Denial

[Andy O'Pray]

Apparently the journalists have named the Information Minister, Baghdad Bob or Mr. McGhoo. I think that Saddam is leaving him behind as the fall guy.

Aye - Andy.

[harry hackedoff]

We’ve all seen that humorous buffoon and his stand-up routine, wowing the crowds at press briefings.
But enough of Air Marshall Brian "Biffo" Burridge , what about me old mate Mohamed Saeed al Sahaf, what will happen to him after the war? Channel four chat show, most likely
Seriously, why is Burridge in charge of UK contingent?

[El Prez]

It's take your turn time. They will tell you that, having done all the good staff college course available it doesn't matter what arm of the service is in charge. Moi responds, Kershite!
Saheed will look stunning in Chrome Bracelets, by JKN Sankey.

[Information!]

I am sorry for havings to speek so quietly but the boss is havink a nap.

Get your butt to Baghdad International Airport (Nee Saddam) soonest, as the Presidential jet is waiting to whisk you to Great Britain

I am nots getting in an aeroplane with Mr Parree drivink, no way Jose! Who gives him permissions to land hees jet there anyway?
Is dees an attempt to get me out into the opens? Why would your aeroplanes be at Saddam International Airport? It is in our control!! I tell you it is... I am telling truths. Planes are not landink there because the runways is full with our preesoners . You are tryink to tricks me and I know you are lie. I was going to takes you all to the airport today and show you all our preesoners but now I am not because my car is brokens. It fails the MOT because it has buleet holes in the lights and they are saying that the AK47 holder ees broken.
I am pleased that the televisions have got it right now. When they are talkings about US forces they are talking about UNCLE SADDAM'S FORCES you know, I tell you and you must listen. I gotta go, the boss needs hees bag changink!

[El Prez]

Shhhhhhh! Info, as they say in the theatre at Crimbo time................................... "Behind You!"

[voodoo sprout]

I think this sums him up quite nicely .


But you have to admit, he hasn't got much to work with. What do you expect,
"Well, we're almost completely surrounded, our equipments been blown to so many bits bob the builder himself couldn't fix it, our army's disappeared and we're going to get comprehensively flattened, but hey, it wasn't my plan!"

More likely however is a new broadcast on the incredible feats of the Iraqi army...
"We are destoying the stoopid Amerikans all over Iraq, Mustafa is driving back the entire 3rd infantry division with his AK47, while my comrade is valiantly standing guard despite having a hole in his head the size of, erm... His head. The Amerikan mercenaries are crying in shame as we chased them from the airport in our fearsome Citroen vans brimming with carpet rolls and a spikey stick, forcing them to fall back to central Baghdad. I think victory will be swift!"

[Information!]

We are destoying the stoopid Amerikans all over Iraq, Mustafa is driving back the entire 3rd infantry division with his AK47, while my comrade is valiantly standing guard despite having a hole in his head the size of, erm... His head. The Amerikan mercenaries are crying in shame as we chased them from the airport in our fearsome Citroen vans brimming with carpet rolls and a spikey stick, forcing them to fall back to central Baghdad. I think victory will be swift!
Our great and wonderful leader is at £$&&^%$%$%^& (what? you thinks I am stupid?) No, seriously, our leader is at the front of the battle now leading our troop into glorious deaths, sorry I mean to say...... erm winnings. We have steel got the airports and the statues in the city. Your TV's lies to you ***Stamp, stamp stamp*** I want my momies, it is dark in here and the boss he keeps on fartings. Shhhhh someone is commings. Ohhhh Saddam, you naughty boy!

[El Prez]

Will there now be a mass shaving off of moustaches and ditching of plain green army uniforms?

[MarkE]

Not very eloquent, but deny this, m*****f***er
P.S.
Anyone know where we can obtain a 20 foot effigy of George W. Bush as a replacement?

Mark.

[Topper]

Bizarre


http://www.football365shop.com/store/co ... roduct=900

[may18]

That guy has cracked me up for days

My fave being @there are no american tanks in bagdhad@

when they were visible over his shoulder ;p

Its quite possible though, that if he hadnt said what he did, he would have been shot

[Information!]

Hey MarkE why I deny it? I don'ts need to as eet is obviously your propaganda and a beet of photoshoppings. I am with the boss at the momnet and we are a little busy to give the news reports in persons today so here is the general outlines:
Our forces have repelled the infidel invaders and we are now in fulls controls of thee city of Baghdad. If you need proof look at your BBC and CNN films! Looks at the tanks, which way are they facing? I tell you. They are facing backwards. They are chasing our tanks away from the city backwards, I don't thinks so. Run the film backwards and you will see the truths, our tanks are chasing yours out of the city. These statues is the same things. These are us putting up new statues and you are running the films backwards. Nice try the BBCs and CNNs. Listen to the radio, it said yesterday "US (Uncle Saddam) forces are in full control of the city". I rest my cases.

[El Prez]

I need this man in my employ. He will never let me down, declaim against my imperialist aggression towards Devon and will always be in front of me when danger lurks, such as in the shower!
Info, my good man, bring those cases to a desert strip of your choice. the Presidential VW camper van, cunningly disguised as a cruising missile thingy, complete with surf boards, will pick you up and jet you off to relative luxury in Oldham. You do have rellies in Oldham?
Call soon my leeetle fren. Chihuahua!

[harry hackedoff]

There is a certain training camp just outside Budleigh Salterton Caravan Park, used by The Popular Front For The Liberation Of South Devon, where even now suicide death squads are training on a diet of lager-topps and snakebite chasers. Their mission is to infiltrate the Fal estuary on a moonless night in the near future. They will make their way overland to Marks and Sparks in Truro to link up with an agent from the KLAMA(Kernow Liberation Army, Moi Ansome) in the womens underwear section. From there they will launch the attack that the whole of Cornwall has been waiting for, for years.(well Rob Parry`s street actually)
Posing as Medical Equipment Sales Reps, they will gain the trust of the Evil One and detonate several over-ripe Ginsters laden with C4, in the Presidential Compound( Parry`s back yard).Using this as the signal, KLAMA and the PFFTLOSD will stage a piss up in the Turk`s Head, Exeter. All are welcome.