T A Padre

[harry hackedoff]

Thank fark girls, we can all sleep in our beds tonight
The mighty T A have sent us a Devil Dodger to
A) bother our consience,
B) bore our tits off.
Now I don`t mind which, as long as the hip flask is toppers and the jokes are filthyer than mine.
Otherwise your holyness, best you F.R.O

Bless you Harry, for it is written that smart-arsed bastards like you will never enter the kingdom of heaven
Someone out there gives a toss mate. Find`em and tell`em

[harry hackedoff]

I dunno bout youse blokes but oi don`t like the way the old C of E has hijacked Remembrance or Zeebrugge Parades. It`s actually got fark all to do with religion and everything to do with remembering lost oppos, whatever their religion. Padres get in the way sometimes, usually once the hip flask runs out.
Giving these times to the Cof E is a cop out really. Like saying we can`t organise this ourselves so over to you Bish.
Losing mates has fark all to do with the Church, it seems to me.
What do you think?

[got1]

Harry, you get some good ones with the TA.
We had one that loved his dram. We were at an officers engagement party and had a great time.
The next day he appeared looking the worst for wear, I told him he was a disgrace to the cloth. He replied,, "at least I didn't spend the evening with my nose stuck down the front of a young ladies dress".
I havn't a clue who he is talking about.

[harry hackedoff]

I`m not saying there aren`t some decent blokes doing the job because there are.
What I`m saying is the Cof E have hijacked certain things which are not about religion at all. Remembrance Parade for instance. Totally hi jacked by the C of E.
Got fark all to do with them.

[anglo-saxon]

STAB padre? Does that mean he can be all wicked and suchlike during the week days? Then he says a Hail Mary, thrashes himself with nettles and dons the cloth at 08:00 Sat morning?

Some of them are alright, but most I've met are nobs. We have one of them cath-o'-lics right now. The only bonus is he has such a heavy Polish accent, I can't understand a bloody word out of him. Bonus for the King Billy Club!

Our padre in the UK was outstanding. Biggest bugger and dirtiest player on the 7's team. One night at Thetford, me and my mucker were staggering back though camp after a libation or several. Drank all our dosh, so deep fried pizza was out of the question. Said mucker decides to breack in to the cookhouse and grab some vittles before bed. But out of idle curiosity he first tries the front door handle which he finds unlocked. Bonus. So I stand watch while the keeper of the cunning plan goes inside. A minute or two later, he comes staggering out clutching a seven pound tin of peaches and a big shyte-eating grin on his face.

Turns out, just as he was leaving with his loot, he hears something in the dark towards the end of the cookhouse from which a slight glow of light was coming from. His curiosity get the better of him and he tip-toed down there to have a gander. The glow was from the light under the cook sgt's office door and all Dave could hear was "Ugh, Agh, Ugh, Agh," from inside. Dave tweaks the door open with his foot to see the padre stuck up the back of one the the WRAC cooks on loan. He was in his Mess kit with his pants around his ankles. Dave was aghast and frozen to the floor. Just then the padre looks up and sees Dave. Barely missing a stroke, he looks at the peaches and says to Dave, "I won't tell if you won't."

Kept us going for years in myrth and merriment, did that one!

[Artist]

Please let the Poor Sod say summut before you condemn him Harry!!

Owd Padre Jones was a great bloke! First met him at CTC when I was in training. Years later he was made a Bish on the Isle of Man. Sent a letter to us in the Pompey print shop asking if we could do him some headed notepaper. The name of the place he was in charge of sounded summut like "Sod em all Tomorrow" Canna remember the exact name of his diocese but the last twenty sheets were printed as:

From the Bish of sod em all tomorrow, AKA, Taff Jones

They were sent to Taff and a few weeks later we recieved a letter from him thanking us from the bottom of his heart for the wonderful Headed notepaper. Bless him!!

Artist

[harry hackedoff]

Taff the cross!.
What a bloody good geezer Noel is, despite his H-H-H-High pitched larf.

Best Naval Padre ever, despite my recent comments ref the Cof E,

Here`s to him and don`t spare the Pussers

[TA_Padre]

Having organised D-Day, Remembrance, VE Commemoration and other events I'm interested to hear that you reckon the CofE has hijacked them. Wonder if you can explain abit further as I'm interested in this.

By way of an introduction, I'm about to join a TA Regt. Background looks ace but underneath the college bit I'm a north London (Gooner), definitely not posh geezer. I too have endured the boring and irrelevant and would hate to think that any of those who I have had dealings with on the sadder side of Iraq (we had two of the three Staffs in our town recently) would have thought we'd hijacked their mates funerals.

