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Artist and his Daughters. (a stirring saga of I said NO!)

General discussions on joining & training in the Royal Marines.
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Post by Artist »

Well the weekend went as per plan ZERO.

The buggers all sodded off and stayed with friends. :D

So had all day Sunday to myself, Got all the stuff I have to do for various people and proceded to use the dinning table as a workplace.

Rucks of Flatirons and the like all tastefully painted with Roses and Castles. Unfortunately also painted the table and the carpet. DEEP SH*T unless I can remove the stuff from the stuff.

MK4 came home about 1900hrs and took one look and one smell and told me "I'm telling Mum!" (Bloody little Swine!) Pointed out that this would result in her having to walk nearly two miles there and two miles back each day to school. This seems to have had the desired effect.

As the stuff I use is water based have been removing it with various combinations of cleaner and sharp knives. Table now fine and even has had two coats of Bartop varnish which will cheer the wife up as she has been moaning about the state of the table for Yonks.

The carpets proving a tad trickier but is just about back to it's original condition. This has cost me a days work but the Gypsy Caravan people in Chester said no wukking furries and I will now be starting the work for them a day late.

MK2 came in Late Monday Morning and rushed out of the house at 0830hrs late for work so she aint seen it. So, if the MK4 keeps STUM I have high hopes of getting away with it. :oops: Blackmail.............nasty thing so it is. :D

The cats owing to their desperate requirement for Food have Bitten the Bullet and come into the house. The scratches are healing well and worms are now a thing of the past. Ditto fleas.

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Post by Artist »

Dear English Rose

No way, No How. :D

Cats are sulking bigtime down the bottom of the garden.

Only problem is/was the better half coming home two days earlier than she should have! :o

Carpet is PROPER! In fact it was mentioned that it's cleaner than it was prior to her leaving..................Ooooooo thank God I didnt leave it till Tuesday. More Jam than Hartleys or what?

Cats are coping..............Just. (you can see them in the back garden shi**ing for Britain!) Wife however did ask why they were so subdued. Suggested it may have summut to do with the change in the weather as in colder. Hope and Pray, Hope and Pray.

Mk4 threatened the Artist with various stuff but the 2 miles there and the two miles back is at this time prevailing! Sodding Kids!

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Gronkette
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Boys and Girls

Post by Gronkette »

Been reading the thread and it seems that theres alot of daughters out there.
Apparently strong men have daughters more then sons, possibily to even out the gene pool. This would mean RM's having more then most female offspring.
Apparently.
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Post by Poony »

lol superb! :)
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Post by Artist »

Mark three brought her new Boyfriend home Tuesday.................Name of Scott. Artist's Heart rate went off the scale! He'em nice enough but Mark Three is 18. Yon Scott is 27! Mrs Artist gave Me the "LOOK" so was as polite as I could be. (all fathers of Females over 16 years of age will know just what I mean ref the LOOK)

He'em a snivelling little Beggar mind. Kept telling me how talented I was ref me Pictures. (as I aint got any hanging up I can only assume he has been Prepped and Primed by the Mk3. Who was given the Gen by the Mk1 and 2 on how to butter up the Old Sod!) All I kept thinking was "CHILD SNATCHER!" But the LOOK from Mrs Artist kept me from saying anything out of turn.

He'em got a nice job in Putors so he says. (why do all my daughters end up with Putor wizzkids?

Mark One is Married to one.
Mark Two is living with one.
Mark Three had best be not living with one!
Mark Four had best wait a few years.

He'em also dead keen to update me putor with freebies mind! :D (Snivelling etc, etc,) But as it's free said to him to "Fill his Boots" which confused the Hell out of him.

This was what the others did when they first met me. I reckon the little beggars have been belling each other on how to get round Daddy!

Daughters + Boyfriend/Husband with freebies for putor = Happy Artist seems to be the way. Have dropped a hint that a nice new Scanner would not come amiss! :D As in: "Can you get me a nice shiny new Scanner for free then Scott?" The fool said "No problems Mr Artist"

When I met the wife and went up to Leeds to meet the Out Laws all I could offer her Father was a few pints and a few tales about what the normal Bootneck Runashore was like. (It worked, me and the F in L were bessie Oppos until he popped his clogs about 7 years ago)

Just wish the Mark Three had joined the RAF as she intended doing but alas was not to be. Scott is also a DJ doing the circuit of the Northwestern nightclubs. Apparently he earns a Ruck doing this. I declined his offer of a free pass to his next rave, saying I would not want to offend anyone as the only dance steps I know are: The Twist and the Funkey Chicken! O and the "Combine Harvester" invented many Moons ago in The Royal Marines School of Dancing (Cascades) when the Wurzels had their hit Combine Harvester. (Beer/Scrumpy and Snips will cause this to happen! :D )

He'em also going to fit a nice CD/Radio/cassette player in the Artmobile this Friday! My but he could snivel for Britain! Turns out that his Daddy owns a Car Showroom in a place called Winsford. So Good Ole Scott is going to get me a JVC multi thingie. Snivelling? He's made it into an ARTFORM.

Scotts agreed to come out and have a few wets with me and the MK1 and Mk2's better halfs this Sunday in the village Social Club. CACKLE! CACKLE! Have informed a couple of drinking Oppos and advised them to leave their Dosh at home. Hope he likes drinking Pussers Rum. Because once he's had a couple I hope to find out what the "REAL" Scott is like. It worked with the first two! :D :D who are looking forward to watching me "Be Nice" with Scott.

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Post by Poony »

:lol: again.

Please report back on the "being nice to scott" in full.
oh I cant wait! for the next installment from ya...
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Post by Artist »

A fair few people have asked me to continue the SAGA so I will.

Hope Scott likes a good DTS! :D SNEEE! SNEE! SNEE! CACKLE! CACKLE!

O how I just love the Joy of Parenting. Well............It's a Hobby of sorts innit? :D

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Post by Artist »

Grill Him!

Intend to Roast the Sod if I think for one instant he's only after one thing dear Mr Stix. :D

Beware the ides of March. But best beware of the Artist in October if your telling "Porkies". :evil:

As the better half said to me: "Steve have a little faith in your daughter, please Love". I have, it's the Sods who come sniffing around her I have no faith in. Was no Angel when younger so am in the "Watch and Shoot" mode at this time.

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Post by Grimey Vibes »

This is great, never knew how interesting it could be to read about someone else's life. Looking forward to the bootneck way of determining how good a fella is for their daughter.

Keep It Up!!
Get on "PARADE"

"You drill like a bad hip-hop artist, MC Miss A Beat"
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Post by Artist »

Grimey

It's dead simple really. Get em P*ssed out of their heads then..........GO FOR THE JUGULAR! Pussers Rum is like truth serum you see. It confuses the unsuspecting and then you can find out what they are really like.

It worked with the first two. Thats why they are looking forward to Sunday! :D

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Post by Artist »

This Scott bloke aint making any friends at the moment.

Their I was Friday waiting for him. And waiting, and waiting.
Belled the MK3 to find out what the score was on her mobile. Was informed that Scott could not make it owing to work. (the background to the phone sounded "just like a Pub")

Scotts voice was heard in the background. Am now wondering if he is worth some Pussers Rum to be honest. Any Ex Sigs got any Ormig juice they could get to my Gaff before 1500hrs today?

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