On the fence. All or nothing.

[Mark5]

Hello guys,

Looking to join HM Armed Forces.

Been working on improving fitness out of commonsense. Need to work on endurance and upper body strenght. It's hard.

I have some questions, I did write up a lenghtly posting then the Laptop crashed, so I keep it short.

How can I break the news to my Mother and relatives?

How can I build bonds with other guys?

I'm sorry if these seem trivial. Appropriately, I'm seen as timid. But never am always. If me and the guys get along, why should I be on the quite side.

I am not sure when and how to break the news and how are my relatives going to take me seriously. Perhaps on the day of the ADSC when I have my hair shortened.

Male bonding is always been something I havn't had the luxury of. It's going to a challenge.

I be off to the recruitment/careers office soon.

[onetwothree]

Hey mate,

I've just joined to reply to you (freaky, eh?). Well I'm in the application process at the moment and I recommend you sit your family and any other close ones and tell them your intentions. It's best to get it out in the open as soon as possible if you ask me.

If it's your first time visiting the careers office then it could still be months and months away before you actually go away.

Regarding the bonding: just be yourself and don't think of it as a task - it will come naturally.

I hope that helps!

[Tab]

The tougher things get, then you will find that every one sticks together like sh!t on a blanket.

[MSI64]

Once you get that bond its there for life.
I have mates I dont see for three or four years and as soon as we meet up, within ten minutes we are waffling Shit and its like we never left each other.

[Mark5]

Thanks 123,

Mentally daughting to tell your Mother that you want to join up.

It's what she make of it that concerns me. I don't want her to think it for the wrong reason.

[Mark5]

C. Lee,

You rewatch Star Wars movies?

I'm 22 and raised by my Mother.

I consider the opinions of others about my decisions.

Strange enough, but this little "concern" of mine isn't doing me much good. I need to step it up.

Regards

Andre

[MSI64]

I joined at 16 ! I wasn't raised by anybody ! Social Services had to sign to let me in !

My appologies, I was not advising you to disrespect your mothers feelings about it. That is not quite what I meant. But still, at the end of the day it is your life and your decision and at 22 you must choose the path that you wish to take in life. Discipline is a good path to life and the armed forces is a good place to get discipline.

Please forgive me as I do not wish to be indiscreet on a forum; it may be a sensitive subject for you. You say you were raised by your mother. This indicates an absence of father. Could this be the root of the male bonding difficulty ?
Daniel

I really wish you would stop with the the bold, people come on here fro advice not a shrink session.

[Mark5]

"Please forgive me as I do not wish to be indiscreet on a forum; it may be a sensitive subject for you. You say you were raised by your mother. This indicates an absence of father. Could this be the root of the male bonding difficulty ?"

That's quite right. I remember when I was at school I was late in finding a room on a Social Education day and the class was nothing but guys. I walked in, they laughed and I walked out.

It also beens that I am not confident to walk around with no tshirt or shorts. It's crazy, that I know.

[liam115]

dont worrie i am abit like you and i just kinda said "by the way i went to the army recruitment office and in thinking about joining the army" and well my parents werent happy lol my sister actually tired to bin my application form. but now a few months later they have settled down about it and know that it is my choice and that its what i want to do. (they still think im mad for going in the army in the middle of a war though).

also im abit on the quiet side (dont like talking in front of a group of people or getting to know new people) so im not looking forward to the icebreaker but the way i think of it is the worst thing i can do is make an a$$ of myself and even then people will forget about it in a few mins when the next person dose theres. Anyway im not exactly Mr social because all i do is sit at home and play on my xbox so i dont drink i dont go to clubs and im sad to say iv never had a girlfriend really the only time i talk to people is when im at work or if iv gone the cinema with a friend o and when im playing computer games online.

[Mark5]

Liam,

You sound "social".

You sound like the typical guy.

I have an Xbox.

Your slim right?

(Guessing)

[Kythe]

Hey Guys, just stumbled across this thread and thought i would contribute

im not very social either so like liam i am also not looking forward to the ice breaker, i used to get very anxious round lots of new people but this has recently calmed down which im glad of

i do think i will have difficulty bonding with other people as i prefer to be alone and am not the most talkative but when push comes to shove i can collaborate with others.

and also i guess telling your family that your joining the army can be difficult for some, but if you have an understanding family then it could be easier just gotta be assertive i guess. i know when i told my parent they werent to bothered untill i said i wanted to do infantry then my mother tried to steer to do something else and my gran still doesnt want me to go in - said she hopes i break my legs in phase 1 i guess you cant please everyone eh

so if i had to offer any advice i would probably just say give it your best shot because you never know how it could turn out


kythe

[MSI64]

I admire your honesty Liam115. It think it takes great courage for people to open up and be honest about themselves on an internet forum where your words are open to scrutiny from all and sundry.

