Share This Page:
a little joke
-
Guest
- Guest
-
Doc
- Guest
-
Bliartheliar
- Guest
Three lesbain school friends meet up at thier college 10 year reunion. Each of them is going through a hard time financially so they decide to go into business together and open a club in the gay district.
So they go and buy the land and hire all the workers and everything to build the club. 6 months later the club is finished and the interior has been decked out. However, they cant think of a name, so go ahead with the opening night without the club having a name.
Sot there they are, the three of them sitting there having a few drinks with firends when one asks 'why hasnt the club got a name?'.
'Well, we wanted to call it GaysRUs, but thats already been taken, and we cant think of anything else.'
'How about The Three Lesbians' asks another of thier friends. 'It fits in perfecntly with the area and will guarantee customers, gay and straight alike'.
'We thought bout that', replies one of the other blondes. 'But theres only two of us!'
Ill get me coat and f@#k off
So they go and buy the land and hire all the workers and everything to build the club. 6 months later the club is finished and the interior has been decked out. However, they cant think of a name, so go ahead with the opening night without the club having a name.
Sot there they are, the three of them sitting there having a few drinks with firends when one asks 'why hasnt the club got a name?'.
'Well, we wanted to call it GaysRUs, but thats already been taken, and we cant think of anything else.'
'How about The Three Lesbians' asks another of thier friends. 'It fits in perfecntly with the area and will guarantee customers, gay and straight alike'.
'We thought bout that', replies one of the other blondes. 'But theres only two of us!'
Ill get me coat and f@#k off
-
Bliartheliar
- Guest
While fishing in the channel, a devout catholic's boat capsizes leaving him wading in freezing cold water.
A boat passes and offers him help, but the catholic waves it away and says 'dont worry, god will save me.'
5minutes later another boat passes and is about to help when the man again waves it away shouting 'dont worry, god will save me.'
Another 5minutes go by and then a helicopter comes, and lowers the man a rope. But again he declines the help and shouts 'dont worry God will save me'.
2 minutes later, the man is overcome by the cold water and drowns. At the entrance to heaven, St Peter greets the man.
'Why didnt God save me?' asks the devout christian.
St Peter shouts, 'He sent two boats and a helicopter for christ's sake, what else did you want him to do?'
A boat passes and offers him help, but the catholic waves it away and says 'dont worry, god will save me.'
5minutes later another boat passes and is about to help when the man again waves it away shouting 'dont worry, god will save me.'
Another 5minutes go by and then a helicopter comes, and lowers the man a rope. But again he declines the help and shouts 'dont worry God will save me'.
2 minutes later, the man is overcome by the cold water and drowns. At the entrance to heaven, St Peter greets the man.
'Why didnt God save me?' asks the devout christian.
St Peter shouts, 'He sent two boats and a helicopter for christ's sake, what else did you want him to do?'
A little DIT sent to me today by a Colored Mucker of mine, didnt know where to put it, thought here would be ok.
When I born, I black,
when I grow up, I black,
when I go in sun, I black,
when I cold, I black,
when I scared, I black,
when I sick, I black,
and when I die, I still black.
You white folks....
when you born, you pink,
when you grow up, you white,
when you go in sun, you red,
when you cold, you blue,
when you scared, you yellow,
when you sick, you green,
when you bruised, you purple,
and when you die, you gray.
So who you callin' colored folks ?
JWT
When I born, I black,
when I grow up, I black,
when I go in sun, I black,
when I cold, I black,
when I scared, I black,
when I sick, I black,
and when I die, I still black.
You white folks....
when you born, you pink,
when you grow up, you white,
when you go in sun, you red,
when you cold, you blue,
when you scared, you yellow,
when you sick, you green,
when you bruised, you purple,
and when you die, you gray.
So who you callin' colored folks ?
JWT
-
Artist
- Guest
Years ago this Gaybar was raided by the cops.
All the whoofters were caught bar one. This 6' 4" copper grabs the missing Whoofters "chum" and growls: "When I find your mate I'm gonna shove this truncheon right up his........................When all of a sudden this little voice pipes up:
"CooEee! I'm in the Dustbin!"
