some questions regarding a Canadian joining the Royal Navy

[wilberhayanisel]

0. I am a Canadian joining UK Royal Navy. I am applying for the medical assistant position. Is there any household here that can offer me a free room during the training and selection period? I was told the recruitment centers are all over UK, so anywhere is fine. If not, at least allow me to pay for the rents after I am enrolled in the Navy and get a paycheque? I can provide all the required documents that I will be joining the Navy, which ensures my paycheque and the ability to pay for the rents afterward, and you will have my information so you can always call the Navy and say something like "get me Navy soldier number #$%^#@%". Also, I would prefer if I could actually get in UK before the selection and training period to get to know UK better and familiarize myself with the country before.
1. What is "Confirmation of non-liability for national or military service" exactly and how do I get it from whom?
2. What is "Copy of deed poll if you have changed your name"? Something like a citizenship card? I was born in South Korea, but I got an English name when I came to Canada.
3. What is "A signed and completed Tattoo proforma showing any tattoos you may have"? I don't have any tatoo. But where can I and how can I this kind of document?
4. After I send all the documents, it takes about 3 months to process my document and another 3 months to contact me for the selection and training period, right? Then after the training another 3 months until I start working in the UK Navy.

[Firstmate]

Just so that you know. The application process for MA is currently 36 Months. This means that from the time you pass the Recruitment Test (RT) at the careers office to actually arriving at HMS Raleigh will be approximately 36 months.

Oh. we heard you the first time!

And another thing. What's wrong with the Canadian navy?

[wilberhayanisel]

How about Medical Officer or Chef? Chef, Medical Officer, and Medical Assistant were the only positions that seemed to match my personality and preference. I just picked MA because I thought "Chef has to work at least 3 times a day, but how many people could get injured every day?" hence MA. Also, if I study hard enough they provide more education and I could even become a doctor eventually, right?

There is a rich Japanese girl stalking me in Canada that keeps following me everywhere stalking. I have contacted the police about it but her parents pretty much control Canadian police and Canadian legal systems. Some kind of Japanese Embassador's daughter and some rich Japanese International Corporation's niece or something. Hence, leaving Canada. Also, I plan on settling in Europe, and since I don't really want to learn another language at my age (26) English speaking countries are...UK. Also, UK girls are hotter and there is this illusion of being conservative (as in virgin), at least some of them, at least more than multicultural countries like North America.

Also, other than marriage life or language issue, UK is a good place to live in general.

Hence, UK Navy. Simply put, UK Navy is my door to UK citizenship.

So, I suppose I should get some other job to move to UK then wait 36 months to get the Medical Assistant position in UK.

[Firstmate]

Oh dear......