TDF

[harry hackedoff]

Bonjour mes amis, it`s that time of the year again.
The greatest cycle race on the planet has been in full swing for a week now and what a fantastic spectacle it`s been despite Lance’s retirement and the absence of some of the other big names like Ulrich etc, due to doping allegations.
Stage six yesterday was great and today’s time trial was gripping to watch.
As per usual, me old mucker Phil Ligget makes the thing so much more interesting because of his inside knowledge on the commentary. Ably assisted by Lofty Sherman, he is what makes the race for me.
He has his own version of Colemanballs( called "Liggetisms") and "suitcase full of courage" is a favourite. And "he`s calling the engine room but there’s no steam left" He`s a card tut.
If you not a road biker or you ain`t a fan then you’re dipping out here because the race is always amazing and the French turn out in droves to watch it. Week one complete and there’s two more yet including the gruelling Pyrenees and Alpine stages.

Next year the TDF kicks off in London which will be great.
If you are a fan, you can probably catch Phil on Channel Four.
Here’s the Tour De France website, check it out


http://www.letour.fr/indexus.html

[harry hackedoff]

Here`s a site dedicated to Phil
http://www.liggettfan.com/main.htm

"The little man with the big heart" Description for anyone under 6 foot (including Abdu', Laurent Roux)
"He's wearing the mask of pain" Referring to any rider with a grimace (usually suffering up a climb.)
"To wear the yellow jersey is to mingle with the gods of cycling"
"Having been robbed of the day's prize, you'll notice the big sprinters aren't at the front, sharpening their legs. THEY ONLY LIKE TO WIN - YOU KNOW!!"
"And that is a big surprise, I really thought his legs had left him behind a few kilometers back, but you see: He's French, its Bastille day, and all of a sudden, they're 1000 meters from the finish. "
"Well, I think you bring out something special in a rider when you throw in a few cobble stones!"

[harry hackedoff]

Kermit Calzati just pinched the long down-hill 8th stage into Lorient and the old harbour looked fantastic in the afternoon sunshine. Bit of a sprint for second and third positions with the peloton right up their arses but the real winner was fourth place man, Robbie McEwen . Robby is an Oz who rides full-time in Europe and is an adopted Belgique.
He`s looking good after week one, chipping away there with three stage wins under his belt. The race is won on total cumulative time and it`s all about consistency, you can win the race without ever winning a stage.
This year’s race is absolutely wide open and the reputations of some of the younger riders will be made in these next two weeks and I`m loving it

[harry hackedoff]

Fugging talking to meself again
Ver long haul today, Bordeaux to Dax 170 Klicks or just over the hundred of your English miles. Killer finish again, with the top sprinters in the sport trying to make a bit of time before the mountains. McEwen was there again at the dash for the line but he was boxed in .His explosive power is staggering and he was beaten by a tyre width. Amazing bloke.
We`ll see tomorrow, mind. Those big hills are the killers and it`s sure to change over the next couple of days.
The telemetry off the riders is mind blowing, like F1 cars they are wired and info like percentage of maximum heartbeat, total power generated in Watts, sponsorship cash in Yen etc are all relayed to Ligget and he reels it all off like he knows wtf he`s on about
If you ain`t watching it girls, you`re seriously dipping out You`ll learn stacks about fitness, commitment and race tactics. And you get to see a lot of nice arses, for all you beefers out there

[Frank S.]

And you get to see a lot of nice arses, for all you beefers out there

I find this hard to get into, for some reason...

[harry hackedoff]

Soiree, Grand Per(is that spelling corekt?)
Le Tour does wonders for French Tourism, Frank.
I am perplexed as to why there are no female entrants though?
Is it because they are shite at endurance events and no way equal to men or am I being mysoginist again?
Who cares. It`s still the world`s toughest cycling race and just being in it is an astonishing achievement.
A Bientot, mon ami (how do you spell "chuice" )

[Frank S.]

Soiree, Grand Per(is that spelling corekt?)
Le Tour does wonders for French Tourism, Frank.
I am perplexed as to why there are no female entrants though?
Is it because they are shite at endurance events and no way equal to men or am I being mysoginist again?
Who cares. It`s still the world`s toughest cycling race and just being in it is an astonishing achievement.
A Bientot, mon ami (how do you spell "chuice" )

Grand pere.... I think the TDF's too long for women to compete into without developping, ermmm, one of those chronic, ermm, yeastie problems.
Ahem.
Paris-Roubaix's shorter and not as well known outside Europe, but it's pretty brutal as I recall.... I could see women in Paris-Roubaix perhaps, but TDF's too drawn out.
And it's "cuisse" not chuice...

[harry hackedoff]

merci, mon ami,

I`m freezing me tits off here, it`s two degrees tonight, 01 20 local brrrr
Bloody good to see the French summer and tres nostalgique, n`est pas
bientot,
cuisse

[Frank S.]

Clock this flick iffen you can, it's not bad for animation: "the triplettes of Belleville"...

[harry hackedoff]

Bonjour, tout le monde
Another belter today, bloody fantastique, n`est pas?
It`s still wide open and we’ve had five leaders so far! More each day, I can see the hole left by Armstrong. He was the best there ever was, better than Eddie Merkxx or Jaques Anquetille ever were. In the ninety years of Le Tour there has never been anyone came even close to the big Texan. He is the best ever.

