WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

[Artist]

the folowing are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. these are genuine excerpts from the forms:

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins; child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the farther of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue, where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ arisen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

07.I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CD's?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about the night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have stayed unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of baked beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Artist

[John_D]

As long as nobody comes foreward and say I was conceved on my
Grandfathers setee above the union jack bar " The Gut" Im Happy

Aye

John_D

[Aldo]

I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ arisen again.

How did you know my mother wrote that?! I'm sad to say the results from the pope were negative however I am still awaiting the doctors reports on the stigmata

[jonboy]

My concern goes out for those poor children.

[barrybudden]

Yes I would like to second what Johnboy has said.