im new!!

[Wully]

Have you noticed how quickly the theme of these threads change? Here we start off welcoming newcomer Tara to the fold and before you know it we are discussing Doc Jolly's literary efforts!! I knew him many, many years ago when he was at Lympstone. Just had to make sure he didn't have both hands on your shoulders when hew was giving you a PM!!!

[dave barrett]

How right you are Wully.....About how easily the theme is hijacked, I apologise to Tara for stealing her welcomes, let me extend my own. Now where was I.....A hand on each shoulder for the old prostrate massage..A favourite trick of a Doc and his LMA in Singers, Doc would conduct the massage and support himself with one hand on patients shoulder. LMA woiuld creep up behind and put one of his hands on patient's other shoulder.......That used to sort the men from the??????
Regards
Dave B.

[barryc]

Back to welcoming Tara to the family, I am sure she will enjoy herself once she settles in. I have just come back from two weeks yomping in the Dolomites (you can get cream for them), fantastic countryside with only a 15 - 20 lb day sac to carry. Point of the submission was a) Welcome Tara and b) after only a short absence my head is spinning when I get back to the bootie wit, sacrcasm and genmeral BS. Boy apart from work, am I glad to be back.

Barry

[El Prez]

I must reiterate my welcome to Tara, after removing these gloves. Oh the snap of latex on a marbled thigh.
Her admission to being a trainee mid-wife set me off on my favourite tangent. For those, like me, who are unable to enjoy the hazards of the workplace, due to physical limitations, the following may help you enjoy the forthcoming party season, yes it's nearly Crimbo.
Imagine the scene, the wife's office party, Peter Shiny-Head, head of finance and all things paper, advances with his wife in tow, and knowing my limitations sneers, "so you're Elaine's little man who does", Keeping a straight face I always reply, "that's me, household executive, but I presume you haven't heard about my new qualification?" "No, what's that"
"I'm studying for my PHD in Theoretical Gynaecology", it's at this point that husband and wife are beginning to be hooked, they are slightly repulsed but excrutiatingly curious about this strange qualification "What's Theoretical Gynaecology" Now I strike, leering meaningfully at the wife I utter the following "It's where I look at your wife and wonder what it's like to get in her knickers". Exit dick head and wife, receive free beer from appreciative staff members. Try it, it works every time, and the feeling you get as you watch the prat collapse in front of you is worth the bollocking from Nurse.

[Pilgrim Norway]

Welcome Tara… You’re “family” here….

I was always told that I had the hands for your line of work…
Sadly I missed out.

Still, the temperature was minus 5.6 centigrade here this morning
and the ‘touchy - catchy’ phase would be made difficult by woolly mittens.
perhaps it’s just as well that I stayed an amateur.

As for the other gentlemen here on these pages –
they can split your sides at the stroke of a pen…

Honi soit qui mal y pense you lot…

Looking forward to your corrective comments when ‘this lot’
get their’s twisted Tara…

By the way – do you have a professional term for Blurr in your line of work ?

'Aye

[El Prez]

(Adopt Brummie whine) And there was me thinking that Honey Swar and Mal Eponce were strikers for Dudley in the Boddingtons league?

[dave barrett]

Isn't this typical, A nice young female, with an occupation close to our hearts, well at least close to some bodily organ, wants to join us for a pleasant conversation and the ‘smoothies' of the group all develop little pointy bits on their foreheads and frighten her off...She hasn't been heard from since Wednesday! We may be living in an electronic age, but this thread could have happened in the London Bar, Union Street, Guz (that's Plymouth, for any civvies reading), from 1664 up until they pulled the bridge down in 1975....(now that's a good Bootie trivia question...I was actually on R & R from N.I. when they had the street closed off to pull it down....I saw this huge roadworks sign, red with white writing that read... "Union Street Is Closed"....I pondered for 4 days on how I could get it passed the Crab Police at Aldergrove Airport!!).

Anyway, to get back on thread, because she had the good manners to come over and speak to us, you ‘stacks ratings' think she is on the pull...

Tara, that is not the case, not all bootnecks are helicopter pilots, not even the ones that really are!!....Most of the guys that mouth off on this site are basket cases, maybe if you walk back to the bar, get a round in, and put a straw in each glass most of us will be able to drink, and speak to you without dribbling....Note I say most, sadly there are a few who are beyond help....Speaking personally I am very interested in your chosen career.......and would like to hear......ARRRGHHH!

[Sea Soldier]

Dave,

Was that ... "Aaargghhh", !!! the sound of you being hurled back into the basket,with Teddy & Looby Lou ?

BTW ... what was the Booty trivia question ? ... and is the answer "The Two Trees" & "The Antelope" ?

[El Prez]

I am objectionable, make that I object. I offer the young lady employment in private practice, with lashings, ow, of time off for bad behaviour and other minge, sorry, fringe benefits and somebody, there's always one, complains. T'aint fair, I saw her first! Nurse is pouring cooled Shiraz to cool my intemperate brow.
Come on Tara, you know you want to
PS Harry met Parry.

[Mike]

The Bridge, top end of Union Straza, GONE!
Does any one know where the plaque on the left sunderside of the bridge went to? It read " Here in the early hours of Friday 22nd December 1965, did Mike O'Rourke loose his cherry to a Miss Anthia Rowbothom, spinster of this Parish." It was placed there by the Honerable Comapany of Magic Stick Patrons.
Anyone with contacts with the demolishers, Guzz council or the Maritime Museum, please supply me with addresses ASAP, Cheers.
Aye and welcome to the Loonie Bin Tara............ If you dare to return, Go On I dare yer.....come back and give'm hell
Aye,

[Sea Soldier]

Ahhh ... the "Magic Stick" ... yerst !,had some good nights there whilst in 41 & then whilst on Intrepid,in refit at Devonport ... staggering back to the Dockyard & to the Chippie opposite St Levan's Gate for a "Chief & PO's" (Mega oggie mit und mega wurst stuck in it) & a bottle of "Corona" as mouthwash,the following morning .... it's a miracle my stomach has lasted this long !

Welcome back from leave Mike, ... Have a good time ? ... forget it yer' back ! & you've got the "Middle"

[dave barrett]

Yep Yorky, that was me getting forced back into the toy box...the most painful part of that was I landed on an old cowboy outfit....42 Cdo!

Mike, sadly I can throw some light on the plaque you mention. As I watched the demolition of said bridge I noticed this young lady (Anitha Rowbotham) furtively unscrewing said plaque...I approached her and asked her if she was qualified to ‘unscrew' it...she assured me she was, and the reason she needed your plaque was so that she could complete her collection. Further conversation led me to understand that after acquiring yours she only needed one from the main gate sentry at Stonehouse barracks and another from the guard commander at Bickleigh, then she would have the complete order of battle of 3 Commando Brigade, circa 1965....What a girl!!
Regards Dave B.

[Mike]

The BITCH....

[Wully]

Being a newcomer to this forum can be a bit scary, especially if a serving or ex-serving member of the Corps. It must be quite difficult to understand the banter, and dare I say sarcasm, contained in some of the threads. I did my full stretch in the Corps and sometimes I'm at a loss - maybe I'm just too long in the tooth. Maybe you could be a little gentle with the newcomers until they find their feet so to speak. Coma on back Tara, it's only a bit of fun - bootneck style!!