Anybody had or have this problem?

[Nemo]

Ok, now the army is something i've always wanted to do, but never really voiced my ideas or future plans to anyone.

Anyway, i recently told my parents that i would like to join the royal artillery, and, well.... you can guess their reaction.

I fully made up my mind before i voiced this that going into the regiment was something that i really want to do, but for some reason (and you know how influential parents can be), they managed to mess my head up, telling me i'll be bullied then killed in battle

So now i'm screwed. my future seems so dis-jointed that i can't think anymore and don't know whatt i really want. I want my parents to be proud of me, not angry. i want to please them, not piss them off!

Did anyone else find they had this problem? The military is something i definitely want to persue, but my parents are holding me back, and.. well.. i've always been guided by my parents

Any advice would be cool....

ps. i'm not a mummy's boy, REALLY I'M NOT!

[Hyperlithe]

Given the current situation, they are probably not angry, just terrified of you going away one day and not coming home. Give them a little bit of time to get used to the idea of you joining the military, it's a hard thing for a parent to deal with, especially if they don't have any experience of it themselves.
If it's what you really want to do, stick with it. Find out as much as you can about what you want to do, visit your local AFCO etc. and try and get your parents involved as much as you can.
This is your chance to show them that you are serious about the army, and mature enough to decide what you want from the rest of your life. Forgive me saying it, but however old you are, parents will always see you as their child, it's difficult for them to let you grow up.
Nobody here is going to slate you for caring about your parents' feelings, full respect to you from this quarter. Like I said, give them a bit of time, and see it from their point of view. Then you will start seeing the way to bring them round.

Good luck!

[minimac]

Nemo mate. I understand FULLY!

My dad almost put me in hospital when I told him. He knows A LOT about Army life and has been to NI. I told him the reason that he didnt want me to join the RM is becuase he hasnt got the balls to do it. And he threw a total wobbler. Said that anyone can prance about with a rifle and ;be hard'.

He said he'd tell me about it one day. When I'm mature enough . Long wait there then.

Nemo get your parents down the AFCO, the bods there can make any aspect of military life sound interesting and rewarding. Make sure they see you going for runs and doing pressups: show them you are serious.

Good luck

Keep us posted either here or by PM.

MM

[bigbart]

Last time I joined, it upset my mother. This time, it's my wife. I understand the way your parents are thinking, but you've got to live your life the way you want to. You only get one life (I know thats a cliche) and if you go through life trying to please everyone, you will be the one missing out. When you hit 28 or so, you'll be to old to join. Then you'll have thrown your chances away. Do you want to be a civvy forever?

[Gary_amsterdam]

just say "lick my ballax" and make them proud or whatever.

[lew]

I knew I was going to have this problem with my parents to, I broke them into the idea, first I wanted to be a policeman, then a fireman, then do something in the RAF of some kind, then infantry. This process took just over a year but now they are all up for me going into the RM.

You could do it that way but it depends on how long you got. Its one way of getting them used to the idea. Plus they will start to look into what you want to do with your life and learn a little about it for them selves.

lew

[Halsy]

Yeh I had this problem. My mum went ballistic and threatened to disown me. Think it is just the fear about losing their child that makes them go all unreasonable.

However once she knew I was completely serious, saw I was training and being committed she started to come round, and now she's even talking to me about my career!!! Now that is freaky!

Therefore my advice to you would be to just follow your heart, take your parents down to the AFCO, explain to them your reasons and just GO FOR IT!!! After all the most important things your paretns will want is you to be happy!

[J J]

wow...seems i'm one of the lucky ones whos parents supported my decision from the start!well,thats probably because of my dad being an ex soldier...so he knows all about it.only my mum was sad 'cause i left home ...mothers ...
the things that you hear from your parents,i heard from some of my friends..."do you want to get killed???" was a typical question...
have a nice,long,serious conversation with your parents!as the others already said,if they see that your serious about it,and it would make you happy,they'll eventually understand and support your decision 100%!!
good luck and all the best for your future!

[MikeB]

try and involve your parents in the recruitment process as much as you can, believe me this will make such a difference and they will come to understand what the particular job you want to do involves. Most mothers think everyone in the army are all infantry except the officers, basically its a lack of understanding.

Show them the army website, take them down the AFCO, let them watch the presentation they give you etc

Tell them you have a back up plan incase it falls through, this will show them you ARE mature enough to think of your long term future.

And as mentioned above, it doesnt matter how old you are you will still be your mothers "little Boy" that i can assure you will never go away!

[minimac]

Yeh I had this problem. My mum went ballistic and threatened to disown me. Think it is just the fear about losing their child that makes them go all unreasonable.

I've been disinherited!

Parents eh!

MM

[Nemo]

thanks people for all your reply's. its good to hear that i'm not the only person in the world with the same problem

[Dave.Mil]

when I joined my mum moved house were they trying to tell me something or was I just lucky?. I found them again on my first leave.

[flighty]

My lad joined up... passed out from Pirbright in May.

He has now been accepted for Para training which has made me very twitchy.

I have been totally, 100% behind his choices.

I will be freaked as a parent, but Ben has been transformed from a shiftless, unmotivated teenager into someone who has got something to say for himself and get up in the morning for.

And I thank all of you on the forum for giving me a bit of insight.

[goldie ex rmp]

no mother or even father wants her son or daughter to join any service unles they have served because its fear of the unknown and they believe the papers and media etc, but you get them to shut up about how well your doing, how smart you are and what a fantastic pass off parade you had to everyone who will listen !
go with your heart mate and try to include them in everything you do, bribe your dad with the thought of dutyfree larger and your mam with smellies and you should be ok......i was.
you could even impress them even more by joining the ROYAL MILITARY POLICE
what ever you do good luck!