Naked Bar

[Skiffle]

I have just returned from my local , were one of my local drinking compatriots just tried to invite one of the younger (very much younger than him in this case) barmaids

To see the Cerne Abbas giant

As she was here from South Africa, she was none to the wise as to what was being inquired about , and the banter jokes after the question were hilarous.

But this has got me thinking What chat up lines have you used to entice, the fairer sex into your pit, have you used ? (or had used on you!) whilst out on the pull, trap, snipe, hunt, run ashore (what ever term you feel best describes your search for one night of fulfillment!)

And what sort of reaction did it receive! :changes:

[COMBAT WOMBAT]

i once said to a girl, ''haven't i seen you somewhere before?''
She said ''yeah, that's why i don't go there anymore!''

Ahh, poor WOMBAT!!!

[Skiffle]

I have tried

Scuse me luv, but coud you take your nick's off????

To which she inruired as to why?

I told her i wanted to

eat her out?

She smiled, and used me to pay for her night club entry, and later fled into the night like she was trying to hide the appocalipse!

Now dosent that sound like a smooth talking Bar Sterward

[flo]

Gentlemen please!!!!!

but dont all former bootnecks (and serving) opt to become plumbers !!! When i met my hubby in the Waverley (classy joint) im sure it was a plumbers convention, or was i mislead but i do remember getting my own back on a young sprog straight from the box and telling him i was a biscuit designer. The battle of Garibaldi featured highly in my reportiore and lo and behold he bought it. So the moral of the story is 'its not just bootnecks that can spin a yarn its also future bootie wives.'

[Artist]

There is always the ozzy classic:

Bloke to Sheila

Q. Do you f**k?

A. No but you've talked me into it you smooth talking bast*rd!

Or the Cornish bloke to Ermintrude:

Q. Do E f**k

A. No oie limp.

Or the classic one I used to use:

"Hi I'm Steve a Royal Marine helicopter pilot"

"Sod off Sig's! I Can see yer A41 from here."

It worked for the Parry.



Aye steve evans

[Mike]

Then there is the classic.

Royal....."Hi luv do yr Fcuk ?"

Luv...... "NO"

Royal.... "Not much Chance of a Dance then ? !"

[Artist]

Mike

I'm sure that one is back to front ain't it?

aye steve evans

[Cronkilla]

"Excuse me madam im apart of the health and safety team for the club and id like you to leave"

"Why"

"You too good looking and the blokes are complaining of neck injuries"

[Charlie]

After a visit to Wales v Scotland in Cardiff. On the train - p***ed.

"Are you two sisters"

"No"

"You must be lesbians then - can me and my mate watch"

Escorted off the train when it got to Newport. Good job I live there.

[wilson]

Best line Ive ever had from a young lady...

Random bird: There's a party in my mouth! Do you wanna come?

wilson: Falls off his chair and is too gobsmacked to finalise the deal

What a waste...

Aye,
wilson

[Maverick00]

You should be ashamed of yourself wasting such a fine opportunity...then again she may have just been one of the vicious 'prick-tease' clan of women that mercilessly ensnare many of us vunerable males...

[Archie]

Royal: Any chance of a f**K Jenny?

Jenny: No chance Royal, piss off.

Royal: I suppose a blow job is out of the question?

[gash-hand]

How much?

[Guest]

I didn`t have to get a party in my pit, I`d been out of the box about two weeks, (if that) and on returning from the Galley, having had my evening scran, there was a Que, along the veranda in E coy lines Malta, the Que going to my 10 man grot door, and inside, to my Pit, Luckily, I was second on the Job, as after the young LADY had finished with E coy, she moved on to F and G and the the Mighty S, HQ, and back to the Mighty S, this young Lady, went by the name, ( i know you all know her) of Grace, amazing Grace. Needless to say, when the Lads had finished, and the E coy camera club had stowed their cameras, i had to ditch the soggy sponge, which used to be a matteress, and get well in with the bedding storeman

aaahhhhh those were the days

[ratso]

So now we know Sponge Bob ... did you get to keep her square pants?????

No knowing you you sold the mattress to a biology professor who now has his name on the discovery of DNA
DUUUUGGGGG NNNNNAAAAA URRGGGGGHHH!

Never mind the mattress did you burn the bed?

Why when a lady comes for a job interview with Royal does she end up collecting a full sample off the whole Unit????