Spitz,
You got it, I just got to do my patriotic duty from time to time. The story wasn't funny to me, I mean it was dull as far as humor in my opinion.
If you want to hear some stories about dumb military officers that are funny ask me or nbforrest. One time our Bn Commander pissed his pants and tried to act like it didn't happen. We had a Sgt. who fornicated with his rifle infront of people, and a troglodite medic that shite her pants on a long run. That was funny, and true btw.
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Arrogant Yanks
That’s not funny, it’s tragic.One time our Bn Commander pissed his pants and tried to act like it didn't happen. We had a Sgt. who fornicated with his rifle infront of people, and a troglodite medic that shite her pants on a long run. That was funny, and true btw.
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
You should have seen the fat pig medic run two miles back to the unit with diarrhea running down her leg while passing a Regiment sized pt formation of all men. Ask nbforrest, true story. Yep and our Col. came out of the piss room and on his crotch and down his leg was a dig piss stain, I was laughing and he asked me what my problem was knowing good well I was laughing at him in his piss drenched uniform. We had a guy in the field who'd break his rifle over, insert rag and go to town. It was one hell of a unit.
Let them call me a rebel and I welcome it, I feel no concern from it; but I should suffer the misery of demons were I to make a whore of my soul. (Thomas Paine)
Whitey his slong about 5.56 ?
Cheers Ben, Oh and by the way while I don't belive the story, part of the explanation doesn't work.
Cheers Ben, Oh and by the way while I don't belive the story, part of the explanation doesn't work.
It wasn't the US coast line it was Canadas.Of the many flaws in the recent version, the most glaring is that there is no longer a radio crew - or any crew, for that matter - on any lighthouse on the U.S. coastline. The last one was automated 10 years ago, said Lt. j.g. Ed Westfall, the lighthouse program manager for the U.S. Coast Guard's Fifth District, based in Portsmouth.
If a man has nothing he is willing to die for then he isn't fit to live.
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harry hackedoff
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Mr O`Pray, voice of reason there, as usual.
Whitey, your Sgt`s name obviously wasn`t Oscar Meyer
The lighthouse gag has been on here at least three times, btw.
On another topic you said summat along the lines of we(i.e. UK) are where the US is headed. Does that mean Dubya is going to turn into an old queen
Kin hope so mate
Whitey, your Sgt`s name obviously wasn`t Oscar Meyer
The lighthouse gag has been on here at least three times, btw.
On another topic you said summat along the lines of we(i.e. UK) are where the US is headed. Does that mean Dubya is going to turn into an old queen
Kin hope so mate
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The Sgt. would break his rifle over, take out the bolt carrier group, insert rag or bag or sock ect. and bang away. Ask Nbforrest he was the Platoon Sgt. and Clay worked for him. Our Col. pissed himself and acted like we imagined it. Our 1st Sgt was a midget, who pulled threesome off the net.
We had an ass clown Ssg. named P-tirle who, well ask nbforrest. We had a soldier shit her pants running, it was like MASH.
We had an ass clown Ssg. named P-tirle who, well ask nbforrest. We had a soldier shit her pants running, it was like MASH.
Let them call me a rebel and I welcome it, I feel no concern from it; but I should suffer the misery of demons were I to make a whore of my soul. (Thomas Paine)
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Artist
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SSGT M******a USMC.
His arrogance broke all bounds, unfortunately this bloke was a right Tock H Lamp. Attached to the RM's He was scary for all the wrong reasons.
When doing his driving course in a pussers LR was told to go over the roundabout at the bottom of Forder valley hill, Guz. He did! right over it.
Our SSGT we soon discovered was not blessed with much imagination or common dog.
He nearly blew himself up when he connected a ruck of 12 volt batteries in not quite the right sequence.
Parked his very smooth looking giant pickup truck in the OC's parking spot. Nearly every day he was with us. OC got a wee bit shirty about this.
One Ex on Dartmoor he knocked himself out whilst banging in the Earthing spike!
He was likened to an accident that was bound to happen. Lasted 4 days on the AACC and then he was sent back over the water.
His replacement was one of the best blokes I have ever worked with. Dedicated, proffesional, a real Gentleman, in fact what you expect from the USMC, a damn good soldier.
Artist
His arrogance broke all bounds, unfortunately this bloke was a right Tock H Lamp. Attached to the RM's He was scary for all the wrong reasons.
When doing his driving course in a pussers LR was told to go over the roundabout at the bottom of Forder valley hill, Guz. He did! right over it.
Our SSGT we soon discovered was not blessed with much imagination or common dog.
He nearly blew himself up when he connected a ruck of 12 volt batteries in not quite the right sequence.
Parked his very smooth looking giant pickup truck in the OC's parking spot. Nearly every day he was with us. OC got a wee bit shirty about this.
One Ex on Dartmoor he knocked himself out whilst banging in the Earthing spike!
He was likened to an accident that was bound to happen. Lasted 4 days on the AACC and then he was sent back over the water.
His replacement was one of the best blokes I have ever worked with. Dedicated, proffesional, a real Gentleman, in fact what you expect from the USMC, a damn good soldier.
Artist
I almost blew myself up with batteries once, when I first moved out here I was helping a mate charge his dirt bikes battery. And little bubbles of something would come out of the water if you held a light to them they would pop very loudly. Except one of these bubbles once connected to another bubble which was still connect to the tube which brought the great ball of fire right into the battery, and hence BAM. I am very lucky I didn't kill anyone who was watching my stupidity and pnly put myself in hospital for a week with shrapenal wounds. Too bad I was 17 and in a trailer park :|Artist wrote:
He nearly blew himself up when he connected a ruck of 12 volt batteries in not quite the right sequence.
