Request For Poetry

[harry hackedoff]

The moon shone on the village pump,
It shone on Little Nell,
Was she pumping water?
Was she fugging hell!
She was w4nking off her lover,
The Captain of a lugger.
He wasn`t fit to shovel shit,
The dirty rotten bugger

[harry hackedoff]

In the street of a thousand arseholes
Near the sign of the Swinging Tit,
Who-flung-dung was murdered,
By his brother Who-flung-shit.

[KiwiBen]

Teehee, I shall pass those on to my grandfather! He will definately enjoy them

One I read by an RN EOD guy was something like this:

The waters cold at Fitziroy,
Cold as witches tits,
Death cold Damn cold,
It gave me the shits!

and another old one something like this:

The Captain of our little ship,
Had a pretty daughter,
and one day she slipped a foot,
then fell into the water,
her frightened squeals,
announced that Eels,
had found her sexual quarter!

All good fun chaps, any ditties and rhymes post em up!

Benjo

[Frank S.]

Le curé de Camaret a les couilles qui pendent
Le curé de Camaret a les couilles qui pendent
Et quand il s'assoit dessus
Ca lui rentre dans le cul
Il bande il bande il ban en de

Le curé de Camaret a un troupeau de vache
Le curé de Camaret a un troupeau de vache
Et comme il a pas d'taureau
C'est lui qui s'tape tout l'boulot
Quel homme quel homme quel ho o me

Sur la place du village ya la statue d'Hercule
Sur la place du village ya la statue d'Hercule
Et commme le maire et curé
Sont tous les deux des pd
L'enculent s'enculent l'encu u le

Jeunes filles de Camaret vous êtes toutes pucelles
Jeunes filles de Camaret vous êtes toutes pucelles
Et quand vous êtes dans mon lit,
Vous me touchez le kiki
Je bande je ban an de

Le curé de Camaret a acheté un âne,
Le curé de Camaret a acheté un âne,
Un âne républicain
Qui se tape toutes les putains
Quel âne, quel âne, quel âne

[KiwiBen]

........................................

I speak English....... like a lot of the world...

Um... translation?

Benjo

[harry hackedoff]

I too, parlez l`Anglais, mais je parle Francais un petit peu, aussi
As I read it, the priest of Camaret is very well endowed, owns a herd of cows and, since he has no bull, has to service them himself. That`s the clean version. Naughty Fernand, the real version contains far too much thuggery and buggery for my liking, and in the village square no less

[Frank S.]

And the price goes to..... [drumroll]

I too, parlez l`Anglais, mais je parle Francais un petit peu, aussi
As I read it, the priest of Camaret is very well endowed, owns a herd of cows and, since he has no bull, has to service them himself. That`s the clean version. Naughty Fernand, the real version contains far too much thuggery and buggery for my liking, and in the village square no less

Well done! I thought about posting a translation but Pious' my middle name...

[flighty]

'He wasn't fit to shovel shit from one place to another!'

Sid Vicious!

I have left strict instructions with my 'nearest and dearest,' (snort, as if I had any) that this is to be played at my funeral.

After, of course. the one and only Sid giving it rice with 'My Way!'

Regrets .... I've had a feeeew, but then again too feeeew toooo mention .....

Effin' magic!!

Jayne xx

[flighty]

Soz...... got me poetry and music threads muggled.

Ho, hum.

Nowt new there then for a Sunday.

Night all. x

Jayne zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[dalo]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Im a schizophrenic
And so am i.

By Dalo. lol

[KiwiBen]

Ok here's todays effort about yesterday.

Not military but at least it's about me (Tatatataaaaa! blowing of trumpets)


I came back from down the farm,
and in the chair I slumped,
my overalls a muddy brown,
my chainsaw very blunt

The firewood lies on the ground,
I need to go and stack it,
the rain is falling gently down,
I'll go get me a jacket

I sit here by the warm fireside,
yet it's running out of fuel,
the wind is picking up again,
how mid winter can be cruel!

By Benjo

[sneaky beaky]

How about the good old Eton boating song, as follows;

Jolly good boating weather
Let's go for a ride in my punt!
I don't want to go punting,
So you can stick your punt up your c**t
And we'll all pull together,
Our rowlocks between our knees
And we'll all pull together
And do as we fu****g well please

The sexual life of the camel
Is greater than anyone thinks
In the height of the mating season
He tries to get reived up the Sphinx
But the Sphinx's posterical orifice
Is clogged by the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.

I'm sure there are many more verses, that you guys can remember. Let's have them!!

Sneaky

[flighty]

Sneaky!!!!

I didn't know you knew such language!

I am disappointed in you.

Jayney xx

[Artist]

I feel strongly that Poems be they sad, melancholy or just plain daft should be written with feeling:

Forget about her cries of passion!
Just Whop up her Doggie fashion!

On a more serious note:

Said the General of the Army
I think that war is barmy
So he laid down his gun
And is having much more fun! (Spike Milligan)

Artist