Reverse and Kill, more like
You couldn`t write this stuff could you
Go and have a drink you two, and get well soon, Opps
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What is a small house fire between friends?
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harry hackedoff
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flighty
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Well, the 'nice' lady at Norwich Union has just interrogated me for twenty minutes and I am a jibbering wreck!
Why did I not phone before? I did bloody phone on Saturday but as the house phone was on mute and the geezer on the other end couildn't hear me I gave it up as a bad job and left it till the daughter put the phone right.
What is the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! made of? How the fark should I know?
What is the damage to the hob? It's farked!
Have you treid to clean up? Yes, a bit, so's we can actually eat. Oooooh, you shouldn't have done that. It needs specialist attention. You've probably made it worse.
Attila the Hen or what?
Going for a lie down in a darkened room.
''Quote me happy?'' My arse!
Jayne x
Why did I not phone before? I did bloody phone on Saturday but as the house phone was on mute and the geezer on the other end couildn't hear me I gave it up as a bad job and left it till the daughter put the phone right.
What is the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! made of? How the fark should I know?
What is the damage to the hob? It's farked!
Have you treid to clean up? Yes, a bit, so's we can actually eat. Oooooh, you shouldn't have done that. It needs specialist attention. You've probably made it worse.
Attila the Hen or what?
Going for a lie down in a darkened room.
''Quote me happy?'' My arse!
Jayne x
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flighty
- Guest
So, the loss adjustor finally made it round after a week and a half of us living in Dracula's cave.
Not one nook, not one cranny was left uninspected. Oooh, the embarassment.
(Made me feel better when she confessed to pulling the curtains when the window cleaner calls.)
Anyway, upshot is, she was horrified that we had been left in such a state and has kicked ass on my behalf.
Sounds as if we will be professionally cleaned from top to bottom, redecorated throughout, carpets cleaned and if the burned units can't be cleaned / matched up, new I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!!
And apparently it isn't my poor housekeeping which had left every square inch of ceiling festooned with Gothic spiders' webs. Fires actually cause them.
She drew the line at me throwing Ben's wrecked Fiat on the pyre, however. Said we would never have got it through the door.
Jayne x
Not one nook, not one cranny was left uninspected. Oooh, the embarassment.
(Made me feel better when she confessed to pulling the curtains when the window cleaner calls.)Anyway, upshot is, she was horrified that we had been left in such a state and has kicked ass on my behalf.
Sounds as if we will be professionally cleaned from top to bottom, redecorated throughout, carpets cleaned and if the burned units can't be cleaned / matched up, new I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!!! And apparently it isn't my poor housekeeping which had left every square inch of ceiling festooned with Gothic spiders' webs. Fires actually cause them.
She drew the line at me throwing Ben's wrecked Fiat on the pyre, however. Said we would never have got it through the door.
Jayne x
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Artist
- Guest
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flighty
- Guest
The polite young man from the cleaning company has just left after negotiating his way round the House of Horrors.
He reckons two days of hard graft from a team of professionals will sort the rest of the house out, carpets, walls, surfaces, suite etc. The I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! itself sounds more and more like a total refit. Curtains etc are all off to the dry cleaners.
Bit of an extreme way to get meself out of spring cleaning, though but.
I refused to subject his poor staff to the nightmare of the glory-hole under the stairs ..... I will sort that out meself .... one day.
Best get cleaning then. I couldn't bear the shame of proper cleaners seeing what might be stuffed down the side of the sofa or what there might be stashed at the back of the wardrobe!
Jayne x
Hmmmm .... new for old. Wonder how they are fixed for Italian footballers.
He reckons two days of hard graft from a team of professionals will sort the rest of the house out, carpets, walls, surfaces, suite etc. The I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! itself sounds more and more like a total refit. Curtains etc are all off to the dry cleaners.
Bit of an extreme way to get meself out of spring cleaning, though but.
I refused to subject his poor staff to the nightmare of the glory-hole under the stairs ..... I will sort that out meself .... one day.
Best get cleaning then. I couldn't bear the shame of proper cleaners seeing what might be stuffed down the side of the sofa or what there might be stashed at the back of the wardrobe!
Jayne x
Hmmmm .... new for old. Wonder how they are fixed for Italian footballers.
Last edited by flighty on Wed 01 Mar, 2006 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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flighty
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sneaky beaky
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flighty
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Oh, the shame of it!
The cleaners have been in today and my house is the cleanest it's been since we moved in in 1984.
I told the boss guy the areas to avoid, such as the knife drawer (full of corks and bottle tops,) the fireplace ... ditto, the cupboard under the sink ( ) under my bed ( ) Holy fark ..... I am just sooooo relieved I haven't met these poor buggers face to face. A grand total of 22 corks discovered in the living room! Knickers and chocolate wrappers under the bed. Long lost photos of pissed up mates ....
Every square inch of no 6 is shiny. No cat shit behind the telly or anythink!
My chum, Nigel, has suggested we have a house fire every spring to save me the bovver!
Just need the decorators and builders in now.
Guess how MY school hols will be spent this year?
Jayne xx
The cleaners have been in today and my house is the cleanest it's been since we moved in in 1984.
I told the boss guy the areas to avoid, such as the knife drawer (full of corks and bottle tops,) the fireplace ... ditto, the cupboard under the sink (
) under my bed ( ) Holy fark ..... I am just sooooo relieved I haven't met these poor buggers face to face. A grand total of 22 corks discovered in the living room! Knickers and chocolate wrappers under the bed. Long lost photos of pissed up mates ....Every square inch of no 6 is shiny. No cat shit behind the telly or anythink!
My chum, Nigel, has suggested we have a house fire every spring to save me the bovver!
Just need the decorators and builders in now.
Guess how MY school hols will be spent this year?
Jayne xx
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flighty
- Guest
SO seven weeks after the event and we are still living in abject squalor.
The reparations chaps turned up this morning and have left a firkin' great list of jobs to be done and stuff to be replaced.
Well, I knew that, we all knew that ..... we just need some ruddy ACTION!
Sticky / Doc ./Aitch and all you other 'Chit Meisters' do you think I might get a fortnight in the Maldives off the insurance while the hairy-arsed guys are in to sort out?
Jayne xx
The reparations chaps turned up this morning and have left a firkin' great list of jobs to be done and stuff to be replaced.
Well, I knew that, we all knew that ..... we just need some ruddy ACTION!
Sticky / Doc ./Aitch and all you other 'Chit Meisters' do you think I might get a fortnight in the Maldives off the insurance while the hairy-arsed guys are in to sort out?
Jayne xx
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Doc
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flighty
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Doc
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