Combat Medics in the Marines (searched but to no avail)

[Artist]

Doc

Once in Sardinia I got Sand Fly fever and was rushed into some WOP hospital. Out of it for about four days. I gets this visit from this LMA whom I knew quite well as he had married my Better halfs Oppo.

He was a fair to middleing MA but a bit boring and very apt to bite. As it was he was dressed in Number Six Trousers and had visited the Heads and a Ickle bit of Wee had come though onto his Trollies. I pointed out to him the stain. "Stop pointing at it!" He yelled at me.

Kiss of death that was! There I was shouting at the top of my voice "He'em Pissed himself everybody, look!" Now the Nurses didnt speak English but they soon got the gist of what I was on about. Kinnel did he go RED!!! He hated it when he had to come round to our Married Quarter as I would Smile and ask him if he had got over his incontinence problems yet!!!

Artist

[Doc]

denims were the worst things for "leakage post dribble", many a day I would have to do sick parade in my parasmock so as to cover that darkened patch near the zip worse ones have to be when your minging and walking from the heads to the bar and Royal in his subtle way shouts "For farks sake Doc, shake the farker before putting it away!"

I got pinged walking into camp from ashore one morning after trapping, main gate sentry shouts for a medic! I inform him I am a medic and whats the problem? Your cock has been cut off Doc he says!
Alway remove jeans to knees when shagging a Plymouth bird at a certain time of the month! Blood everywhere! At least it proved I got my leg over

[Artist]

Thats it Doc!

From now on Oppo your name is WINGS!!!!

Once went on a runashore with some Oppos and was to puddled to make it home. So me Oppo who was sharing a flat with a couple of other guys let me spend the night. I woke next morning covered in Blood, Snott, the bloody lot! It turned out that the Pit I zonked in that night had had a lady suffering from the "Wrong Time of the Month" problem the previous night.

I walked into the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! and the lads howled with laughter at the state I was in! Bassas!

Artist

[druadan]

At the moment the waiting list for Cdo MAs (as in from the Corps, rather than Cdo trained matelots) is around 64 blokes long. They need 2 this year. Based on those figures, you're not gonna get trained as an MA til after you've retired. So if that's what you want to do you're probably better going through the Navy.

[voodoo sprout]

At the moment, there's a fairly confused picture going on with MA's. The RMMA branch is currently quite strong, though there aren't many places and as said, the waiting list is massive. However if you do things the Navy way, the road is a little more reliable; you join as an MA, and from there you do 39 weeks of medical training followed by a 4 month final placement, thereafter you can get posted straight to an RM unit as a sickbay MA though to serve in the field with a company you do have to complete the 6 week military awareness course. However, such is the shortage at the moment, not all company MA's are commando trained, I know of a few blue lid MA's serving with companies, and even these can be in short supply such is the lack of volunteers to get cold and muddy .
The wait for an MA to do the AACC is about a year plus at the moment, though as far as I'm aware that's not due to being overbooked, rather they don't like people getting the green lid without sound experience as a general service MA first.

All MA training is now done in the greena nd pleasant land of Aldershot (ho ho ho!), though there is a lot of time spent on placements with 3 weeks in a sickbay (I spent mine at a commando unit as it happens), and 16 weeks in hospital (either Derriford hospital in Guz or Haslar hospital in Pompey), and odd jaunts here and there on the side.

Any other questions about MA's, please ask (they actually went and released me on leave for a few weeks so I might visit more than once every few months now ).

[Doc]

Thanks for helping out Voodoo. How far you from qualifing now bud? I didnt do Aldershot, I was trained at Haslar so its good for the guys to have a more upto date source of info. Fark me I did Nelsons Pulheems when he was a midshipman!

Do you still wear them little brown tabs on your shoulders in training? farking things are minging!

If you want any tips for post training medic life give us a shout bud.

[voodoo sprout]

Hi Doc, nice to see you're still around . At the moment I've just finished the 20 week tri service phase ready to start the Navy specific training when I get back; the way it works now is that the basic medical practice is common to all three services, and the more specialised service training comes afterwards; the army do 7 weeks of putting up tents and lugging stretchers around, the riff-RAF do 9 weeks of admin, and we get 19 weeks of medical training. Okay so maybe that's not 100& accurate, but it's close enough .

We still wear the brown tabs while on hospital placements, but the best part is during the 20 week phase to separate the courses each ahs it's own colour, red, blue, orange (poor sods), green and so on. We dipped in having bright yellow strips, which when put over the "Royal Navy" lettering on your epaulette look uncannily like gold rank strips; we even managed to get other courses to salute us a few times before they realised .

[Bliartheliar]

Thanks for all the information lads. Thats far more than I expected.

My ambition is to become a Royal, so I dont think the RNMA and AACC route is one that I would choose. However I would be interested to become a MA later on. Its one of those things that I would like to do, but its not on the top of my list.

Thanks again