First taste of the mountains today with a couple of wee climbs and the lads stretching their legs into Pau. Bit scary on the descent through the clouds,but.
Tomorrow is a killer day with five serious climbs which will blow away all but the very best. Then it`s off down the old cote d`azur for a spot of thirty-odd degrees before the last week back in the mountains and the killer Alp D`Huez beckoning
Some terrific camera work on today’s etage really showed the Pyrenees to dramatic effect. On some turns if you come off, you really come off and it`s free fall without a `chute
Nice details today, like the domestics filling up with water to dish out to the team or the bike mechanic sorting out the prob with some geezer’s bike. He was hanging out of the back window of the team car, with head and shoulders through the frame of Lofty`s bike as he altered the tension on the changer on the front clanger. As Ligget said, "Don’t try this at home"
In a couple of days we`ll see Bastille Day and every French rider will go nuts, they luvsit when a Frog wins the Bastille Day stage
Oi luvzit, oi duz
See the old devil was out there again today, soft cnut
This is sport, girls

[Doc]

Im missing the old Tour this year sadly, then again lance is retired so poke it!

I went to watch it once when I escaped kraut land, smashing time. Im actually selling me Trek bike for 1200 squids if anyones keen? got a signed armstrong book and jersey to? no?? fark orf then!

I prefer eurosport and sean kellys tones that send you to sleep as soon as he says "well then, to be sure!"

Anyways H are you back in Oz? safe to come out yet is it??

[harry hackedoff]

Depends what you mean by "come out"

[harry hackedoff]

Five decent climbs today sorted the girls out, not many Just wait till they get over to the Alps
Maillot Jeunne changed hands from Kermit to Elmer, which will piss the French off no end. The winner of the yellow jersey has to be beaten by no more than 4 min 30 sec to keep the shirt and he was just fifteen seconds outside, after six plus hours of riding in the mountains. Leader in the King of the Mountains changed again, today and it`s still wide open. Young OZ bloke finished in fourth today which made all the top news, forget Lebanon Iraq or Moombai, an Aussie is fourth in the TDF
Tomorrow`s smallie yomp finishes in Carcassonne. I had a cracking Omelette Paisan and a decent bottle of Cotes de Bonne Village there, one hot dusty afternoon in July 02. I can smell the lavender as I type I miss France. And The Nederlands,and Spain,Denmark and Norge.
Down here it`s wall to wall Aussies. Nice blokes mind, don`t get me wrong. They wouldn`t know a decent Omellette Paisan if I hit them with it
Still, sun, sea sand and surfey chicks makes it all about perfect I reckon
Anyhow girls, here`s the stages and a nice map

P Saturday, July 1st 7,1 km Strasbourg (TT)
1 Sunday, July 2nd 184,5 km Strasbourg > Strasbourg
2 Monday, July 3rd 228,5 km Obernai > Esch-sur-Alzette
3 Tuesday, July 4th 216,5 km Esch-sur-Alzette > Valkenburg
4 Wednesday, July 5th 207 km Huy > Saint-Quentin
5 Thursday, July 6th 225 km Beauvais > Caen
6 Friday, July 7th 189 km Lisieux > Vitré
7 Saturday, July 8th 52 km Saint-Grégoire > Rennes (TT)
8 Sunday, July 9th 181 km Saint-Méen-le-Grand > Lorient
R Monday, July 10th Rest day - Bordeaux
9 Tuesday, July 11th 169,5 km Bordeaux > Dax
10 Wednesday, July 12th 190,5 km Cambo-les-Bains > Pau
11 Thursday, July 13th 206,5 km Tarbes > Val d'Aran - Pla-de-Beret
12 Friday, July 14th 211,5 km Luchon > Carcassonne
13 Saturday, July 15th 230 km Béziers Méditerranée > Montélimar
14 Sunday, July 16th 180,5 km Montélimar > Gap
R Monday, July 17th Rest day
15 Tuesday, July 18th 187 km Gap > L'Alpe d'Huez
16 Wednesday, July 19th 182 km Bourg d'Oisans > La Toussuire
17 Thursday, July 20th 200,5 km Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne > Morzine
18 Friday, July 21st 197 km Morzine-Avoriaz > Mâcon
19 Saturday, July 22nd 57 km Le Creusot > Montceau-les-Mines (TT)
20 Sunday, July 23rd 154,5 km Sceaux-Antony > Paris Champs-Élysées
TOTAL 3 657,1 km

[harry hackedoff]

Some blokes on bikes today
That`s about it really

Five klicks to go, today, and young Ivan starts chucking the big hits on the breakaway group. Each time they struggled to get back in contact with him. By which time he`s recovered and he`s ready for his next attack. After four killer shots they had nothing left and the young Ukrainian was gone. His first etage win and a brilliant tactical lesson. When I was running I loved beating better runners by being more tactically aware That`s how he did it today, kin brills finish
Races aren`t won with your legs, they are won with your brain. Forget chess, this race is the ultimate mental challenge
Overall the Aussies are really still in there and are expected to do well once the climbs start later next week. Dunno who else looks like a big climber, not many.

Carcassonne looked fantastique in the afternoon haze before a big thunderstorm cooled things down. I recognised the street layout from me jolly there and was savouring those cold seize cent soixante quatres in a pavement bar Magnifique
Le vin, de pan et Boursin, eh?

I can`t help it, I`m Australian I miss France

[terryrat]

How can you say that : Jacques Anquetil was not in the same league as armstrong i think it is an insult to both riders given the number of years different. The whole tour is so more commercial now to when : Jacques Anquetil raced they still stopped at the cafes in his days and never had the help they get today