Pull up a bollard and spin me a dit.

[OMSSMretd]

Starboard 10, its really quiet in this forum just wondered if anyone's got any good dits to spin. I cant help feeling us matelots dont get our share of the black catting pie.

[Sticky Blue]

Go on then Jack; we're waiting!

I once got chased by 2 reggies at the Royal Torment, gave them the slip but would have rather sliped one of them a length, she was a babe. The bloke was a right minger

[Delboy]

Just for you OMSSM.

HMS Tiger 1965, tied up alongside the main drag in Hamilton , Bermuda.

Because of the extremely narrow road's and a maximum speed limit of 20 mph on the Island, car's were restricted to just a few people so the mode of transport for the majority of the population was a moped.

First run ashore, and with the exception of the duty watchkeepers, most of the ship's company ( about 500 blokes ) made straight for the moped rental offices. With most of the guy's having never ridden any form of motorcycle and totally pissed out of their minds you can imagine the mayhem caused. Four up on a moped and unable to negotiate bend,s. Riding into shop's not knowing how to brake and generally terrorising the local's, not deliberately, just too rat arsed to comprehend.

The next morning ,the jetty was covered in mopeds left in all sorts of positions and about 10 were actually in the oggin, by the ship, which the ship's diver's had to recover.

Funnily enough, the Skipper put a block on renting moped's.

Next stop on our cruise was Peurta Rica and the Bacardi rum factory ,but that's another dit.

Del

[Dogwatch]

Swop my middle watch for your first dog

[JoJo82]

Imagine this:

2001, Baltops deployment. Been in Finland all of 3 days, most of the UW branch were on duty including me. Little did I know about being onboard as I had only joined a few months before hand.

Was bless with 2-8's gangway, obv. BM. 3am rolls around and I start hearing dits about 1 of the Wrens wanting a 5sum with some of the lads. Little Jenny wren stumbles up the gangway with 2 lads, instead of going through the hanger A/L she takes a wonder up top deck. 2 more lads stumble across the gangway worse than the lot before. 30 mins later, duty P.O (Our P.O. Sonar) comes up, looking pee'd off and enters a long dit in the log. As we read the events, it turns out that the said jenny was found on a chair naked in the Buffer's store with 3 other UW lads putting their clothes back on.

Sure enoguh our MAA and CO were not best pleased with the UW dept. for the rest of the deployment.

To cap it all off that was the start of our 6 months

Ah also, running aground in Norway.......................I had nothing to do with this, I was ops room and not bridge!

[OMSSMretd]

I feel I should apoligise for this short sighted thread, I was feeling a little bit low last night, a little cynical, and very very drunk. Thanks for posting guys Del boy the harbour at Ber-ma-doo must be a graveyard of moby's.
With different layers for different generations. Dogwatch cheers for that swop mate give me a chance to change the red and green oil in the port and stbd nav lights while its quiet.

[La Langosta]

jenny was found on a chair naked in the Buffer's store

Didn't know they had a special store onboard ships just for bollocky buff things.
Well you learnt summat new every day

[JoJo82]

jenny was found on a chair naked in the Buffer's store

Didn't know they had a special store onboard ships just for bollocky buff things.
Well you learnt summat new every day

Its called the "diving store"...............good for all things