found this n thought it was funny
FIRE SERVICE TO COVER FOR ARMY IN IRAQ
15th Nov, 2003
In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the
government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim measure,
carry out military operations in Iraq.
The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job
has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next
Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime. It is
understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires,
rubbing their hands together and waving at
passing vehicles who honk their horns at them.
Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea
and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front
line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they
will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into
surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.
Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service strike of
last year proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited training and
unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained, well-equipped
and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently and without loss
of life.
When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might make
an easy target for enemy fire, Mr. Blair said, "Never mind, we've got too
many firemen as it is... er, is that camera running?"
Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war against
Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on the siren?"
