Ever Had Something Funny Happen on a Descent ?

[dave1234]

Anyone ever a good laugh on board or during/after a descent ?

A warmer into the bank………


ABEX Germany late 70’s. Loads of units going to be on the ground – RAF Reg, etc. Pre-flight briefing in a hanger at Wildenrath [ I think… ]. Bunch of lads from 272 Falschirmjaeger on the drop. Some occifer from I can’t remember where [ from a non-airborne unit ] keep babbling on about “the necessity for absolute silence during the descent”. This was repeated twice. Some of the old and bold none too impressed.

Due to our guests only being used to the C-160 Transall, the RAF announced 1300 feet altitude for the drop. Lovely-Jubbly . Don’t get to do that that too often !
As the loadie came down the “alleyway” doing his checks he looked very embarrassed and said “Sorry lads, but I’ve been told to remind you again about the silence thing”.

That was it.

Night jump, very dark. Did the drills and actually got a few seconds to enjoy the descent for the first time. Out of nowhere, two of the lads [ definitely Anti-Tanks ] pulled out gazoos and managed to belt out a few bars of “The Ride of The Valkyries”. Sound must have travelled for miles. Superb. I could hear blokes laughing in the air all around me. Gazoos were ditched in flight. Brilliantly planned, brilliantly executed. Guilty parties never found….never punished….

Dave

[gunner75]

similar scenario although was a training drop at brize norton . Every one was on edge and nervy due to being new to it all. We had just been warned about getting into twist and the dangers of air steal, then taught the necessary drills to get out of them. We were jumping with an attachment of ghurkas. Although they were taking in all the instruction, they seemed to come across as not really understanding the lingo too well. Anyway my jump came, all went well and was buzzing with adrenaline when I landed. I thought I would look up and watch in admiration the other guys exit the aircraft. Out they came - doing the drills, perfect exit, no twists in sight,eerily quite, fantastic to watch. Then suddenly AIR STEAL or should say one was about to happen, amidst the eery quite, before the immortal words were shouted 'GET OUT OF MY AIRSPACE YOU SLANTY EYED CNUT'.... classic even the PJI on the mega phone creased himself laughing

[Wholley]

Coffee all over the keyboard Guns.

[Tab]

Back in 1957 we did a full brigade drop into Denmark and as the sky was raining paratroopers the second wave of planes came over and did a heavy drop right in the middle of us. So we were coming down and Land Rovers, three toners, heavy guns and every thing else was whistling past you and when you hit the ground you grabbed your gear and run as fast you could to get of the DZ. While looking to to see what might hit you, you would then run into some other poor sod doing the same thing if it wasn't so dam dangerous it would have been funny.

[dave1234]

ENDEX then three hour low level all over the shop before the actual drop home. All Compo finished night before [ including sweeties ]. Due to time factor no brekky. N*****, Glaswegian Pakistani , and moslem is a few seats down from me. Great lad.

RAF have given us white cardboard box lunches. About an hour into the flight we all start scoffing. Not bad grub. Everyone stuffing themselves except N***** who just sits poking about in the box and not touching anything. Does not look happy.

One of the lads knows something is up and sticks his head in to see the box. Starts creasing himself.

“He’s got a bacon sarnie, pork pie and a packet of smoky bacon crisps ........but he does have an kit-kat !!”

[got1]

1st battalion jump (no. 9) night jump on to a DZ somewhere between Edinburgh & Glasgow.
Came out and did my checks,pulled the pin on my leg strap of my container and released my hooks.
Next thing I know is i'm held in the harness by the reserve under my chin, no container,no leg straps.Didn't know at the time but I had a faulty box (the other box was going half crown sixpence).
I landed and was just getting out of gear when this big black figure comes out the dark ( he was covered in peat), it was the Adjutant holding my container above his head (he was a big man) screaming "who's is this".
I said "it's mine sir ", he throw it at me and stormed off muttering about a court marshall for jettising my gear.
I spent the rest of the exercise carrying this SLR that could fire at right angles, and mess tins that were as flat as a pancake.
I did get off with jettising my equipment as it was found out at the inquiry that the box was faulty.
It is so clear, I think it happened yesterday.

[Paratrooper01]

We got 2 fun jumps from 12 grand at the end of our High altitude para course to get in a throw away conversion for the light weight parachutes used for skydiving.

My PJI turns round to me on the way up and asks what i wanted to do in freefall, what exit i wanted to do off the ramp etc... Decided in the end to do a reverse bomb off the ramp and hold it for 10 seconds or so i ended up spinning through the air for a bit. Jump went well, and we got back to the airport where we were mounting from and i had a look at the video taken from the ramp....my PJI ended up running from half way down the c-130 and doing a bloody cartwheel off the ramp!! Talk about taking the piss. Very funny and i dont think anyone has done one since.

[timex]

Just before Milan was introduced to the RM, 45 Recce Troop were tasked to do some pallet jumps in Norway with the one fully Operational Milan on trials. On leaving the rear door after the pallet, imagine the surprise on the 4 man sticks faces as they watched the kit plunge all the way down as the chute failed to deploy, straight through the frozen lake DZ...not as big as a surprise as on the riggers face later though.....

Or Terry B passing Dave R (the PJI) on the way out the rear ramp and handing him a spare training rig..........

[sky ninja steve]

friend of mine on our jumps course at brize lands ,doesnt capewell in time canopy reinflates drags him 200 meters across dz straight into and over the awaiting mini bus . took me for ever to pack me kit up from laughing so much at least he didnt have far to walk with all his kit .

[sky ninja steve]

another funny story this time told to me as being "true" was the one of a stray cat that used to lurk about on the dz at skydive arizona when i skydived there for a while .people got so peeved off with the cat nicking their scoff that they decided to try the old does a cat always land on its feet myth .so they get the cat in bag up to 16 grand jump out four way star round the bag let the cat out cat goes straight up the arm of one of the animal lovers he spends the next 50 sec pulling the cat off one arm only for it to stick to the other arm cypress deploys his chute for him at about 900 feet .Coming in to land few feet off the floor and the lucky little bugger runs down his leg and jumps off and pegs it away .looks like cats always do land on their feet even from 16 grand up as i say this seasoned jumper told me he was there when this was happening...yeah cheers!!

[Tab]

We were at Abingdon doing the Parachute course and we had a Paddy with us that had trouble on every jump he made. On first jump with the weapon contianer he made it down safetly. He stood up and atarted to cheer and jump up and down that he had done one that was right, while we all stood there and watched another chap coming down with his weapon contianer swinging widly underneath, guess what the swing was at it lowest point when it hit Paddy on back of the head knocking him out and nearly knocking his head off. I know we should not have laughed but that was paddies luck

[colmurph]

In 1966 while with the 3d SFG at Ft. Bragg I was on a HALO drop from 12,500 feet with Maj. D..... who showed up for the drop with a terrible hangover from the night before. We were all wearing Bell Helmets instead of the soft "Bunny Hats" and were jumping without oxygen. At altitude Maj. D.... was beginning to look a little green around the gills and after exiting he got violently sick. The puke came out of his mouth and blew up into his helmet and upon opening, it all rained down all over him. About a week later he showed up hung over again and got sick again. This time he rolled over in a back to earth position before he let spew. Folks watching on the ground saw other jumpers tracking away from him to avoid the mess.