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Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.

I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.

BABY BIRD / Fed up with watersports? Constrained by traditional dominant- submissive roles? Try a more nurturing role: feed me like a baby pelican! Both sexes welcome. I supply the raw herring, you bring the big strap-on beak. No weirdos.

Minimalist seeks woman