Coat. Get.
Artist
All the whoofters were caught bar one. This 6' 4" copper grabs the missing Whoofters "chum" and growls: "When I find your mate I'm gonna shove this truncheon right up his........................When all of a sudden this little voice pipes up:
"CooEee! I'm in the Dustbin!"
Coat. Get.
Artist
-
jockladfaejockland
- Member
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Fri 27 May, 2005 10:58 am
- Location: The sunny city of Dundee
- Contact:
Three lads in a bar (all the great jokes start with that!) an irish man an english man and a jock the irish man has a gammy leg so as he waddles up to the bar and orders a drink he says to the bar man "is that jesus christ at the end of the bar?" "aye" says the bar man "get him a drink on me then" says the irish lad. the english lad goes up next with a hump on his back so he waddles up to the bar and orders a drink and says to the bar man "is that jesus christ at the end of the bar?" "aye" says the bar man "well get him a drink on me then" says the english lad. The jock walks up to the bar claiming a bad back and orders a drink he says to the bar man "is that jesus christ at the end of the bar?" "aye" "well get him a drink from me then" says the jock lad. jesus gets up and goes to the irsh man touches his leg and says "you are healed" up jumps the lad who does a jig out of the bar. he then goes to the english lad touches his back and says "you are healed" the lad stands up straight and back flips out the bar he the goes to touch the jock who says "Ho big man, dinnae touch me I'm on disability!" chuckle chuckle and exit stage left.
Nobbys the name Minehunting the game.
I'll get me coat...
I'll get me coat...
-
Bliartheliar
- Guest
Three blondes get stranded on an island after thier boat capsizes.
The three of them go exploring one day, but cant think of a way to get off the island. However, they find a lamp lying on the beach.
One of the blondes picks it up and gives it a rub. A genie pops out and thanks the blondes for freeing him.
"As a reward", he says. "Ill give each of you a wish".
The first blonde steps forward and says "can you make me 10 times more inteligent so that I can find a way of this island?"
The blonde gets turned into a golden retriever and she jumps into the sea and starts to swim away to the mainland. However, 100m off the beach the current carries her away and she drowns.
The second blonde steps forward and asks "can you mak me 100 times more intelligent so that I can find a way off this island?"
The blonde is turned into a brunette, and she goes away and cuts down a tree. She carves it into a boat and makes a canvas for the sail. She then sails off towards the mainland. However, 200m off the beach the boat sinks and she drowns.
The third blonde steps forwards and asks 'can you make me 1000 times more intelligent so that I can find a way to get off this island?'
The genie says 'sure thing', turns the blonde into a man and he crosses the bridge.
------------------------------------
No offense intended
Why did so many African American soldiers die during the Vietnam war?
Because when anybody shouted GET DOWN!, they all stood up and started dancing.
The three of them go exploring one day, but cant think of a way to get off the island. However, they find a lamp lying on the beach.
One of the blondes picks it up and gives it a rub. A genie pops out and thanks the blondes for freeing him.
"As a reward", he says. "Ill give each of you a wish".
The first blonde steps forward and says "can you make me 10 times more inteligent so that I can find a way of this island?"
The blonde gets turned into a golden retriever and she jumps into the sea and starts to swim away to the mainland. However, 100m off the beach the current carries her away and she drowns.
The second blonde steps forward and asks "can you mak me 100 times more intelligent so that I can find a way off this island?"
The blonde is turned into a brunette, and she goes away and cuts down a tree. She carves it into a boat and makes a canvas for the sail. She then sails off towards the mainland. However, 200m off the beach the boat sinks and she drowns.
The third blonde steps forwards and asks 'can you make me 1000 times more intelligent so that I can find a way to get off this island?'
The genie says 'sure thing', turns the blonde into a man and he crosses the bridge.
------------------------------------
No offense intended
Why did so many African American soldiers die during the Vietnam war?
Because when anybody shouted GET DOWN!, they all stood up and started dancing.
