Watching Paint Dry

[Sisyphus]

Piles replaced with false teeth. Now there's an interesting thought. Presumably uses a 'under-vehicle bombsearch mirror' to assist in cleaning?

OK the 'UVBS' is my name for it - but you get the drift?!

[Artist]

Ideal for Traction Sis

Gives you the edge when hanging of the ar*e end of a canal boat mate!

Artist

[harry hackedoff]

D`you know what, eh? D`you know what?
I`ll tell you what. Some of us are taking this thread to extremes aren`t we? And I mean the ones who know all about BB and why this thread was started in the first place
Two things, first thing

father-in-law raced pigeons

You didn`t say who won, T
Second thing

It`s a myth

No it farking isn`t. Called (I think) corrolis force, water draining into a plug hole in the Northern Hemisphere drains clockwise whilst here in the lucky country it drains anti-clock. Same same with the weather. Winds move the opposite way around high-pressure cells, which caused me no end of confusion as a practitioner of "Natural Navigation" as did the sun being due North at noon. Think about it.
Third thing, T man, if you live in a part of UK where those geezers come round the boozer doing the old alive alive-o routine, top tip is to buy a pot of cockles. Secrete one in yer gob and at an opportune moment go into a coughing fit. Seek out the posh tart and cough it up lad. Try and land it in her drink/lap/handbag/cleavage. Devise a points system for the above. Do try this at home
Frank, the Wet is now Mega cyclone is ripping houses off the streets of Port Headland and Tom Price as I type. It`s going to total Fitzroy Crossing and Parraburdoo in the morning but are the locals concerned? Are they worried? Are they bollocks.
They`re absolutely shite ing themselves
Specially since building and contents insurance is a sign of an effeminate upbringing( ooh, get her )
And you`re not correct in your assumption ref humidity.
I was talking about solvent based paints
Weem awrite are yoom awrite? Grite
`erry `eckedoff
Es enybodee seen awr Marleene?

[bootneck]

H, when i used to come home on leave, as soon as we went round the inlaw`s, Ron would ask if i`d got the car, I always fell for it and answered yes, lets get this basket of pigeons in then otherwise you`ll be late I`ll be late for what, you`ve got to be down in leicester to let them out at "Whatever time it was" and not any sooner or later, they always beat me back, 30 odd mile each way, and you get beat by a pigeon. I let them out about 20 mins late once, (traffic jams)and when i eventually got back, there they all were, necked, dead hanging upside down on the dhobi line. thought that as they were well past their usual times, they were past it, so he necked them. didn`t have the heart to tell him why they were late.

[Artist]

I wonder what would happen if you released an entire lorry load of homing pigeons directly underneath a Power line?

Instant pigeon fricasay? Roasted to a turn.

Just a thought thats all.

Artist

[bootneck]

apparently, when they hit the power line, they cook from the inside outwards, but I`m sure I`ll be corrected by, "arselow saxnob"

[Artist]

THATS what I forgot to do. Cook the bloody Squirrel!
Next time HE, HE, HE, I'll ave it!

Artist

[Lurchenstein]

Artist, did you try to paint Mr Squirrel (and p!ss 'im off)?
(Paint- wasn't that what this thread was about, or am I simply an inflexible barsteward?)

[we11er]

It`s a myth

No it farking isn`t. Called (I think) corrolis force

Well, I've heard the water in a sink thing is a myth, but then again, who really gives a shite unless you've seen it? I guess noone at the end of the day, so it's still a mystery. Anyway, time for bed, by far .

[El Prez]

Coreolis effect. Force applied due to the Earth's rotational force. Causes clockwise rotation North of the equator and counter clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere. (High and low pressures are affected the same way, the souhtern lot rotate in the opposite direction to ours.) Near the equator it can go up or down as will your pension/mortgage and any cash in your pocket.
I rest my tired mind.

[Mike]

Coriolis effect....
Oh Wise and Patronising one!! course it does...!!
If you look at a spinning from the top that is spinning in a clockwise direction then look at the same ball from the underside without stopping the spin.....It will be going in an ANTIcockwise direction!.... Thats the spinning Ball effect....Eh
Aye

[reeves]

i find badgers are quite nice to eat,if you can catch one though-there secretive buggers, you've got to get up early and be prepared for a fight ,there not easy to drag backwards out of there holes, i usually find that sprinkling jaffa cakes round the entrance to there lair helps to lure them out.

[Artist]

reeves

I thought I was bad ref squirrels. Keep up the good work that man!

All I know is that leetle Doggies run like hell when they see the Artsmobile.

Artist