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Ease Springs

General discussions on joining & training in the British Army.
Chateau Lafite
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Ease Springs

Post by Chateau Lafite »

Ease Springs,

I’m a curious soul, (and a sad pedantic little W*****, before someone else says it), but I lust had to point out a tiny little point. YOU ARE A COMPLETE WALTER. Either that or you are some smart-ass trying to take the piss out us “genuine ‘ard as nails warriors”. And I WAS on the Balcony before you ask. :lol:

Age: “I'm 53 but i can still kick ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” so in 1971 (if u wanna check me out ask any question about 21 1971- 73) you would have been 18. OK, but you previously served in ”Ex Royal Westminster Dragoons, 1 month in 10 Para then 21 SAS” So you would have been in the Dragoons at what 16,17? Then you say “Sorry, i got it wrong, It was Berkshire and Westminster Dragoons” who were disbanded in 1969 when you were, umm, 16. Minimum age for joining the TA is 17.

Medic:
1) You were “in” the SAS for two years (1971-73), during which time you passed aptitude, Continuation (min 18 months) then got posted straight to training wing! “I was a medic in the training wing selection course directing staff for 12 months.” “i was in HQ sqdn for a few years” (a few years! You were only “in” for two years!) AND you still managed to fit in a few Exercises;” If u want i can mention a bit about some exercises or overseas training that maybe help u remember” Genius.
2) “I was Regimental Medical Assistant working with the Doc if that helps jog memories” (Singular), “i was regimental medical assistant and there were 2 M.O's, one had a surname beginning with F, the others surname began with a V.
Just in case u think i'm a walter” (Plural)

Selection (aka aptitude): I love these gems!
1) “and don't forget you are sleeping in snow or on ice often”. WTF! There are woods both in the Beacons, South Downs, even in Kenya. You basha in woods. Simple.
2) “Get a cheapo pair of binoculars and use them on the mountains to keep an eye on other candidates and DS, you know, the mini binos. You got to be one step ahead, right. Be switched on and you are half way there” Double WTF!
3) “found one of our course unconscious in a stream… we flagged down a passing motorist some distance away.” Can’t think of a single location in the Beacons where there is a stream nearish enough to a road for this to happen. Tell me where.
4) “Buy a waterproof bag for inside your bergen so you can swim across a river if its gonna save you a few hours, but make sure you got dry clothes in the sack, have fun.”

Navigation:
1) “[Compass]Get the one on a rectangular base so you can use it for getting bearings off maps easily.” No Sh1t! I’d never thought of that.
2) “many people bought their own Silva orienteering compass, lighter, cheaper and don't cost so much if you lose it” Come on mate, Orienteering compasses are in degrees. Military compasses are in Mils.

Other Stuff:
1) “And the boathouse and the garage were the sameplace with a blue door!!!!!” Boathouse? In the Duke of Yorks?
2) “The CO was a guy whose name ended in s, he was seconded from 22.” A CO of 21 seconded from 22! What will they think of next!

I look forward to your rebuttal of these heinous allegations.
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Post by Rover »

CL.

You can be so cruel. :D

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KIMBERLYPARE
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Nailed.

Post by KIMBERLYPARE »

LOL!!
Ease springs will need O.J Simpsons lawyers to get out of this tangle!
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Post by Spooky »

He was supposed to have been 4 Para HQ Sqn for a while too.
SP

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KIMBERLYPARE
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Post by KIMBERLYPARE »

Is he in fact Mitch Buchannan from baywatch who was an ex-member of every elite unit worldwide that it takes a lifetime to gain entry to?!!!!!

'some people stand in the darkness afraid to come into the light........'

:lol:
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Chateau Lafite
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Post by Chateau Lafite »

As a paid up member of the life’s sad and miserable club I’m heartily disappointed that our old friend Easy Springs (can I call you Easy?) Hasn’t, as yet, responded in his own name as yet.

However I feel that our efforts haven’t been in vain.

