Health Lesson 1

[Dave.Mil]

gone

[flighty]

We ladies do not poo ...... or fart ..... or carry cash .... like the Queen.

My ablutions are my own business. Unlike Artist, who chooses to share his toilet habits with the whole www and inhabitants of no 6. l

LIKE WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW!

KiwiBen will no doubt confirm this.

Jayne x

[KiwiBen]

Jayne, firstly my appologies for overlooking this thread for so long!

Yes I'm backing Jayne 100% on that, Artist will talk about a good dump he had back in '72 while in Malta as if it were but a few hours ago! In fact his recollection will be so enthralling we'll even be wrinkling our noses at the poo, as if it before our very eyes

And whilst on the subject, there is a real poo chart similar to Doc's one that I was looking at while at Devonport Naval Base when taking a medical for the RNZN Ace it was, everything done on a scale of one to ten, how hard, how lumpy, sticky/dry, light/dark smelly or otherwise.

Anyway, a top thread Doc I'll see you in a bit

Benjo

[Doc]

Will you be at No6 this week Benjo?

I have done my will, left my debts to the folks

I have a safety bergen dumped 2km south of No6 incase I need to bug out or is it north? did so many dog legs I cant remember

[Wully]

Hi Doc, thought I would add this to your Medical Advice thread


HYPOCHONDRIA

I am the sickest person I know, No energy, no get up and go. I've had gangrene and cirrhosis,
Polio, mumps and asbestosis,
I've now contracted hepatitis,
Coupled with conjunctivitis.
I now feel some degrees below,
And seem to lack a healthy glow.

I'm so unwell I feel quite sick,
I realise I'm not in good nick.
I've got chickenpox and rabies,
Diabetes, thrush and scabies.
I have dreadful tonsillitis,
Not helped by my bronchitis.
My pneumonia's getting worse,

And this syphilis is a curse.
Call the doctor, I'm not well,
This tinnitus can give me hell.

I'm fed up with this dysentery,
But this impetigo is new to me.
I have acute tuberculosis,
Which won't help my silicosis.
No energy, no get up and go,
Aching now from top to toe.

I've got the clap and enteritis, Not to mention my appendicitis. I have asthma, lockjaw, herpes too,
My jaundice leaves a yellow hue.
Whooping cough, osteoporosis
Together with my thrombosis.
I think I've got bubonic plague,
But symptoms can be very vague.

My Parkinson's has not improved, And my polypus must be removed. Angina causes me such pain, And dropsy makes me go insane.
I'm now suffering from anaemia,
And I've just developed bulimia.
But both cholera and pyelitis
Are stable, as with laryngitis.
Sadly, I seem to
have diphtheria,
Plus I can't get rid of malaria.
A visit to my doctor's overdue,
It seems I've succumbed to flu.
Some say I'm a hypochondriac,
And have been one from a lad.
I've not heard of hypochondria,
But I'm sure I've got it bad

[KiwiBen]

Doc I might make it down again depending, PM me the dates and I'll try getting a train down.

I will be leaving my emergency bug out bergen 2 km away in a norwesterly direction only accessible via two sewers and a stormwater drain, and it takes eight left handed dog legs to find it! Let me know oppo if you need to use my safe place and I'll stash your bergen there too, one cannot be too carefull....But then again we are only visiting Aunty Jayne and not the post office so the decision is entirely up to you

Good poem too by the way Wully, had me grinning a bit

Cheers, Benjo

[Doc]

Benjo Im there tomorrow until Saturday PM!

Wully, outstanding good sir!! Brills!

We used have them far side cartoons in the Sickbay, the best was a guy on the operating table with his right leg in the air from under a sheet. All the Surgeons are gathered around the table and the caption is something like

"Oh good one.....Poke his brain just there"

Best one though is Spike Milligans Headstone "Told you I was ill!"

[Doc]

HA HA!!!

Found it!!!!!!!!!



Bloody Brills!!

[Doc]

and who can forget.........



On the reception desk we had one of them FarSide day by day calenders from a medical rep, the battered and bloody bootnecks had to wait as the Medics picked themselves up off the floor every morning!

[Doc]

Ive also just clicked the link on Franks post previous page!!!

go on I dare you

[Tab]

Doc...It is just some one arseing about