) or orange extract blahblahblah.I've finished now you can come out from behind the sofa.
GRRRRRRRRRRRR
MM
Share This Page:
Things that annoy.
-
Hyperlithe
- Member
- Posts: 2229
- Joined: Fri 21 May, 2004 1:53 pm
- Location: It's a secret...
Car alarms.
Or rather the people who don't come out of their houses to switch them off.
and
People who spell your name wrong. Even when you've spelled it for them 3 times.
Or rather the people who don't come out of their houses to switch them off.
and
People who spell your name wrong. Even when you've spelled it for them 3 times.
You can have peace.
Or you can have freedom.
Don't ever count on having both at once.
***********************************
The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours
Or you can have freedom.
Don't ever count on having both at once.
***********************************
The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours
Charvers -
WITHIN MINUTES of arriving in Newcastle you will encounter the legendary Geordie hospitality, when a complete stranger approaches you with his right hand extended. "Lenz a tab," he’ll say.
You have made a pal, and he is suggesting you cement the friendship with the long-term loan of a cigarette. You, in turn, are obliged to lend him one.
This routine will happen every time you venture out in Newcastle. So if you don’t smoke, now’s a good time to start.
The ‘friendliest’ types are young lads wearing colourful sportswear and a "nippa" behind their ear, who sound as though they’re talking through their left nostril.
When he says "Lenz a tab," you will reply "nee bother, charver." He’ll be sure to look out for you in future.
He may have a female with him. She’ll also be wearing sportswear, dripping with gold-coloured jewellery. The fringe of her yellow hair will have been carefully sprayed over a coke tin until it’s twice the size of her head. She is known as a Kappa Slapper – or "me bewer."
In this case you will offer two cigarettes. And if you’re feeling particularly gregarious, add the words "bet she gans like the clappaz." Your wit will be noted.
Now that you understand this easy piece of etiquette, why not try it yourself?
Simply walk up to a stranger in a bar or on a bus, lean close to their face, and say the words:
"Lenz a tab."
Better still, try it on everyone you pass in the street – you’ll be surprised at the interesting situations this can lead to.
And you’ll know when you’ve met a true kindred spirit, when they reply "Ah was ganna ask yee."
WITHIN MINUTES of arriving in Newcastle you will encounter the legendary Geordie hospitality, when a complete stranger approaches you with his right hand extended. "Lenz a tab," he’ll say.
You have made a pal, and he is suggesting you cement the friendship with the long-term loan of a cigarette. You, in turn, are obliged to lend him one.
This routine will happen every time you venture out in Newcastle. So if you don’t smoke, now’s a good time to start.
The ‘friendliest’ types are young lads wearing colourful sportswear and a "nippa" behind their ear, who sound as though they’re talking through their left nostril.
When he says "Lenz a tab," you will reply "nee bother, charver." He’ll be sure to look out for you in future.
He may have a female with him. She’ll also be wearing sportswear, dripping with gold-coloured jewellery. The fringe of her yellow hair will have been carefully sprayed over a coke tin until it’s twice the size of her head. She is known as a Kappa Slapper – or "me bewer."
In this case you will offer two cigarettes. And if you’re feeling particularly gregarious, add the words "bet she gans like the clappaz." Your wit will be noted.
Now that you understand this easy piece of etiquette, why not try it yourself?
Simply walk up to a stranger in a bar or on a bus, lean close to their face, and say the words:
"Lenz a tab."
Better still, try it on everyone you pass in the street – you’ll be surprised at the interesting situations this can lead to.
And you’ll know when you’ve met a true kindred spirit, when they reply "Ah was ganna ask yee."
Prescott.
Radio 5 reported he was being escorted along the grid this afternoon by Bernie 'Altitude challenged' Ecclestone, when Bernie stopped and introduced him to a short balding gent in his 60s. Prescott put on the Politicos usual sneering smile, 'aren't you glad you have met me' look; Bernie realising the error of Prezza's ways had to go up to him and say "That is Stirling Moss!"
Reply, "Stirling who? Oh yes of course ho hum hurrumph a hum........"
DICK HEAD
Radio 5 reported he was being escorted along the grid this afternoon by Bernie 'Altitude challenged' Ecclestone, when Bernie stopped and introduced him to a short balding gent in his 60s. Prescott put on the Politicos usual sneering smile, 'aren't you glad you have met me' look; Bernie realising the error of Prezza's ways had to go up to him and say "That is Stirling Moss!"
Reply, "Stirling who? Oh yes of course ho hum hurrumph a hum........"
DICK HEAD
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v77/Robiz/movie_star_wars_yoda.gif[/img]
El Presidente
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v77/Robiz/movie_star_wars_yoda.gif[/img]
El Presidente
Things I hate..........
1. Slow people who walk into you while they're wandering about with their mouths open, looking left while walking forwards. Dumb shits.
2. Slow people who get in your way as they wander about gormlessly. (notice a pattern here?)
3. Fat people who cry on TV because they can't walk and they've been told they'll die if they don't lose weight. You're fat because you sit and eat and do f*ck all else. Get off that wide arse and train. And don't f*cking EAT so much you fat sh*ts, there's no need. You're lazy and useless, and nobody feels sorry for you.
4. Prime Ministers who lie and send troops to war for no good reason, while at the same time cutting back on defence costs, leading to troops dying because they haven't been supplied with armoured vests.
5. Arabs that aren't happy unless they have something to shoot at in the name of "jihad" or some other bullsh*t like it.
6. Women who do men's jobs.
7. Sexists.
8. People who contradict themselves.
1. Slow people who walk into you while they're wandering about with their mouths open, looking left while walking forwards. Dumb shits.
2. Slow people who get in your way as they wander about gormlessly. (notice a pattern here?)
3. Fat people who cry on TV because they can't walk and they've been told they'll die if they don't lose weight. You're fat because you sit and eat and do f*ck all else. Get off that wide arse and train. And don't f*cking EAT so much you fat sh*ts, there's no need. You're lazy and useless, and nobody feels sorry for you.
4. Prime Ministers who lie and send troops to war for no good reason, while at the same time cutting back on defence costs, leading to troops dying because they haven't been supplied with armoured vests.
5. Arabs that aren't happy unless they have something to shoot at in the name of "jihad" or some other bullsh*t like it.
6. Women who do men's jobs.
7. Sexists.
8. People who contradict themselves.
"Some day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets..."
