Shot Down

[Ste Preece]

Its amazing how your memory lapses after some nights on the lash. I remember walking down an isle in Boots Chemist in Guz when a blonde stunner came up to me. No joking she was stunning.

'Hi Steve,' she smiled.

My eyes lit up when I saw her. She knew me, but I was thinking, who the ferk is this little beauty.

'You don't remember me do you?' she continued. 'You said you were going to take me out for a meal.'

'Yes of course I remember you and I'd love to take you for a meal like I said.'

'Why didn't you ring me, Steve?'

I grinned broadly and moved in for the defensive counter attack.

'I mislaid your phone number.'

'I thought you'd say that,' she smirked walking away. I didn't give it to you. 'See ya.'

Talk about being shot down in flames.


Steve

[gpw2009]

You have a wife now Ste,, don't be greedy!

[Ste Preece]

Yeah, you're right.

I'll leave the blondes alone.

Cheers

Steve

[Sully]

I once took down a number on a fiver, it being the only piece of paper I could get my hands on, in 'Ginsters' (remember Jesters on the strip ) and for me she was pretty foxy. Rolling forward an hour or so in Ali Baba's and down to my last fiver I had the crushing choice whether to go hungry and keep the number (possibly leading to a future life of happiness and bliss - or at least a decent rub out) or go for an Ali Baba's 'screaming ab-dab special'...


... God I had the shits the next day

[Ste Preece]

I remember an oppo of mine who trapped a jenny at HMS Warrior. He acquired a single grot and let her inside. Meanwhile he headed back to his own grot to get some more ale. On the way he walked into a couple of the lads whom he shared some whiskey with. The extra alcohol topped him up and he literally fell asleep in minutes. I was busy finishing the whisky with the lads when he suddenly woke up and remembered the wren. He jumped up out of bed and headed at speed for the door. Unfortuantely he was a little disorientated and ran straight into the wall, knocking himself out. When he came around again later, the woman was gone!!!!

He was threaders!!!!


Steve

[got1]

Re: JOKE of the WEEKToo Funny Not To Share!!




HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?

WELL, YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE...

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.




THEN, THAT
UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ASS,

GREY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED:





'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?

[1582Smith]

It's always fun misleading things and forgetting about people you meet and then meet them in the most awkward places. I''ve met a few girls that i haven't spoke to really since i met them.

Always a good laugh after.