
Jules
Why? Because I can!
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harry hackedoff
- Member
- Posts: 14415
- Joined: Tue 19 Feb, 2002 12:00 am
First timer
Hi Jules B
If you go to the 40Cdo Link there is a families forum that
was set up mainly for this situation,Im sure you will be made
most wellcome,
Or you could try http://www.rnrmfa.com
Aye
John_D
If you go to the 40Cdo Link there is a families forum that
was set up mainly for this situation,Im sure you will be made
most wellcome,
Or you could try http://www.rnrmfa.com
Aye
John_D
Last edited by John_D on Wed 25 Sep, 2002 5:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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flo
- Guest
first timer
Hi Jules,
Dont panic there are hundreds of us in the same boat, I actually run the families club at 40 commando and girlfriends are just as important as wives. Whilst i can appreciate what your gran says about getting on with it, im afraid i have to agree. BUT do what we all do in these circumstances keep busy. If you email me on fionaxkeys@hotmail.com leave your address or phone number and I will gladly be a shoulder to cry on if you find it hard to cope. If im not around then there are many girls down here who comunicate by email and I can put a piece in our monthly newsletter asking for a buddy for you. Its a great way to let out frustrations and if you dont ask then we cant help. Im glad some of the lads have discovered the families link and it would be nice to see some coments going into the forum pages as we dont have a guestbook up and running yet. But keep your chin up If we support our husbands/partners/boyfriends and ourselves then it is peace of mind for them when they are operational because they now that there loved ones left at home are being looked after and they in turn can concentrate on the task to hand like they trained for.
Dont panic there are hundreds of us in the same boat, I actually run the families club at 40 commando and girlfriends are just as important as wives. Whilst i can appreciate what your gran says about getting on with it, im afraid i have to agree. BUT do what we all do in these circumstances keep busy. If you email me on fionaxkeys@hotmail.com leave your address or phone number and I will gladly be a shoulder to cry on if you find it hard to cope. If im not around then there are many girls down here who comunicate by email and I can put a piece in our monthly newsletter asking for a buddy for you. Its a great way to let out frustrations and if you dont ask then we cant help. Im glad some of the lads have discovered the families link and it would be nice to see some coments going into the forum pages as we dont have a guestbook up and running yet. But keep your chin up If we support our husbands/partners/boyfriends and ourselves then it is peace of mind for them when they are operational because they now that there loved ones left at home are being looked after and they in turn can concentrate on the task to hand like they trained for.
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flo
- Guest
first timer
Jules here is the families club website address just click on and it should take you straight there. Keep smiling.
http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/40cdormfamiliesclub
http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/40cdormfamiliesclub
Thanks Loz
I guess it is a help to have people 'outside' it all around me, as for 'getting on with it' it is really all I can do isnt it?
I have sniggered myself stupid reading some of the stuff on here! Some of it's almost unbelievable! But then knowing how they all are it is believable???!!!!! Well I know what I mean!
I'd best do the old 'Chin up old girl' thing.......................
Jules
I guess it is a help to have people 'outside' it all around me, as for 'getting on with it' it is really all I can do isnt it?
I have sniggered myself stupid reading some of the stuff on here! Some of it's almost unbelievable! But then knowing how they all are it is believable???!!!!! Well I know what I mean!
I'd best do the old 'Chin up old girl' thing.......................
Jules
Why? Because I can!
Owdun, there's an M in Muff. 
Sorry Loz and Jules, but it had to be said, it begged to be said, I'm a mug for stating the obvious...................... who cares who wins.
Sorry Loz and Jules, but it had to be said, it begged to be said, I'm a mug for stating the obvious...................... who cares who wins.You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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El Presidente
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El Presidente
Enuf of the Muff Stuff you dirty old men!
Hey Lads and Lassies, In days of old when ships did more that 6 month comissions and we (her good self and I) were separated by oceans and years, we used to use a cassette recorder to send messages to each other, I used to tape a couple of minutes each day telling herseld what I'd done, what I'd seen ect. and then fired it off to Blighty on arrival at the next port, where I would recieve a tape from her. Obviously the dates and time were out of sinc but we both had great time recording them and recieving them and it was all so easy, all you need is somewhere quiet to make the recording.
Now today with mini cams etc thing should be even better, how about a cam message with the old man talking to you from infront of Table mountain, or even (those of you rich buggers) a lap top with a web cam, hec I think I'll join up again, I can just see me giving herseld a message with Cape Horn as a backdrop.... any one for a greasy chop and a slimey egg!
you'r never alone with a Royal
Aye
Hey Lads and Lassies, In days of old when ships did more that 6 month comissions and we (her good self and I) were separated by oceans and years, we used to use a cassette recorder to send messages to each other, I used to tape a couple of minutes each day telling herseld what I'd done, what I'd seen ect. and then fired it off to Blighty on arrival at the next port, where I would recieve a tape from her. Obviously the dates and time were out of sinc but we both had great time recording them and recieving them and it was all so easy, all you need is somewhere quiet to make the recording.
Now today with mini cams etc thing should be even better, how about a cam message with the old man talking to you from infront of Table mountain, or even (those of you rich buggers) a lap top with a web cam, hec I think I'll join up again, I can just see me giving herseld a message with Cape Horn as a backdrop.... any one for a greasy chop and a slimey egg!
you'r never alone with a Royal
Aye
The Honourable Lord Mike of Loch Borralan
.........................Because I AM Worth IT..xxxx.......Never Mistake Motion for Action
.........................Because I AM Worth IT..xxxx.......Never Mistake Motion for Action
Jules, although not in your situation i have had some experience of it because my sister is in the same boat and i agree with Loz, she keeps herself busy with the day to day stuff like looking after the young un and running the house! She doesnt stay in Arbroath so like yourself is a bit out on a limb. Loz we too that year had an extra xmas dinner when he came home in Feb! Chrimbo tree the lot!!! Just another excuse for us "civvies" to get bladdered again!! It was brills.
Anyway Jules if i can be of any help gimme a shout!
Anyway Jules if i can be of any help gimme a shout!
Ah, bladders, now there I can help! Just let me get my Marigolds from the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!.
Must rush Silent Witness is on soon, that's my next move, you get fewer complaints.
Must rush Silent Witness is on soon, that's my next move, you get fewer complaints.
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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El Presidente
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El Presidente
