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Classic Film lines......
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and the best one ever:
Pontius Pilate: Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!
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Pontius Pilate: So, youw fawtha was a Woman. Who was he?
Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jeruselem Garrison.
Pontius Pilate: What was his name?
Brian: Nottius Maximus, sir.
Centurion: [giggle]
Pontius Pilate: Centuwion do you have anyone in your gawwison by that name?
Centurion: No, sir.
Pontius Pilate: Well you seem awfully sure, have you checked?
Centurion: I think its a joke, sir. Sort of like... uh... Sillius Sodus, or Biggus Dickus. (guards giggle)
Pontius Pilate: What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus?"
Centurion: Its a joke name, sir.
Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named "Biggus Dickus."
[guard laughs]
Pontius Pilate: WIGHT! THATS IT!
Centurion: Oh, but sir...
Pontius Pilate: No, no, no. I want him fighting weally, wild, wavish animals by the mowning!
Pontius Pilate: Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!
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Pontius Pilate: So, youw fawtha was a Woman. Who was he?
Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jeruselem Garrison.
Pontius Pilate: What was his name?
Brian: Nottius Maximus, sir.
Centurion: [giggle]
Pontius Pilate: Centuwion do you have anyone in your gawwison by that name?
Centurion: No, sir.
Pontius Pilate: Well you seem awfully sure, have you checked?
Centurion: I think its a joke, sir. Sort of like... uh... Sillius Sodus, or Biggus Dickus. (guards giggle)
Pontius Pilate: What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus?"
Centurion: Its a joke name, sir.
Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named "Biggus Dickus."
[guard laughs]
Pontius Pilate: WIGHT! THATS IT!
Centurion: Oh, but sir...
Pontius Pilate: No, no, no. I want him fighting weally, wild, wavish animals by the mowning!
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[The End Of The Film]
Lady Presenter: Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life.
[Receives an envelope.]
Lady Presenter: Thank you, Brigitte.
[Opens envelope, reads what's inside.]
Lady Presenter: M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their f@#k arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music.
Goodnight.
Lady Presenter: Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life.
[Receives an envelope.]
Lady Presenter: Thank you, Brigitte.
[Opens envelope, reads what's inside.]
Lady Presenter: M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their f@#k arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music.
Goodnight.
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From "bad Santa":
[Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) has just passed out]
Gin (Bernie Mac): Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.
Marcus (Tony Cox): What do you mean, get him outta here?
Gin: Take him to the car.
Marcus: In case you didn't notice I'm a f@#k dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand hmm?
Gin: That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause your handicapped. You're all the same.
Marcus: Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-f@#k-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?
Gin: Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!
Marcus: Sketch it up, you f@#k moron. f@#k Leonardo da Vinci.
Gin: What'd you call me thigh-high?
Marcus: I called you a f@#k guinea homo from the 15th-f@#k-century, you dickhead!
Gin: I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
Marcus: Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
Gin: You got some lip on you midget.
Marcus: yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!
[Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) has just passed out]
Gin (Bernie Mac): Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.
Marcus (Tony Cox): What do you mean, get him outta here?
Gin: Take him to the car.
Marcus: In case you didn't notice I'm a f@#k dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand hmm?
Gin: That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause your handicapped. You're all the same.
Marcus: Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-f@#k-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?
Gin: Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!
Marcus: Sketch it up, you f@#k moron. f@#k Leonardo da Vinci.
Gin: What'd you call me thigh-high?
Marcus: I called you a f@#k guinea homo from the 15th-f@#k-century, you dickhead!
Gin: I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
Marcus: Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
Gin: You got some lip on you midget.
Marcus: yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!
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