Watching Paint Dry

[Shoulderholster]

This morning I awoke to a crystal clear sky and a stiff North Easterly breeze (Force 3 on the Beaufort wind scale) ambient temperature 8c but the wind chill taking it to about 3c.
I decided that the conditions were ideal for painting the fence panels with Bio Woody (a fast drying enviro friendly product).
Anyway I had painted the first two panels and all was going well untill "our Gurt" brought me a cup of tea.
As I stood back (cup of tea in hand) to admire my handy work I was careless enough to look down at the lawn.
What followed is best described as sensory overload,the sheer spectacle of watching paint dry and the simultaneous spectacle of the grass growing was to much for me.
I soon became nauseous from over stimulation,so I retired to my house,a tot of rum into my tea soon sorted things out.
This post is by way of a warning to the "older" members of the forum not to participate in a combination of the above activities.
SH

[John_D]

Well each
Its Sunday lunch time and I'm Heading for the Legion,
I just hope there is not a smell of paint when I enter It
tends to turn my Whiskey flat,
and steve it just goes to show how your mind works, even
on a good debate such as paint drying you mind always turns to sex.
I've noticed that only you can mention " Blow Jobs".

Catch you Later

John_D

[Yorkie Malone]

Yes JD I have just noticed that the time is getting on so it is pub opening time I have not painted anything this morning but as is said above the grass is growing in this nice warm climate that we have my beer will be getting pulled(but I doubt if I will get pulled)

I did notice though yesterday when I went to the greenhouse that my leeks had started to come though and watching them come trough is like watching paint dry but slower.

I have also noticed that the snowdrops are showing as well... this is the nearest thing to snow we have down here... no skis out again this year!!??

Must go or my pint will be loosing it's head

SyY

[Artist]

John

Maybe I should have worded the ref to Blowjobs better. I meant a soft blow of air to gently dry the wet area. Honest!

Have this morn been painting a hugh trunk with water based acylic paint, Buckinham green in fact. Left outside it dried in a hour. Have since been adding the tasteful Roses and Castles logo all over it with the name of the canal boat it is going to emblazoned on the lid.

Name of boat? "Rinsewind" after the wizard in the Discworld series by Terry Prachett. Owners of said boat a little anal retentive to say the least. You cant move for posters of Discworld characters framed and mounted all over the boat.

Owners are both in there 40's and "weird" they trog up and down the cut doing open air plays outside Public Houses. Call themselves the "Starpeople" After a show they will quite happily watch paint dry or worlds collide owing to their liking for Exotic Mushrooms and grass. (not the grass Shoulders loves, but the other stuff) Their Mushrooms on toast is bloody lethal!

I just listen to what they want doing, do it, get paid, and bugger off.

Artist

[John_D]

I'm sorry to go off the original subject
But there is nothing better than a soft blow job

Aye
John_D

[Artist]

John is that with the old teeth out? Sorry! Sorry! Back to the subject.

When I said blow job I meant a gentle blowing on and around the wet sticky area. Blow to hard and as Loz pointed out the paint will clog and you end up with lumps where you just don't need them.

Another way is to use these hand held devices, They take two AA batteries and are very good for long protracted phases of drying the area you wish to go over one more time.

I of course mean hand held fans. Sorry.

Artist

[John_D]

Steve
I think we had better change this subject before we lose
what the intentions of this topic was all about.

But I can understand why you do not paint live subjects
and how you ran over a dog.

Aye

John_D

[Artist]

Agreed john.

The tread sorry thread is veering off course as per usual. Only living things I don't paint are people. Lots of dogs/cats/horses/moo cows etc, etc,

Anyway the trunk is nearly done, just have to coat 3 layers of varnish over it. I think I will try your varnishing method whilst doing this. (thanks for the detailed instructions you posted previously)

Artist

[Pilgrim Norway]

Oh yes - You lot are pleasurable to read - a real comfort -

"Just nip down to the Pub as it's Sunday lunchtime" - Oh yes indeed -

Leave off about Pubs - my 'local' i.e. nearest establishment purveying beer and spirits would be about 65 k's from here...... and they're not open on Sundays anyway - a bit like Scotland in the days of yore - having to be a bonifide traveller...

AND we can only paint in June because of the temperature - when the snow melts .....

[Artist]

Pilgrim

Would have thought you'd
have your feet under the table at 40's mess by now.

Did try to paint in Norge one time. But the brushes kept freezing up.

Artist

[John_D]

Well Steve There has been a good responce to your paint drying.
does it make you feel better that you are not alone,
we have learnt a lot over the week end and I think all angles have been
covered, I dont think there is much more to be said [ or is there ]
only time will tell.

One question I would like to ask before we close.
Can paint be used as an Aphrodisiac?.

If the answer is yes then watching Paint dry could have a new meaning.

Aye

John_D

[Artist]

Yes John it can be.

Just depends on when and where you apply it.

Artist

[Lurchenstein]

I've observed that the oils tend to congeal (not unlike blood) as opposed to drying. Also, if applied too quickly, tend to "scab over" (must be the climate here or I'm an incompetent painter). Fortunately, a bit of dermabrasion restores the surface nicely.

[Archie]

It has come to my notice that while I wait for paint to dry here in Downunderland, the drips still go downwards just like they did in Engerland. As we are upside down, surely they should drip upwards. Can anyone explain this stange fenom, this pheno, this thing?

Ta muchly.

[John_D]

Archie
Thats a very good point, I don't really know the answer to that one
unless you are applying it upside down,

maybe there is someone out there who as the answer,

Steve
maybe if we apply it in Archie's " Downunderlands" it may work.

Lurchenstein,
I would not go as far as to say you were an incompetent Painter,
it may be the fact that because you are a novice, it is scabbing over
because you are just scratching the surface,

The answer to all our problems are out there some were,
surely some one has the answers.

Aye

John_D