im new!!

[tara]

Hello all, thank you all so much for your warm welcome that has been extended to me. Sorry i havent been able to reply earlier but have been on night duty and woe betide anyone caught fiddling about with Sisters computer!! Heard that she is prone to chopping fingers off, and im sure you'll all agree that a midwife with no fingers isnt particularly useful!! Dr Parry (or are you now a consultant??) i would be only too happy to help you out in any theoretical stuff that you might be having a problem with! Anyway thanks once again and if i can be of any use dont hesitate to ask!!

[dave barrett]

And I thought Mike's Carnal instructor Anthia was quite a girl...Tara you must be special offering help to some of the degenerates that frequent this Website...Wully is correct in saying it can be an intimidating place, but as my old drill instructor said..."Faint heart never asked a pig for a dance"....well that's close enough for public consumption, and I never did meet his wife!!
Regards,
Dave B.

[harry hackedoff]

Tara,
Parry`s defo a consultant.
He was consulting me as to what does "Pelvic Floor Exercise" mean

The look on his face when I showed him was priceless

Nursey grinned and said
" serves the Bastard right"
Aye Harry,

P.S. I managed to slip in the conversation that She Who Must Be Obeyed might like to peruse this site whilst Parry is sleeping off his "medication"
"Stand By, Stand By"

[El Prez]

Tara, I've had news back from the British Medical Council. Apparently cutting off the finger tips of my rubber gloves, in order to achieve that little personal touch, is an innovation and described by one expert in the field as being a major 'chuck up'; the spelling may be incorrect there.
Isn't it amazing that Harry and Tara return at the same time.
My cousin, Hilary, is a midwife in New Zealand, she once delivered a premature baby over the phone. Now that beats papering the hall through a letter box any day. Forceps anyone.

[Mike]

Ok Harry, have you passed over the International Date line?
Its got to be the only way that you could have learnt to do Pelvic floor exercises so fast, I too would have loved to see THE Consultant's face....... while running as fast as I could in the opposite dierction !
And Dave she's still a BITCH, it was real love, you know being a man of the world, the first was always the most intents, well for at least as long as the first date...

[El Prez]

Mike, the hotel H was in had these fantastic old style urinals, the sort where you are encased in porcelain from shoulders to feet. So the look in H's eyes was pure unadulterated curiosity and fear when I smacked the sides with my hand whilst simulating adjusting my dress. I'm sure I could have found the heads on my own!

Tara, quick technical question. These stirrup thingys, do you use handcuffs or just tights with yours, nurse reckons tie-wraps chafe somewhat? I remain, leering in perpetuity etc etc

[barryc]

You knoow when I started reading these threads I was convinced Rob Parry's stories of Nursey etc. were the result of a wonderful imagination. The more I read the less I think so and I am now sure he is a total nut. Must be the maddeningly hypnotic effect of the rotor blades passing through the Sunlight, sort of strobe effect, addles the mind. Two oppos were chopper pilots and they too are not really living in the same world as the rest of us. I suppose Parry will now produce a paper certifying as to his sanity or is it sanitary since his lecherous approaches to young Tara?

[Beast]

Just to say welcome aboard tara.
Or some will say welcome to the Mad House.
If you enjoy a laugh, you'll have no problems fitting in here, we're like one big happy family.

[owdun]

Harry met Parry,and promptly dropped him in the smelly stuff with nursey,

with friends like him,Rob,you need no other enemy.





Aye Owdun.

[harry hackedoff]

That`s not how you spell "Enema"

[El Prez]

Nurse, I say I said Nurse..........ahhh the tang of Dettol, the snap of elastoplast,.........she's nearby.

Actually Owdun the pair of us have just been rereading this thread/pulse of fun and curling up laughing. Glad to see Tara back on the scene, keep your hands off lads, I tell you she's mine, all mine, she's mine I tel.................................................nurse it's all going numb.............nur

[owdun]

Tell us what went numb,Rob,it could be that someone has a cure for it,

though if ,as I suspect,it's alcohol induced, there is little hope.

Hi nursey,thought you were a figment of Parry's raving imagination,how

the hell do you cope.



Aye Owdun.

[harry hackedoff]

Frank, she uses professional detachment to avoid becoming emotionaly involved, particularly with her "difficult" charges
Hello, Nursey you have my sympathy

[El Prez]

She reckons all this is due to my furtive, not fertile imagination. I roared laughing last night; I was tapping away at the keyboard, as you do, and suddenly she appeared at my shoulder, little blue tablet and glass of water in hand, muttering "it's time for your medication".

[Wully]

It goes without saying that we all enjoy the inane ramblings of Harry and Rob when they aren't drugged up with nurses medication but wouldn't be interesting to have some input from the nurses. If nothing else it would prove that these two are completely bonkers.