Page 11 of 18
Posted: Fri 12 Sep, 2003 10:26 am
by Archie
Good luck oh artistic one, and look on the bright side, should the operation fail, we still need a replacement for Jonathon Edwards in the triple jump.
Posted: Sat 13 Sep, 2003 12:58 pm
by ExCrabMate
Artist,
Don't forget to cancel your subscription to Farmers Weekly mate.
cheers
ExCrabMate
Posted: Tue 16 Sep, 2003 7:48 pm
by Mike
HOLD IT The bugger isn't going in now....He's just PM'd me..... Not a Happy little Bootie is our Steve.... If you've posted Not to worry he can take em in when he goes for definate.... at least he knows we all like to Pi** him off.....!
Oh by the way Steve this has nothing to do with you, Its another steve... I'm just using your thread so the other Steve won't know....Got It
Posted: Tue 16 Sep, 2003 8:00 pm
by Sisyphus
Bl***y typical. Mind you we shouldn't be surprised. You know what everyone says about Proctologists!!
Cheer up Artist. You'll only miss 'em when they've gone.
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 9:47 am
by Artist
Dear Sadistic Perverts
Should have gone in on the 22 Sept. Kin cancelled!
After a chat with the Doctor in person having got a letter telling me the Op was being put back for 6 weeks seems that I will be going to another hospital for the "Harvesting" A tear runs down both cheeks as I type this.
Kin NHS couldnt find its own Ar*e ifen it lost it.
Artist
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 9:58 am
by Dmanton300
Artist wrote:Dear Sadistic Perverts
Should have gone in on the 22 Sept. Kin cancelled!
After a chat with the Doctor in person having got a letter telling me the Op was being put back for 6 weeks seems that I will be going to another hospital for the "Harvesting" A tear runs down both cheeks as I type this.
Kin NHS couldnt find its own Ar*e ifen it lost it.
Artist
Un-friggin-believable. Mind you, having said that I don't know why I'm surprised, seems to be par for the course with the thing which passes for a health service these days. Their incompetence cost me £3500 earlier this year when I had to remortgage my house to pay for some surgery that I needed but was down their list of priorities. B******s!
All joking aside Artist, I hope this gets sorted soon, it's no fun and is a quality of life issue. Perhaps you need to find another group of Army wooperts to get you "as a handcart" at a riverside pub again?
Ease the pain a little!
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 10:26 am
by chunky from york
Artist.
As was pointed out to me by a nurse with a perfectly straight face, 'you are patients because you have to be patient'
Mind you it is different for the doctors.
Once checked in to Jimmy's in Leeds for an operation on my throat, to remove my parathyroids. After waiting for the best part of a year classed as 'urgent'. Rang at 6.00 am as requested to make sure they had a bed. Got there changed in my jim-jams (well it was a special occasion and I didn't think the nurses would appreciate my shreddies), filled all the paper work in, filled in the menu for meals, then told nil by mouth.
After half an hour was told 'sorry Michael the Surgeon is on holiday this week.'!
Everything re arranged for a month later, rolled up and told to get changed and into bed. Well says I 'first check the surgeons here' withering look from pretty teenage nurse as she flounced out. Came back, at least she looked embarrassed
when she told me 'sorry the surgeon is in London this week'
Got the surgery done after four month delay and three months later had to have it done again as he missed two of the buggers then just for the icing on the cake it got infected oh how I laughed.
Trouble was by then the excess calcium in my blood stream had been too high too long and the arteries and veins had hardened and narrowed . Now my legs are knackered and I can walk about 50 yards before they stop working.
Still its better than the alternative.
While I am confessing I will let you (and only you) into a secret, the anesthetic gave me constipation for about 10 days. Then when I started going about 4 or 5 times a day I ended up Piles ( can't spell hemorrhoids) not a lot of fun, but mine went down and back where they belong so I'm OK now, touch wood.
Don't let the NHS sausage machine wear you down.
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 10:46 am
by Artist
Chunky
When I was stuck in Stonehouse RNH laid on me back for 6 months, trussed up like a turkey I got constipation big time.
Anyway they put this plaster jacket on. (felt like a knight of old) Neck to hips. Walked like Robocop! And let me out into the big wide world.
Yours truly bimbled into the JJ Moore and downed a couple of there best bitters. All of a sudden felt the urge to sit on the pan.
I'm not kidding I must have sh*t for Britian! Was convinced at one stage I would need to flush the pan or I would have started rising up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 ref good dumps this one rated a 1,000! The only problem was the pills and things I had been taking resulted in me getting as high as a kite. Two pints and I was out of it. Woke up back in the bloody ward!
They escorted me home the next day in a Pussers ambulance instructing the wife (ex Naval Nurse) that I was not repeat not to imbibe. We all make mistakes as the Dalek said leaping off the dustbin. Bloody cheap run ashore mind!
Artist
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 11:28 am
by chunky from york
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 12:09 pm
by Artist
Chunky
Mine looked like a Quatermass experiment!
Some of me oppos did bring in some tinnys. They were kin empty! (barstewards they were)
Artist
Posted: Wed 17 Sep, 2003 8:40 pm
by Black Rat
Posted: Thu 25 Sep, 2003 11:35 am
by Artist
Sticky
"BEFORE THE NEW YEAR!" They are behaving themselves at the moment but the Germoliod tube is carried at all times.
Artist
Posted: Thu 25 Sep, 2003 5:28 pm
by harry hackedoff
Don`t worry mate, before too long you`ll be curling one down like this
www.ratemypoo.com/ratemy/poo?image=21209&pi=3.14
Spagheti is most excellant for the digestion, by the way
Bet you`re green with envy
Has anyone seen my cork
Aye, Harry
Posted: Sat 25 Oct, 2003 11:15 pm
by Artist