If a man has nothing he is willing to die for then he isn't fit to live.
Who was the guy in Sig Sqn in Singers who was connecting up 4 x 75AHC batteries in an FFR? He connected up the btys then starts to make the connection to the chassis. Puts one lead in his mouth. Then fiddling about can't connect the other lead to the terminal on the chassis so he's scrambling around for a spanner and puts the other lead in his mouth, too! 
Can't remember his name for the life of men. Blew out his front teeth and had flash burns on his face.
No, it wasn't me: I've always looked like this!
Can't remember his name for the life of men. Blew out his front teeth and had flash burns on his face.
No, it wasn't me: I've always looked like this!
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Artist
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Rock Pusher
Was he a Jock?
I ask this in all honesty. Cos we had as a Sect Sgt who used to get "confused" after a visit to the Mess. The other SNCO's & a few JNCO's referred to him as "Bottle Top"
Nice bloke but, LESS SAID the better.
If Taff Johns is on this site I will admit to putting his Reliant Regal upside down in it's car space. OK?
Taff I'm not sorry would do it again! (7 blokes it took) "If I find the barstewarts who did this I'll make Em wish they were never born!!!!!" Was Taffs words and we all said damn right Taff! (HE, HE, HE, etc,) the things you do when you are bored.
Nutty Edwards (who was the WO1) said "Turn it round so it is facing the road" He then Cheesed down and left us. That is what you need. A Boss with a sense of humour!
Artist
Was he a Jock?
I ask this in all honesty. Cos we had as a Sect Sgt who used to get "confused" after a visit to the Mess. The other SNCO's & a few JNCO's referred to him as "Bottle Top"
Nice bloke but, LESS SAID the better.
If Taff Johns is on this site I will admit to putting his Reliant Regal upside down in it's car space. OK?
Taff I'm not sorry would do it again! (7 blokes it took) "If I find the barstewarts who did this I'll make Em wish they were never born!!!!!" Was Taffs words and we all said damn right Taff! (HE, HE, HE, etc,) the things you do when you are bored.
Nutty Edwards (who was the WO1) said "Turn it round so it is facing the road" He then Cheesed down and left us. That is what you need. A Boss with a sense of humour!
Artist
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harry hackedoff
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Cheesed down 
ain`t heared that one for ages Steve
As a bon-vivant, raconteur, boulevardier,and traveler of some standing, indeed I have visited our former colonies on several occasions, I would like to state that I consider the title of this thread doesn`t go far enough
Arrogant Yanks, indeed.
What about the ignorant ones? Or the fat bastards? Don`t forget the ugly ones, either.
Come to think of it, they sound a bit like Brits( effin hate that word)
I loves Elmer
Come here moi luvvers, for a gert sloppy kiss
Notice the Oscar Meyer gag didn`t get a reply. Wonder why
Aye, Harry H Hackedoff III there boy
ain`t heared that one for ages Steve As a bon-vivant, raconteur, boulevardier,and traveler of some standing, indeed I have visited our former colonies on several occasions, I would like to state that I consider the title of this thread doesn`t go far enough
Arrogant Yanks, indeed.
What about the ignorant ones? Or the fat bastards? Don`t forget the ugly ones, either.
Come to think of it, they sound a bit like Brits( effin hate that word)
I loves Elmer
Come here moi luvvers, for a gert sloppy kiss Notice the Oscar Meyer gag didn`t get a reply. Wonder why
Aye, Harry H Hackedoff III there boy
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Artist
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Harry
Simple reason for the non return is........He's a bloody Yank!
All the charm of a Pedantic three legged horse with hic-cups!
Once in this ere state called Taxas (close) Corpus Christie. (had this ere bridge wot we nearly it) weem all whent into this ere bar it ad a sign saing "Drink 9 glasses of our beer in 30 seconds and we will refill your glass and gis U back the dosh" (it was fun Oie tell E now!) Two days later thisun sign ad gorrrn! Soes we says to this ere Barman Why? Reply was "F*ck off and annoy somewhere else Brit! (or summut loike it)
I'll get me coat as Whitey ain't to bad as they go.
Owes dis ere ostralia then me andsome then but? Tis e Still all rigt wiff dese err EX Convicts is it moi andsome then?
Artist
Simple reason for the non return is........He's a bloody Yank!
All the charm of a Pedantic three legged horse with hic-cups!
Once in this ere state called Taxas (close) Corpus Christie. (had this ere bridge wot we nearly it) weem all whent into this ere bar it ad a sign saing "Drink 9 glasses of our beer in 30 seconds and we will refill your glass and gis U back the dosh" (it was fun Oie tell E now!) Two days later thisun sign ad gorrrn! Soes we says to this ere Barman Why? Reply was "F*ck off and annoy somewhere else Brit! (or summut loike it)
I'll get me coat as Whitey ain't to bad as they go.
Owes dis ere ostralia then me andsome then but? Tis e Still all rigt wiff dese err EX Convicts is it moi andsome then?
Artist
Last edited by Artist on Tue 02 Dec, 2003 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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harry hackedoff
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I just can't rememberArtist wrote:Rock Pusher
Was he a Jock?
I ask this in all honesty. Cos we had as a Sect Sgt who used to get "confused" after a visit to the Mess.
All I can remember is that he wasn't the brightest of guys. I'm pretty sure he'd have never pass an SCC.Mind you, you're 'clue' doesn't help that much. I knew too many stripeys who got 'confused' after a visit to the mess.
Unlike, moi, of course
