Chat up lines... that don't work!

zero megahertz · Post by **zero megahertz** » Tue 04 May, 2004 10:02 pm

"That skirt looks great on you, but it would look better on my bedroom floor"

"excuse me have you got any chewing gum?"
"No, but i wash my d!ck with peppermint shower gel!"

BigDanny · Post by **BigDanny** » Fri 07 May, 2004 1:03 pm

Worst - What has two thumbs up, speaks french and loves blowjobs?
(at this point stick ur thumbs up towards yourself and say "moi"

Best - F*ck me if im wrong, but is your name gurtrude?

RobT · Post by **RobT** » Fri 07 May, 2004 1:33 pm

I've heard my mate tell a nice looking female that he eats babies....

Didn't go down too well.

saffer · Post by **saffer** » Fri 07 May, 2004 4:05 pm

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk past again?"

"Bond, James Bond"

Scene 1 ...
"You must be really tired"
"what?"
"you must be tired because you have been running around in my drams all night!"
"F*CK OFF YOU LOSER"
"OK"

Scene 2....
See scene 1, different lady!
Repeat untill a drunken girl falls on your balls!

Scottish Thistle · Post by **Scottish Thistle** » Fri 07 May, 2004 8:21 pm

F*ck me if im wrong, but is your name gurtrude?

Took me a second but I love it!

Kanadiana · Post by **Kanadiana** » Fri 07 May, 2004 9:33 pm

My wife does understand me.

reply ... Oh, whats her phone number? Maybe I can mediate?"

Liver · Post by **Liver** » Sun 09 May, 2004 1:47 pm

How bout the old clasic - sit on my lap and well talk about the first thing that pops up?

AC · Post by AC » Sun 09 May, 2004 2:14 pm

Try this one:

"The names Bond..." to which she will probably reply something along the lines of: "Let me guess, James Bond". Now, time to go in for the kill by saying: "Nope, Uni Bond, i'm here to fill your crack!"

Kanadiana · Post by **Kanadiana** » Tue 11 May, 2004 1:40 am

AC wrote:Try this one:

"The names Bond..." to which she will probably reply something along the lines of: "Let me guess, James Bond". Now, time to go in for the kill by saying: "Nope, Uni Bond, i'm here to fill your crack!"

ooooh thats really bad there bud

Gary_amsterdam · Post by **Gary_amsterdam** » Tue 11 May, 2004 2:02 am

Kanadiana · Post by **Kanadiana** » Tue 11 May, 2004 5:02 am

Gary_amsterdam wrote:

Oh gawd... men!

Jon · Post by **Jon** » Tue 11 May, 2004 9:55 am

"Girl, if God made anything finer than you I hoped he kept it for himself."

Jagger · Post by **Jagger** » Fri 14 May, 2004 7:48 am

"Hi, is your name Gillette??"
-"No, why?"
"You're the best a man can get"

ono_doken · Post by **ono_doken** » Tue 18 May, 2004 1:22 pm

no word of a lie on this one (its absolutyly terrible!!!), around crimbo time we went out round sunny old halifax! we heads into this club called No.15 and by this time were trollied after taking the p1ss drinking champers all night (ahhh so many stories about that night hehe), anywayz this bird walks in (i say bird i actually mean munter eheh i'm not even sure it was human!!! hehe) thick south african accent so i walks up and go "Welcome to England" -unfortutnaly she liked it, i was too drunk to know what was going on............ to this day our kid and the other bouncers have not let me forget about it! hahahaha......

-hell even munters need loving too! hehehe ... but whys it always me thats so generous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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