Practical jokes

[andy_s]

Anybody played any good practical jokes on anyone?
My fav's are to wrap my work mates lunch up in about 2 inches of brown tape then stick it to the ceiling, or the time my boss thought our shop was haunted because i kept on locking the toilet door from the outside (it had an inside lock-like most toilets ) i did it with great difficulty by pushing two coat hangers through the key hole and flipping the lock across-he never worked out how it happened.
Thats what working in retail does to you, gentlemen the gauntlet has been set...........

[Sticky Blue]

Saw an oppo come back from weekend with 6 bricks in the bottom of his bergan from his dad. The night before Jonah had superglued his dad's alarm clocks to the celing whilst he was asleep and set them for 3.30 AM!

[rambo]

One time my mate had used all the hot water in the shower. So i gathered together all his shoes and trainners, i then filled them with water and put them in the freezer.

[Mr Mojo Risin]

LOL Love the one with the clocks - gotta try that !

My worst was putting habanero/abanero (not sure of the spelling here, but it dont matter, its DAMN hot) onto my mates hands and under his nose when he passed out on at a bbq. When he woke up he rubbed his eyes, breathed in the pepper, sneezed and promptly began p1ss water outta his eyes. the best bit was when he took a p1ss - some of the pepper got in his jap-eye.

I got severe beatings that night

[Tab]

We had a lad that used to sleep in the buff, one night during the summer we carried him asleep in his bed out of the barracks and about 2 miles down the road and left asleep outside WRAC barrack in Aldershot. We had a word with guard not to wake him which they didn't. He was woken by a Woman Colonel be driving into the Barracks, she stopped the car and got out and screamed at him and the first thing he did was to jump out of bed and salute, well that was a great hit I can tell you. She then told him to pick up his bed and eff off, well at half past eight the the whole Brigade was on the Square and the chap came hobbling down the road bare foot and swearing every time he stood on a sharp bit of grit on the road. He had the sheet wound round him like a Toga and holding his bed over his head and the whole place burst out into a fit of the giggles even the RSM and officers were doubled up at this sight to such an extent nothing was ever said to him.

[Sticky Blue]

Cling film on the bog... make sure the light bulbs are not functioning or do it in the small hours. Say no more.

Get a your oppos cup/mug and fill it with talc. Glue it to his locker door. He'll come in ready to go to scran and rip it off his locker door, talc everywhere.

Talc on a sheet of paper, slide it under the door of your oppo's grot and blast it with air or a hair dryer. Repeat previous step until talc is all gone. Sit back and wait... He will walk into a winter wonderland with no footprints anywhere and will wonder how the hell it was done!

[anglo-saxon]

One lad was being a bit too independant in basic training. Wouldn't tow the line in the team and wouldn't share. He had his own iron and wouldn't share that either. One night one of the lads pissed in his iron. True, he only ironed his kit the next night for a few seconds before he realized what had happened, but he got the message. Could have been bleach!

My mate, Ray Vincent, took a dislike to someone once and laid a turd in the guy's respirator. "Gas, gas, gas!"

Just before the freedom of the city parade, someone put Cherry Blossom polish in a lad's Kiwi tin. Now that's just nasty!

When my dad was in the Merchant Navy in the 50's, all the toilets were attached to one long pipe sloping down towards the hull. He'd go in the inside cubicle right after breakfast, then light a paper boat and send it down the tube. The flame would be surpressed until it got to one of the toilet openings, then WOOF!

Some sergeants in the Britsh Columbia Regiment once dismantled an Iltis jeep overnight, reassembling it in the great room of the Officers' Mess before dawn (it ran, too!).

[lew]

Take one condom, one sashay of salad cream, put salad cream inside condom and shake until salad cream is at the end, so it looks right...

Take prepared condom into work and put it in someone’s sandwich wait for them yo bite into it, I promise you they'll throw up

Another lunch gag, again take someone’s sandwich and put string around the filling, make sure you disguise it well... when they go to eat the sandwich it will fall all down their cloths

Another condom joke, put it into the petrol tank of someone’s car that you don’t like, when the car starts it will be sucked into the engine and cut the fuel supply cutting the engine out, it will then slowly float back into the petrol tank, this process will repeat its self for about 3-4 months until the jonny disloves

A simple one but an easy one, take a disposable camera out with you one night, get a friend lashed, get them into an interesting situation with a fat slag, tie them up strip them etc take the picture... then come Monday have them blown up and put all over their work place or college


lew

[Ploggers]

Foam fire extinguishers are made up of two parts; an inner cylinder and the outer body.

The idea is that there are two chemicals, one dissolved in water in each part of the extinguisher. When they are mixed they cause a chemical reaction which produces a shit load of foam. Hence they had to be held upside down to allow the solutions to mix and get the reaction.

I managed to get hold of a box of the powder that makes up these solutions, they come in a two part sealed package - a bit like a boil-in -the-bag meal.

Late that evening there was a section attack on the officers mess toilets. One part in the toilet bowl, one part in the cistern.

Next morning as the officers went for their constitutionals...............
flushhhhh "WHAT THE F***"

[mercury]

A long time ago ( all right , in the late 80's ) the cleaners in the H blocks used to leave these blue blocks of bog cleaner in the pissers, when they used to get wet they turned the water blue

Now at the time the showers were quiet archaic and had really big heads on them

Big enough for the toilet block

Say no more, there were quite a few smurfs around the camp at that time

[simonm]

A mate of mine is in the REME and whilst on PT some of his mates decided in would be a good idea to put a used thong in his water bottle, as you can imagine when he found it he was less than impressed.

[fodd]

wen i was in foundation one of my mates from fiji got a little drunk so we tied him to his bed put shaving foam and camoflage cream all over him! then carried his bed down some stairs and and put him in the showers! well funny!

[Si Capon]

Mate of mine got turned in to sick bay at stonehouse with dysentery after a trip abroad

After a few days, he was well enough to see us and gave us £10 to get him some fruit.

We came back with a tenners worth of Coconuts & Lemons

[Tab]

Another prank we used to play on our mates when we were in Aldershot, if he had picked up a bird that you fancied and was in a pub you would find a couple of scruffy kids and give them a couple bob to go into the pub and walk up to the chap and tell him that mother is expecting him home for dinner. She told them to wait for him and if he was with another woman they should not be put off if he said he did not know them. It worked every time.

[Dolly Gray]

Dhala - Christmas 63

1 drunkard crashed out in tent, pants were taken around ankles and a tube (small white tube) of pussers carnation milk sqeezed between cheeks pants pulled up again

Me mega impressed at reaction of drunk when waking up and sticking hands down pants.

It took six of us to hold him down. Even threatened to go to doc and have us all for rape!

Dolly