:(:() and a cat. The dog was called Skippy 
and my cat is called Molly.MM
Share This Page:
How To Clean Your Toilet - The Fun Way
-
bootneck
- Guest
MM, couldn`t you have the moggie put down as well? that would be one less for the arena though wouldn`t it. the only good cat is a dead cat, preferably under the front wheels of that wagon i driveminimac wrote:I love dogs too. I had a dog (who we had to put down
MM
-
Andy O'Pray
- Member
- Posts: 3189
- Joined: Thu 06 Dec, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: www
-
Frank S.
- Guest
-
Wholley
- Guest
I'm with Bootneck on this one.
We don't own a cat,but have few wild ones in the barn.
The dogs and I have fun on the odd cat cull.
Davo,how can you not like horses?
I met my current wife in NH where she had a live-in cat.
Little shit would wait for her to get in the shower in the morning and then attack me.
I kicked it out of the bedroom so hard one time that it hit the wall with such a thud that she heard it over the shower water"Sweetie,that wasn't the cat was it that just bounced off the wall?""No Hon of course not"
Not long after that it I took it for"walkies" or more correctly"chuckies"off the mountain"Have you seen the cat hon?""Fraid not sweetie"
Wholley.
We don't own a cat,but have few wild ones in the barn.
The dogs and I have fun on the odd cat cull.
Davo,how can you not like horses?
I met my current wife in NH where she had a live-in cat.
Little shit would wait for her to get in the shower in the morning and then attack me.
I kicked it out of the bedroom so hard one time that it hit the wall with such a thud that she heard it over the shower water"Sweetie,that wasn't the cat was it that just bounced off the wall?""No Hon of course not"
Not long after that it I took it for"walkies" or more correctly"chuckies"off the mountain"Have you seen the cat hon?""Fraid not sweetie"
Wholley.
-
bootneck
- Guest
Marina, not while I`m around they don`tMarina wrote:Hi Bootneck
I wouldn't underestimate the power of the feline specie
They have 9 lives you know !
Curiously, has anyone ever tasted cat meat ? I heard it tastes like chicken.
Thats Fowl
Wholley, well done mate, still in tears now, pity you couldn`t find a nice bear and...............yes!! result.
Rob, RAT? thats a heat seeking Ferret
-
Wholley
- Guest
-
Frank S.
- Guest
-
Wholley
- Guest
-
bootneck
- Guest
How To Give A Cat A Pill:
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill:
1) Wrap it in bacon
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill:
1) Wrap it in bacon
Chaos, Disorder, Destruction.....My work here is done!
*****
"The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. --- Alan Ashley Pitt"
*****
Why can't you accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
*****
"The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. --- Alan Ashley Pitt"
*****
Why can't you accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
-
Wholley
- Guest