Any input for a green, wet behind the ears (and a bit between too!) Padre person would be most welcome.

[Artist]

The one thing about Naval Padres was that they were to a man crap at playin Uckers. Always used to bring it down to the level of Ludo.

TA_Padre

Welcome to the Forums.

Artist

[harry hackedoff]

Bless you my son, bish bosh
Ste, is Taff the Cross still batting for God`s side or is he retired now. Decent lad he was
Padre, some of the guys who turn to for these gigs and many of the Serving Members don`t really care about the former jewish chippy wot had a magic act, "and hey presto, it`s a decent Chateu Neuf Du Pap" Da Darrr Religion has it`s place and I love a drop of Cof E but it`s Remembrance Parade mate. Not farking Church Parade. To me, there is a significant difference which is obviously lost on yourself.

[TA_Padre]

Hi HH,

Don't think it is lost on me actually, the clue is in the name. Remembrance!

We have around 1,000 bods in for that service and the key is all in the Kohima Prayer. It is my job to make sure that these services keep happening and that the young don't forget the sacrifice of those who have gone (including our three local lads from the Staffs, one of whom we buried!).

Those who bear arms for this country, do their duty (even when it's not their first choice) and deserve to be remembered. There are those who are left, those who come back and bear the marks (visible or not) and those who never went are not left untouched. That is what's it is about not the CofE.

If the Christian bit isn't your bag, then that's your choice. I will never push you to accept my faith but the fact that I am free to have it is a legacy of those I seek to honour and remember. Perhaps we'd be better as pagans and hug a rock or tree but don't see me getting as many people doing it with me, especially on a wet Nov 11th.

I have a faith. I have a hope but if you're happier believing that this is all you get or whatever, enjoy!

Thanks for comments - but please don't assume that I want to hijack something I work hard to keep happening for the right reasons.

P

[TA_Padre]

The one thing about Naval Padres was that they were to a man crap at playin Uckers. Always used to bring it down to the level of Ludo.

My Dad used to play Uckers with me - two dices, blobs and all. Made fox hunting look like a game for nice old ladies. I'll get my Catholic friends to light a candle for the sin bosuns tomorrow - poor wotsits, bet they never knew what hit them.

Thanks for welcome Artist,

P

[harry hackedoff]

Don`t go all Jayne Austin on me Padre, ffs tut.
Never mind me bag I was a catholic till I saw the light(catholic grammar skool, jesuits, regular beatings, suits you sir) and am more comfy with the Cof E(or Anglican Faith as we calls it down here) Very touchy feely it is, user-friendly take it or leave it etc. and it does have it`s place.
What my point is mate, is that Remembrance Pde is about remembering an Oppo or remembering all previous Members who have passed over the bar even if those Members were not religious in the slightest and those doing the remembering would be far happier down the mess getting shit-faced. It`s been turned into a Church Parade and I don`t think the word "hi-jacked" is too strong. As these gigs are where you earns your bread and butter, it`s obvious you will disagree mate. What I`ve said to you is my honest opinion as one of your client base.
And welcome aboard mate, you are the first T.A. Padre I`ve ever heard off.

Don`t mind me Bish,I don`t actually own this Forum.

I just farkin act like I do
Welcome

[TA_Padre]

Hi HH,

I wasn't doing the Jane Austin (I hope) although the problem is that I wanted to say 'one' rather than 'you' but it sounded a bit prissy. I might fancy the Jesuit bit (always enjoyed a whip round at Christmas!).

I am actually in agreement but am less concerned at the CofE bit (as we put it on and make sure it happens) but more so for the 'nobs' with the golden chains and the posh seats.

I have lost mates in Falklands and other conflicts, plus the odd soco and others to PIRA and this is the time that they are remembered and more importanlty honoured. If you ever wanted a Remembrance Service which wasn't a formal dipstick's outing and didn't end up providing inane mutterings (which sadly we can do so well in the church when we have no idea what the service really means) - count me in.

My mail was done with a smile and (hopefully) that came across. That's one weakness of the mail/internet gig really. One raised eyebrow and (sad, the wife calls it) humour don't always come across.

As for the bread and butter, that's working with people, meeting them and being a friend when they need one. Some of the formal services are more of a glorious PITA with all the elements that have to be catered for.

Thanks for welcome - my background is engineering where having survived the apprenticeship was only the beginning. I definitely went downhill from there !

Thanks for the comments, looking forward to getting to know more of the real people here as time progresses,

P

ps. Pity it's not yours, it's a superb site.

[harry hackedoff]

Cheer ears Have fun matey