I don't know about the british army of today, but when I served the attitude was always get a grip and pull your socks up !

Many soldiers I considered beasts ! There were very very few who had any kind of understanding for peoples problems. I recall a young recruit whose father had passed away. The training staff discussed how to break the news to him.
"All those who have a father take one place forward!" the Sgt said to the three ranks in front of him. Everyone stepped forward.
"Not you,yours died today !" the SGT said to the unfortunate recruit.

must have been a big parade as I have heard this story time and time again from many many people claiming to have heard it

I once saw a SGT come to the food queue, fling a recruit out of the way and take his place chuckling to himself. I was only fresh out of training myself, but my blood boiled and it took all my strength to not go up to the SGT and try and fling him out of the way and tell the poor recruit to retake his place in the queue.

This I doubt unless you joined in the time of Wellington

I saw soldiers drinking their own urine because they thought they were hard.

Very possible have seen it done

Old sweats never welcomed sprogs and took them under their wings to teach them the ropes. They were treated almost with disdain.

you must have been in the wrong trade I had lots of teachers and was
welcomed as one of the guys immediatly

I was once beasted in front of sprogs by a glaswegian SSGT simply because I had a german girlfriend !
"Get doon yer little shite and start doin' prresssups ! Tha'll tich yer fer gooen oot wetha twest an shoot an' a brrussel sproot !"(Twist and shout=Kraut. Brussel sprout=Kraut)

And you didnt report this????

I have never forgotten that episode and others like it. It leaves a mark.

I saw a L/Cpl taken into custody and sent to a funny farm because he'd gone mad over a period of time while stagging on at the desk in the Guardroom !

Again I find this hard to believe

I knew guys who were alcoholics and pad shaggers. Humping whores was considered normal. (Which it is prostitution is even legal in some counntries )There was wife swapping, going on at Gibralter Barracks but it stopped when one guy went too far and had his own daughter !

Another urban legend

The Padre took his pyjama's with him to the first Gulf war !

In my last posting in Iserlohn a Sapper was doing time in the Guardroom. He managed to get his hand behind the cage holding the Browning pistols,grabbed one and stuck it to the head of the next guy who came into his cell,threatened to kill him, and then set fire to his mattress. He was doused with a fire hose through the window before a squad was sent in with SA80's to rescue his poor hostage. I kid you not !

Utter Bull

I witnessed and was on the receiving end of bullying.

Pleasde define bullying?

I was chosen to guard a L/Cpl being Court Martialed for beating up 7 guys after returning from the gulf. While pending Court Martial he was posted to where I was based and he almost killed me ! But it was hushed up. Destiny is a strange thing !

So you were RP Staff??? I also doubt it was hushed upThose are just a few of many stories. I did actually meet some very good and kind people in the army,but they were few.

Those who had no understanding were those who had the most problems !

Those who open up and talk about their wounds and weaknesses are braver and more humble than those who are shallow and have no compassion or understanding.

I still miss the Army to this day and would love to return. I just hope soldiers have become more human.

I guess from this forum that some of them have.

Daniel

I have to go to work now but will post my response later when I have some time

[Fusilier]

I have posted this before.........................



I remember when my granddad was murdered. I was in Catterick.


Anyway the CSM says sorry ****** but these things happen.

The shi*. No leave nothing. So I go back to my room start packing and let the section commander know I am going home and they can do what they want when I return. Now he did mention that they could stop me before I went. I looked at him and said that anyone who tired that would never have another sound nights sleep. At that precious time I would have given up everything to go and see a man I loved buried.

Anyway about 3 hours later I got a message to report for my transport docs. The only reason I had no left yet was because I was going to slip out at the end of the day.

Never knew what was said and it could have just been a change of heart by the CSM.


In training I not only saw an iron put on the chest of another recruit but also darts throw at another. Plenty of kicks and punches were also dished out.

Saw it with my own eyes and was given a nice little taste.

[Mark5]

It's a shame that the topic of discussion has deviated from the topic of this thread.

It's about polite discussion, not personal slander.

I though't the responces were serious ones, no defamatory remarks.

[Mark5]

Kythe,

Thanks for your contribution. Evey little thought helps to make a better man.

It seems to be the case that the sporty guys have no problem with social interaction, but any guy with "intelligence" is withdrawn.

Maslow's theory of needs specifiy that lower needs have to be fulfilled before we can properly develop higher needs. Social aspects are higher up then security but lower then self-esteem.

Personally, I'm starting to see that most slim, toned guys and overweight guys who want to join up have this "inherited" quality. The more time people give their contributions, not matter how small it all helps.

Andre