OFF Digital

[Mutley]

Having been de-digitised due to the big boys closing ITV OFF-digital, I find that the magic box in the corner will only let me watch a basic four channels.

Imagine my horror at having to revert back to this archaic entertainment and not being able to comprehend anything anymore.

Help please:

1. What has happened to Amy Turtle.
2. Who is Big Brother?
3. Where does Minnie Caldwell go now the snug has been modernised?
4. Why is the survivor raw?
5. Who is the fat tart with Richard, pretending to be Judy?
6. When is the nine o'clock news?
7. Who did shoot Den?
8. Why can't I watch with mother?
9. Why do all the crap films on a Sunday afternoon involve Elmer re-writing history.

and finally:

10. I keep watching the sky for 10 minutes after midnight, but still cannot see any tarts with big thrpenny bits.............

[Mutley]

And another thing, what happened to Fanny and her Johnny?

[Beast]

Shame ITV Off Digital is banjoed.
All i can say is my Sky Digital box is working just ace.

[harry hackedoff]

Muts, are we talking" wellies off the Queen"





Harry

[Mutley]

Easy, you'll start talking about your feminine side next!