Lovats

[Artist]

Blimey!

I thought I was old but you lot are kin really really old!

You beggers get any more laid back you will all sprain your necks! (along with other bits of your bodies!)

Sisyphus see you in the Vine Nantwich, you terrible Ex sigs that you are! (you can buy the first six rounds, I'll hold your walking stick! and your wallet) Nice to have a laugh, I kin need it.

Artist

[Sticky Blue]

reveille, Markers,Officers call,Cookhouse,defaulters,Mail,alarm to arms,clear lower deck,and then my favourite finished for the day and not forgetting lights out and maybe a few other calls I've missed.

Reveille, Cookhouse, Sick parade, half hour warning for parade (1 G shit sleeves, 2 G's great coats, 3 G's waterproof capes), Quarter call, Guard and Band, NCO's and Markers, Fall in, Officers Call, (perhaps a fanfare if it is a ceremonial parade), School call, Mail call, Stand Easy, Cease fire out pipes, carry on, Cook house, Fall in, Defaulters, Parade for guard, fire call, Dismiss, Piquet, Libertymen, Sunset, Lights out! Just to name a few. Sadly the barracks routine of calls has now ceased but the are still there just incase. Not forgetting the tousands of Alerts at the main gate for visitors and officer's dinner calls... oh the joys of being duty bugler!!!
I've still got my DMS boots and puttees in the loft, somewhere with my white PT kit, pusser's vests and pants.

[Sisyphus]

Artist

We have friends in Nantwich we visit every 4-5 months for an 'overnighter' I might pop into the Vine and see if I can spot you next time we're there!

But please don't wear the red dress; it will only get my blood pressure into the danger zone

[Artist]

OK, I'll wear the off the shoulder £60 one the Mk3 bought. (DPM pattern evening dress don't cher know? O and me ski march boots, complete with cat poo in the insteps)

Ref SV Boots. The nearest I ever got to a pair was when my troop stripey in A coy 40CDO threatened to insert one into a region of my anatomy if I cocked up again! He was a one I tell yer. ("Evans if you ever do that again I'll shove my SV boot so far up yer arse you'll be choking on me bleeding toecap! My but he had a way with words so he did) Where are you now Fred? Cyprus 74.

Artist

[SMOKING]

Artist
You must have cocked up again.......
Hence your recent medical problems.

S.V. Boot

[Artist]

Smoking

Intresting thought............no it isn't! YUK.


Artist

[Rotary Booty]

Anyone remember what this thread was about?

[Andy O'Pray]

Derek,

Rather than admit they were wrong, they have decided to take the thread off in a tangent.

Aye - Andy.

[owdun]

Derek, you usually find these rambling threads are the most interesting, and do have a faint relationship to the original. Think how short a run Lovats would have on its own.


Aye Owdun.

[Andy O'Pray]

But surely Frank, we seem to be back into Artist's anal problems.

Aye - Andy.

[chunky from york]

Thats because everyone and I do mean EVERYONE is fascinated by Artists bum.

[Mike]

What Lovats and Artist's Arse have to do with each other makes my mind boggle...
Except at one time or other he must have placed said portion of his anatomy into the lower half of the other!
As I have already said on these same pages... It only goes to prove that Royal is Anally Retentive?
Again it was stated here, that should the gentleman's posterior be cured of its problem in the near future, this forum might, just might lose its sense of direction.
May I humbly suggest that prior to this happen we use one of Dereks tangents and continue the topic on other facets of that part of the body. Perhaps on the subject of Rear end Acne, the slackening of the Anal muscle, the multitude of uses for the Glutinous Maximus to name but a few
I remain Intrigued
Aye

[Artist]

I didn't start talking about me little problem!

It were you sadistic perverts wot started it! They are behaving themselves at the min anyway and will soon be GONE!

My Mk1 daughter is married to a Lovat. He works for the post office name of Chris. (no relation to the Lord Lovat so no dosh!)

There back on the thread! (ish)

So you lot stop pickin on Oiie you big bullies.

Artist

[Andy O'Pray]

Good morning shipmates,

At least it is morning in this part of the world. I knew that as soon as we started talking about assholes it would rejuvinate the thread. Keep up the good work.

Aye - Andy.

[Artist]

I do remember one idiot who couldnt afford to dry clean his lovats. He thought that washing them in a mixture of Dhobi dust. Various varieties (whatever he could get out of the washing machines filler thingy) and other bits of vaguely cleaning orientated powders.

The method was to fill a bath, chuck in the various powders then the lovats.
Climb into bath and walk up and down on said lovats for half an hour and clean them that way. It did not work. The one thing he forgot to wash was the belt. That was the only part of the suit that was still lovat coloured. They looked "different" to say the least. Would have gone down well with any Hippy. Even the dark buttons changed colour. Best of all the GSM ribbon run all over the place! All this was done to save a couple of quid! I think his new suit cost £35. Plus the fine he got. total £135. (KUA them days Sticky)

No one could give a toss as he was not well liked in HQ and SIGS. ("Can I borrow your Lovats mate?" reply; "Fu*k Off numbnuts") Unfortunately he did not wear them on the parade as he showed them to the SSM the day before the parade. (wish he had. because they looked really "different" when he tried them on)

He reminded me a wee bit of a headless chicken once they had dried and...shrunk!