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You know your drunk when..........
waking up in the bathroom in the bath with a piss wet quilt laid on top of you
How my missus managed to get me from the the bed to the bath is still a mystery, needless to say I didn't get breakfast in the morning, probably compounded by the fact that me mucker who was crashing in the spare room had also splashed down... 2 new mattresses later and a lot of "I'm sorry love it won't hapeen again" and we are on talking terms
How my missus managed to get me from the the bed to the bath is still a mystery, needless to say I didn't get breakfast in the morning, probably compounded by the fact that me mucker who was crashing in the spare room had also splashed down... 2 new mattresses later and a lot of "I'm sorry love it won't hapeen again" and we are on talking terms
"Every man an Emperor!"
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- Guest
ONE SATURDAY IN THE SUMMERTIME
Inspecting the Corp of drums at Eastney prior to them beating retreat for the Officers Mess Summer ball.
Then having a "SESS" in the Verge Inn with some Oppos.
Then going into the Sgts Mess and being "The life and soul of the party" (in my own eyes)
Then getting my head down in a spare cabin in the Mess, getting up in the night and swamping in some poor blokes Locker because it's roughly the same amount of paces and in roughly the same location as the bathroom is in me house!
Then doing the Nine O'Clock walk Monday morning to "Have a chat with the RSM" ref me exploits over the weekend.
Then going into the same Mess for Stand Easy and getting "FUNNY" looks from everyone whether they had witnessed the events or not.
And finally going home and explaining to my better half that I would be on duty every night for the next two weeks!
SOD IT! great times, bloody great times! Would do it all again.
Artist
Inspecting the Corp of drums at Eastney prior to them beating retreat for the Officers Mess Summer ball.
Then having a "SESS" in the Verge Inn with some Oppos.
Then going into the Sgts Mess and being "The life and soul of the party" (in my own eyes)
Then getting my head down in a spare cabin in the Mess, getting up in the night and swamping in some poor blokes Locker because it's roughly the same amount of paces and in roughly the same location as the bathroom is in me house!
Then doing the Nine O'Clock walk Monday morning to "Have a chat with the RSM" ref me exploits over the weekend.
Then going into the same Mess for Stand Easy and getting "FUNNY" looks from everyone whether they had witnessed the events or not.
And finally going home and explaining to my better half that I would be on duty every night for the next two weeks!
SOD IT! great times, bloody great times! Would do it all again.
Artist
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- Guest
When you come home at night and 'make' things...........
Gore.
Or when you get arrested by Gore.............
Gore.
Gore.
Or when you get arrested by Gore.............
Gore.
Mexican bandit, "Badges?! We don't need no stinking badges....."
Major Kong, "Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in vegas with all that stuff....."
Gore, "The first casualty of war is your underpants....."
Major Kong, "Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in vegas with all that stuff....."
Gore, "The first casualty of war is your underpants....."
- Scottish Thistle
- Member
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Tue 30 Mar, 2004 3:17 pm
- Location: Glasgow
You go walking around the lakes with your friend and his girlfiend (on a bitterly cold decembers night) and decide to go for a swim . 10 minutes later your totally naked swimming around the murky lake, they steal your clothes and put them on the pub bar that overlooks the lake. You walk in starkers and order a pint before being escorted out to be dressed
Ill never forget the faces of the peopl drinking outside the pub as i swam towards them (about 800M) , climbed up the bank walmed my hands by the gas heated thingy and walked into the bar.
Ill never forget the faces of the peopl drinking outside the pub as i swam towards them (about 800M) , climbed up the bank walmed my hands by the gas heated thingy and walked into the bar.
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- Member
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Thu 15 Apr, 2004 6:34 pm
- Location: Yorkshire
When you and your mates are walking back to yours and you happen to pass temp traffic lights. You then arrive home grab your tool bag, return to said lights, unplug them from the generator and then dismantle the lights and stand. After carrying both a mile home you re-erect them in the hallway, stand et all, you then go to bed.
On waking up and realising what you've done and you place them in back of a car and drive to the countryside and dump them in a lay-by.
On waking up and realising what you've done and you place them in back of a car and drive to the countryside and dump them in a lay-by.
When we're good they'll never remember,
When we're bad they'll never forget.
When we're bad they'll never forget.
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- Guest
Brought back some memories that
We managed to get a whole roadworks set up back to our grot one night. No idea how we managed to get it through the main gate.
We had flashing orange lights, those orange and white barrier things, some traffic cones, a couple of those men digging road sign triangle jobbies and to cap it all, a load of cats eyes
Then there was the hanging baskets that we carried from the middle of town
The other thing that we used to do on the long walk back from town, was move the "For Sale" signs in the housing estate.
Yes I know....tres juvenile...but we thought it was funny after a skinful
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- Guest
Its even better on bulk rubbish days now.... On a sunday night we put it out and sit in the garden with the neighbours getting drunk on cheap corn and warsteiner. We sit and wait for the Turks in the big white van to drive past and then we spoof to see who is going to get in the large repack box which incidentaly is parked up next to the rubbish. It is hilarious when they think they are going to get a freebie bargain when Royal jumps out and legs it down the road. My god the amount of times i have nearly wet my knickers laughing my head off.
Ps ive been in the box only once and the buggers taped it up.
Ps ive been in the box only once and the buggers taped it up.
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- Guest
OOOoooh another one we did.... when my washing machine went belly up we put that out for bulk rubbish. But we went to Markof (store) and bought the biggest pair of knickers we could find and placed them in the drum of the machine. The turks were a bit reluctant to take it but jed managed to explain that it worked, at this point my neighbour ran out of the garden and jumped into the back of the open truck and shouted stop stop, the turks didnt know what hit them when she opened the door and took out her knickers and promptly put them on in front of them. Sad thing was they fitted her.