The Mary Celeste/Flying Dutchman!!!!!!!!! (nee HMS Victory)

[Sticky Blue]

Tie her up Owdun and sling her round my midships... no, you might need a longer rope than that .
Stand by, 2, 6, heave, 2, 6, heave.

"How's that Clio? Got all the barnacles off? Oi loikes a rub down with a warm woman "

[Guest]

sling her round my midships... no, you might need a longer rope than that .

What you trying to say Stix???
Come on, out with it my man........No, NOT THAT!!!!! Put it away, it'll get you in trouble you know

[Artist]

Personally I think it needs a damn good rehash! Roses and castles on the Aft and naked ladies on the forepeak. (all done in the best possible taste mind)

Keele is near Stoke on Trent aint it? So Loz just hawl yerself to Keele and Stix will procede to hawl you around the village. I will inquire as to what the Wybunbury Beefers are doing and see if they fancy pulling you as well Loz.

There clean in their habits and are "Straight to the Point" (just wish the T shirts were clean is all)

Artist

[Dave.Mil]

gone

[Wholley]

Loz,
would that be beam to beam or bow to stern then?
Ooo-er.Fnah fnah,wibble wibble.
Wholley.

[harry hackedoff]

Watch the wall, my darlin, as the Gentlemen go by,
Them that asks no questions.........

[Sticky Blue]

Kin ell.

I thought this thread had gone down all hands.

[harry hackedoff]

It`s a ghost ship mate, you never know where or when she might turn up.
Scary, innit

[Skiffle]

Scary, innit

So the rumors the cabin boy spread where true

You can put it away now H, I think were scared enough now

Why oh why do people feel the need to show off the 'Black Spot'

[El Prez]

Flying spray, flapping tarpaulins and ropes ends, all abeam and drifting helplessly...................then Nurse found first gear.

All to sea that's going to sea.............away my beauty............

[El Prez]

I do hear that the modern day sailing ship thingy has had a tad of Mooootineeeeeee,
Now I'm not an 'ard task master, but Oi won't have it on one of this ere forum's ships.
So........if you be thinkin' to a yourself, tis ere mooooootineeeee is for me, think agin.

An' which one of you time wasters knicked my socks from the drying room?

[harry hackedoff]

Sorry, mate, it was I
I used them as a sort of receptical, like, to save staining me sheets.
Sobered up yet, El Vis

Ah huh huh
Onyers

[El Prez]

Notice in Pompey Evening News.
"For Sale, Commanders Bars and Bonnet."

Luckily his partner is a Barrister, he'll be needing her services methinks.

A Happy Ship is unusual, but as Tom says "It's not unusual, Delilah........tada ataddda adddadada daaaa, so before they come to take me away, forgive me delilah I just couldn't ...........

Sorry Nurse, was I singing? It must have been Angie's go on the Bar of Smiokie, the other night.

Helm hard a Lee, the W4nker.

[Skiffle]

Who gave El Prez access to the Rum Rations

You know we have to flog the cat-o-nine tails just to make up for the short fall.

Genuine Cat-o-nine tails fetch a good five beans on Ebay

Any volunteers to get the Cat-o-nine tails from Loz.........You know how she likes to cling on to that thing

[El Prez]

Now I be mentioning Mooootineeeeee before. i just received the following by carrier pigeon........splat....damn that bird.
From Plumbing News, it may not be true, but it made me smile, he sounds like Michael Palin in the Life of Brian.

The captain of a Royal Navy warship has been relieved of his command and ordered off his ship after crew members rebelled. Commander David Axon was ordered off HMS Somerset, a Type 23 frigate, as it returned from duty off Iraq. Crew members were said to be angry at Commander Axon's decision continually to play Abba tracks across the ship's tannoy system.

Sailors were initially amused when Commander Axon played Dancing Queen and Fernando to mark Bjorn Ulvaeus' birthday but that soon turned to anger when he instigated a regime of playing the entire Abba back catalogue on a continuous loop. Admiralty House learned of the unusual move and warned Commander Axon that the songs might prove a security risk while the ship was on manoeuvres.

The captain maintained however that it was his ship and that entertainment was his responsibility alone. Matters came to a head when Axon insisted on playing SOS over and over again and three frigates came to the ship's rescue. He was overpowered by eight members of his own crew and tied to the ship's deck where he sang a medley of hits until the warship docked in Gibraltar.