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[gutlessrhyme]

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[Prm]

In my opinion if she really loved you, she would let you do it, she would realise that this is what you really wanted to do and stick by you through the tough times.

But i'm speaking from an idealistic view point, you should get more valid points soon though as there are plenty of serving couples who frequent the forum.

[flo]

Have a look throught he forums, there is a lot of info regarding joining up and its amazing how many people are in your situation. ie. Should i shouldnt i!! Firstly let me explain that i am former serving and i am also married to a serving Royal Marine, so i see both sides of the coin. I have the experience of being personnel and also experience of being 'a military wife'.

What are the reasons for her not wanting you to join, is it the lonliness? is she scared about uprooting? does she not mix well? Or is she thinking OTHER WOMEN!!!!!! the list could go on and on but i bet the latter is on her mind but she wont admit it. If she is scared and wants to talk introduce her to the forums and she can ask away and we will answer.

As for yourself, my advise to you would be join, explain to your girlfriend that she is part of your life but you would grow to resent her if she didnt let you at least try to fulfill your dream. The lads on here will laugh but im going to use an old favourite quote of mine, STAND BY YOUR MAN NOT IN FRONT. Let her know that she could benenfit from a different lifestyle if she took a step back and let you complete basic. But explain to her that even while being apart she will be more important because she will be your link to civilian life and she will need to be there for the times when you feel like rapping and dont think you can carry on. Explain that it will be down to her to keep you going and at the end of it all she will be so proud to see you pass out, knowing that she helped you get there.
All she needs is the right encouragment, make her part of this experience and who knows what might happen.

GO FOR IT, if you dont you will regret it further down the line, you know that old saying, WHAT IF!!!!

good luck

[gutlessrhyme]

What are the reasons for her not wanting you to join, is it the lonliness? is she scared about uprooting? does she not mix well? Or is she thinking OTHER WOMEN!!!!!! the list could go on and on but i bet the latter is on her mind but she wont admit it.
good luck

I think its a mix of all really. She has never been abroad (Im taking her to turkey this summer though). She is very close to her family and doesnt often leave them. She can mix well but she is a very nervous person even though she puts on an act that she is this really confident person.

So its a mix of everything i think. She said also the thought of knowing that i would be out there and could die any minute - to use her words

[flo]

She said also the thought of knowing that i would be out there and could die any minute - to use her words

And you could also be run over crossing the road!!!! Sorry mate but it sounds like she is using the guilt (her guilt) factor as a doorstop to stop you from doing what you want to do. There are thousands of soldiers serving in all four corners of the globe and the statistics show its 0.something daft of a fraction that are injured or killed. You have more chance of dying in civvie street.

Guilt kills a relationship it doesn't make it.

What do YOU want to do, if she loves you enough and your relationship is strong enough then she will follow you no matter what. And in the long term it will provide a good basis for making any decisions about a possible future marriage.

And consider that you are not married, what if a few years down the road the realtionship falters, what then, will you still be sitting at a desk doing admin for those you want to serve alongside or will you be living your dream and serving alonside those you did admin for

I know what i would be doing.

[harry hackedoff]

I`ve just gorn all warm and fuzzy reading your stuff Flo
Aaaaaahhhhh

I wish you were my Mummy

[grim]

Flo's right mate... there's always risk involved with military service, but you've got more chance of being killed in a fight outside the pub at home.

As for your missus... I'm now seperated from my wife... after leaving the forces I joined the RauxAF (after I married her) and after five years she told me it was her or the forces... she hadn't married in to the life, I'd just dropped it on her so I did what she wanted and left... three years later she left me anyway !!

If she loves you she'll make the effort... at the end of the day you've got your life ahead of you... you really need to go for it !! Good luck anyway !

[lady therese]

Your girlfriend loves you that is why she hesitates. But, if you go for it, she will soon understand it and support your career. Just give her time.... It is really hard for someone you love to be away from you so long. My son is asking me if he can join a military school for boys and I am also hesitant for the same reason. But, I am sure I have just to support him if it is what he really wants.

[PIMA]

Sounds like you are not completely sure on whether you want to join. Really assess the situation and weigh out the positives and negatives.
If you decide that the military is for you, don’t let someone else make a decision on your future. You will regret it later.
I know it is a hard choice. I wish you the best.

[saffron]

If you are really committed to the army then do it. If she loves you, she will still be there. I never wanted a partner in the military, but have had 8 years of it so far. Don,t live on the patch and keep a civillian life going. Any army wife soon learns that your first responsibility is to the army, and family second, sad but true, she needs to be the kind of woman, who can get on with things, move house, deal with crisis etc without bleating. Took me time to learn, but frankly the crap we deal with at home is nothing compared to what many of the army face in theatre. No one has a right to determine your choice of career, you don,t have to condone everything a loved one does, you just have to love them.
Saffron

[Tab]

This post is now 18 months old, do you think he may still be looking for a answer