[WARNING: This is written after a bottle of Glen Carlou 2004 Syrah (nice, but a little unbalanced, wine-lovers). This cannot be guaranteed; I’m working on the same amount of data that led our glorious leader b-Liar to invade Iraq, but if it’s good enough for him….]

In the brief interludes when Mrs Lafite isn’t servicing me orally I’ve attempted to get to the TRUTH! So I’ve put on my Mrs Marple hat, smoked my Sherlock pipe, and even drawn a Poirot Moustache on my top lip. And I’ve been digging. There’s a few more points, or predictions if you will, about our friend Ease Springs. All of which are tenuous. All of which are hypothetical. All of which require an immaculate leap of faith on the part of the dear reader.

1) He’s not in China, as his profile claims. Because the timings of his posts, unless he has VERY unusual sleeping habits, suggests someone who is minus 4 to 5hrs from us. (i.e. Atlantic, or Eastern Time) Which means West, not East. So that’d put him somewhere in the US, or more likely Canada.
2) He is cleverer than he seems, and is just pulling our collective plonkers; Viz Perfect spelling, but bad grammar.
3) The American / Canadian bit is confirmed by
a. Americanisms: “Weatherwise”, “you gotta pay”, “It's way cheap”
b. American spelling: “Favorite”
c. Text / youngsters speak (for a 53 year old): “how can u give”, “don't matter cos”, “mental!!!”, “if u wanna”, “this stuffs”.
4) This is the last and MOST TENOUS bit, and why I believe our presence hasn’t been in Vain. This is my Spider sense talking now. We have already been graced by the Big Easy. You’ll have to bear with me on this…. Easy Joined MFAT (http://www.mfat.co.uk/forums/memberlist ... start=3850) on the 7th Nov, and posted every day since my post. On the 6th “someone else” joined, who:
a. Hasn’t posted since the Easy question came up, and hasn’t posted on any other board.
b. Uses the same Americanisms, the same quintuple explanation marks, the same time period (so far) for postings. That person is KIMBERLYPARE, and I (stick that neck out) believe they are the same weasel.

[Retreats to safety of bunker]
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Post by mfat_man »

Kim and Ease post from different IPs :lol:
  • Kim is a UK one

    Ease is Taiwan and Tibet
Mmmmmmmmm interesting!
Last edited by mfat_man on Tue 14 Nov, 2006 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Chateau Lafite
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Post by Chateau Lafite »

Oh, Whadda you know Mfat? I told you it was speculation!

He's obviously a dangerous opponent. Lock your windows tonight, and make sure the Mrs has her Chastity belt locked..
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Post by mfat_man »

Chateau Lafite wrote:Oh, Whadda you know Mfat? I told you it was speculation!

He's obviously a dangerous opponent. Lock your windows tonight, and make sure the Mrs has her Chastity belt locked..
Hey pal you were on the balcony and you started this one :lol: So I'll hand it back thanks..... ATB :wink:
Chateau Lafite
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Post by Chateau Lafite »

B'srtd! You've got the Info there. I've only got my spider sense and my ruined liver to work on!

Damn that Glen Carlou Shiraz. Tasting note has changed to "Lovely soft berry fruit on both nose and palate, but due to a vinification mistake deeply hallucinogenic.”

Sorry to Kimberly for any offence to you, your family, or your offspring. I acknowlege any wrongdoing to be purely my fault and admit total liability. You are however Ease Springs no matter what the facts say!
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KIMBERLYPARE
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Post by KIMBERLYPARE »

LOL!Sorry sherlock but i am not ease springs nor any affiliate of the said rogue,cheers for the weasel reference though.....
nice to know your well thought of! :x
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KIMBERLYPARE
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Post by KIMBERLYPARE »

ps im not a bird either,just came up with this bizzare monicker while sippin some cold beers......
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xcj
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Post by xcj »

a walt... such a waste of a life
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Post by Alfa »

It amazes me how even with this thread Ease Springs is still posting on the forum without even aknowledging the fact he's been "called out" you'd think he'd at least the sense to disapear.

Some people really are sad.
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KIMBERLYPARE
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Post by KIMBERLYPARE »

Maybe he is Kaiser Sauzee..........?
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