Royal marries Jenny

[harry hackedoff]

One of the perks of me other day job is that I get to see all of the RMA and RNA bulletins for Oz and NZ and this ditty just landed on me desk.
Although from way before my time, it still rings a few bells
As it is sung to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean"(a famous Scottish lament) I thought it was only fair to dedicate this to our own Tommy Gunn and his loverly bride, wee Flo
All together now

Jenny Wren Bride

(Tune of "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean)

I've just come away from the wedding, Oh Lord I could laugh till I Cried
I'll never forget the relations I met When I married my Jenny Wren bride.

Chorus
Married, married, I married my Jenny Wren bri-i-de, married married, I married my Jenny Wren bride.

Her father he works in the dockyard, Her brother owns the Marine’s store
And as for their habits, well talk about rabbits, They've got half the dockyard ashore.

I asked her old man for a dowry, He gave me a can of soft soap,
A bundle of waste and some polishing paste And fifty six fathoms of rope

The present we got from her brother, Was fifty six yards of blue jean
Her cousin the Crusher, he sent us note paper, Six packets of Service Latrine

Her family hung flags in the churchyard, And they painted the hallway with flatting
When out stepped the Bride they all piped the side, And she tripped on the coconut matting

Her petticoat was made out of Hessian, Her knickers were made of green baize
While for her suspenders, she’d a motor boat’s fenders and two Pussers gaiters for stays.

Now, most of the church congregation Was made up of Wrens on the dole
While in the back pew was the six inch guns crew And half of the standing patrol

The parson got up in the pulpit, He said, "'Who gives this woman away?"
Then a bloke from the HOOD whispered: "Blimey, I could But let every dog have its day."

Well now, I'm just off on me honeymoon, I don't know what happens tonight,
But I've spoke to a few who declare that they do, And they swear that she's a bit of alright.

There`s lovely

[Sticky Blue]

Good effort Jed... A whole week of a sad on!
I did similar without the swamping and only had 2 days of crap. Sheer microwave intensity crap, gas mark 9

[Mike]

Hey... Glad to see that some of us are keeping the good old traditiond going
Aye
Mike

[flo]

Hmmmmm, IM NOT and he has the ordasity to say hes taking me away on the boat this weekend for our anniversary, then i discovered by chance that he has arranged to meet up with other friends (all male) at Doctorsee and we will be sailing down the Wasser together. Well im not going to be galley slave

Bloody wannabee matelots

[Sticky Blue]

But you could be

Well im not going to be galley slave

the hostess with the mostest!
Why not have the 'boys' run around after your every whim? Make it themed cruise, you can be Cleo on her barge and they can feed you and pamper you... might be a tad nippy for a Toga still!

[harry hackedoff]

`scuse me, I`s just gorn all moist

Flo, do tell
Did Tommo do the full map of Africa in the marital bed or was it a wee drop on the settee
Don`t you have wardrobes in your house then ffs

[flo]

No cause he shits in them

[harry hackedoff]

Let`s save the rest of this till you rock up in Oz, otherwise D.I.V.O.R.C.E. is looming

That`s my second fave gay karaoke number, btw.
After Stand By Your Man
Beefers queue up to buy me drinks after either Short hair, tee shirt, `tash, yee har
Even better down here with me brown hat

[flo]

We cant Divorce H, cause we keep argueing over who is going to have the sprogs So best we stay together.

[harry hackedoff]

And therefore my aim in the next forty minutes is to teach you the difference between swampers, dumpers and grand slammers so that you may perform your duty as Bedding Storemen, all the more efficiently.
Where the fark are you going Sullivan Somebody wake Thompson up ffs