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My dad stole an empty ammo box from camp once.

joethejudge wrote:My dad stole an empty ammo box from camp once.

Shyte man, and they wasted all those man hours looking for the Great train robbers, your old man was one hell of a lucky guy

An MOD Police tilley van complete with 2 Alsation dogs.
Shame I left it outside my MQ really. (the buses had stopped running after 2330hrs) As it was just sat there near the Octogon, Union Strasse decided that it would save me the bother of Queing for a Taxi. An intresting few days followed mind.

Artist

Proffed the worlds biggest guiness carpet from a boozer in oban while supporting RMR mountain jolly

I got told they had a large pissed carpet zig zagging down the road on cctv,it would only be a matter of time before they worked it out and the boss was out for blood......

found out the CCTV bit was a bite but got collared putting carpet back

Nice carpet shame really

The original barracks bell from Infirmary Barracks . Its not very big but it does weigh in at 32 pounds with a pussers inscription on it . I found it in my bed along with a rose bush after celebrating the Corps birthday at Deal

Even though I had brought her flowers Pash was not impressed with dirt from bush all over house when she got in from work even less impressed to find hole in bedroom floor where the thing nearly went through.

I don't know how it got in my pit, I expect some thieving git put it there at the same time as they threw my clothes all over the place. It was just as well that I was able to look after it from then on, the very next day I discoverered that the aforsaid item was being lined up to being halflinched by the thieving MT section, so I am looking after a nice piece of Corps history.

Pincher Martin (D) dripped like hell when he came round the house for a drink, to see it cleaned up and on its plinth in the fireplace really got him going and right up to his death he was still dripping about it. I gave him a picture of it just to keep him happy.

Dolly

Dolly... GOOD EFFORT ROYAL!!!!!
The Swiftsure Bell is with a Cadet unit now... rekon you can get that for me or do you want a pair

Biggest inanimate object was a compressor of the kind the council use to power pneumatic drills etc.
We couldn't understand why the Guard Cmdr wouldn't let us into camp (Deal) with it.We left it outside the Green Beret,bit of a give away I suppose!.
Biggest living thing was a 500 pound Hereford Bull,we had to bring the twat about two miles through hedgerows and across a stream so that it could shag the heifers on my Dads farm (couldn't afford a bull of our own).By the time its owner turned up to collect it,(we took a couple of days to tell him that it had 'wondered' over to our place) it had shagged itself stupid.
Well thats it,confession over,saved myself a trip to church!!.

SH

No you go for Swiftsure sticks, I get enough grief every Corps birthday without having that thing in the front room.

As for large live objects - I proffed the address of a gronk writing to another member of 41 when we were in NI. During RNR I popped in to see Janet of Richmond (blind date) very very very big lady - Mills & Boons reader, manic depressive and obssesed by having sex using large strange objects, just the thing for Royal thinks me, well pissed.

Requirements for this lady were bootneck sense of humour x2 , head for heights, pussers planks to stop getting sucked in or falling in depending on what position you were in and the ability to breath through your mouth and ears. Mega sense of humour failure when waking up next to it sober! still shudder thinking about it.

Smallest live object - a penguin - vicious bastard thing which shit all over the place and the sgt majors office where we put it for safe keeping overnight .


D

I can just imagine all the Royal Marines Police and the Red Caps having a field day over this lot, just have a glimp through the curtains next time theres a knock at the door they could be coming for, you!

Dolly, what pictures you paint.
I can almost smell Big Janet, from your description

Harry

In normal people it is called guilt but I know the shudder feeling is something that is shared by all of us who share the same badge, especially when you remember some of the bad things you have done, proffing, gronks, and the really ugly. I get it every time I cross the bridge at Deal station or pass the Green Berry (correct spelling now)

Soon wears off though!

What I really want to know who was the miserable twat who proffed Gus Honeybunnys head.

Dolly

A Tels Tech with a passion for reptiles once proffed a fully grown iguana lizard from a petshop in the states. Jacksonville, Florida. Don't ask how, it just happened after a rather good DTS was had by said Tels Tech.

He shoved it in a cardboard box and fed it anything that came to hand. One night the bloody thing broke loose and scared the crap out of everyone on the messdeck. Chit chats? No problems with them. But a fully grown Iguana lizard with attitude and an appetite let loose on a messdeck full of sleeping Bootnecks?

God but it hissed! One bloke was hanging off the top bunk screaming like a Banshee! I thought it was hilarious and had tears running down me cheeks.

"It's not Funny!" I was told.
"Yes it F**king well is!" I replied.

Jack found out and said Lizard was removed to the confines of the Master at Arms office until we tied up again and then Jack handed it over to the Yanks version of the RSPCA.

Once the Tels Tech left the mob he got a job in the states fitting out the radios for ocean going yaughts. This time he bought a Moniter lizard and tried to smuggle it onboard an airliner. But once again it all went tits up!
The suitcase he shoved it in gave up the ghost and apparently this suitcase was seen legging it along the Airport lounge with a reptillian leg sticking out of each corner with said Tels Tech chasing it in the vain hope that nobody would notice! O where are you now Stanley!?

Artist

This is all priceless

Biggest thing me and my friends ever hunted (trophy hunting from tour) was an eight foot clown from a fun-fair it takes pride of place in our rugby club now...


Happy days...

lew

I know a guy who proffed a Ronald MacDonald from Maccy D's. Only thing was, that this particular Ronald MacDonald was alive!

Apparantly, ol' Ronald was returned after Maccy D's complied with the fellas demand that they donated some money to a charity (can't remember which one).

Oddly enough, the chap that did it was ex-bootie.

Ahoy there!
In the early/mid eighties, shortly after 40 arrived in Taunton, one of the Rambo films was being shown at the local cinema in the town centre. The cinema had, above the foyer entrance, displayed a huge plywood cutout of a huey helicopter.
A few beers for a bit of Dutch courage and the chopper was in the grots! I hasten to add that I was not responsible for this but did see the culprits legging it to-wards the taxi rank with the stolen item. In broad daylight no less and on a Sunday to boot. Shameful.