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About time the LC's sobered up and took charge of helm again

Best we don't let them navigate though

Altogether now,

What shall we do with the drunken Coxwain,
What shall we do with the drunken Coxwain........

What do you mean hang i'm from the yard arm ,
It'll never take the strain

And don't ask me who Helm is, and why they should take charge of him

Dit Dit Dah Dit - Dit Dit Dah - Dah Dit Dah Dit - Dah Dit Dah--Dah Dah Dah - Dit Dit Dah Dit - Dit Dit Dah Dit! you buggers!

I'm going home to my Mummy and taking my GOLDEN RIVET with me, so their!

Artist

Who shot that Albatross
C`mon, who was it
Bastards
She`s adrift Cap`n
(All sing) were you ever in Quebec, donkey riding donkey riding

That grey duck was luvvverly Loz, good shot Sir. (You are a Sir aren't you? Only some of the lads are getting definite tendencies and I wouldn't want their feelings hurt)

Now then lads, last one around the Capstan is a raging transexual with homoerotic tendencies....................well somebody must be able to run faster than a shambling wander, you can't all be last, take turns like you did with Mike O! I must go down to the sick-bay and check on the old ranger.

Look lively, here comes JR. Pocket billiards North Atlantic champion, the life and soul of the lower deck.
Heave him away from that barrel, let loose her forestays..............Loz, put that shirt on, nasty dose of mumps you got there. We're away.....flit

Oh no, not fish for dinner...

Time to scrape the barnacles off the bottom again!
That'd be the ship's bottom, not mine...

El Prez wrote:Loz, put that shirt on, nasty dose of mumps you got there.

Thems not mumps Cap'ain....them thaars goosebumps

Hoist the main brace and set sail!!!!
We're too close to the edge...according to Owdun's map it says "Here be Dragons"

Nooooooooooo!!! Don't give the map to Rotary Booty, we're bound to fall off the edge then. Anyway, he's quite happy with the Dandy

Thaaarrr she blows Cap'ain.................and we're off into the unknown

There's a good Rotary, nice boy, sit, eat it all up. Now very slowly, hand over the pretty drawing, Yes I know you found it; but let all the children have a look, now don't cry, and please stop tearing the scale.


There's a good lad. OK JR, put the HBM back on his wrists and tag an ankle to the Capstan, let him run off his virginity, that's if 'Massive Rod' can catch him.

Avast, stand-by to haul anchor, Rotary, on yer marks, get set.......Massive stop drooling, he'll slip...........go. Anchor clear already, good choice of Rotary for Capstan Bitch.

Left hand down a bit Cox'n. That's better; I think it's these new thongs the purser issued.
Away me hearties, finish your grog and then we'll have some tiddly winks.

BASSAS!

It's like trying to find a Sober Bootneck in an "All you can drink for a Quid" house of ill repute this bloody thread!

I'm taking me Pinnacle AND the compass.................So their!

Artist

Take the chart with you as well Artist,
cos between a woman and those two paraffin pigeon drivers, its not like its much bloody use to us

Do better than that Loz.

I'll burn the bloody lot! Yee Har! Ya Buggers!

"Mum wheres the box of matches?"

"O, Alright then Mum, can you do it for me please"

"Awww Mum! that was me only copy of Soldier of Fortune!"

Artist

Cancel all shore leave me hearties.

Haul anchor, set the sails and stop roger the cabin boy

Stop him from what I don't know

Artist, Return the Pinnacle and the Compass, as you'll agree it will be needed.

The crew of 'The Harlot' is waiting to be taken. And we must make haste if we are to catch them in this wind.

http://www.kipar.org/society/author/pirates/index.html

There be many treasures on this ship, thats just right for the taking.

The bounty rewards high lads, are you with me?

Skiffle

Sorry mate. But I sold them to this Hoo Ray Henry yesterday for £15.

He reckons they are just what his 40 foot canal boat needed. Adds a touch of class to the whole boat so he says. (anyway I got them out of a Jamboree Bag last year)

Artist

I'd better tie the Long Boat back up then.

Was gonna slip away in the dead of night and take them all by myself (The boat not the women).

Then I could have had all the bountiful treasure to me'self (The women not the boat)

She`s askin fer permision to lie alongside


best be carefull with that knife, darlin, oo argh

`Ere, wind`s gettin up, time we slipped away agin you lubbers