Any stories of fun on parade ?
Big Al was a great lad. Massive arms and spent years boxing. Good natured but unfortunately some mental problems came to the foreground. I heard he later had himself committed. Very sad. However when he was just starting to go “a bit off” we would find him just standing and staring at things. Nobody knew how bad it was at the time.
Airborne Forces day, Aldershot. Beautiful day. Band was on top form. All sorts of units represented. HRH was doing the walkpast for a chat with the lads. Various brass and razzman following. There were Sigs, Medics etc.
I didn’t hear it directly, as I was a few rows back, but knew something had happened as I heard that stifled chuckling that you sometimes get on parade.
My mate was standing beside Al when HRH stopped and asked him “And you’re in ?”
Apparently Al looked at himself very slowly and said “No 2 dress sir”.
My mate said it took more self-control that day than at any time in his life.
Have put another posting on a companion website about a cinema incident involving Al but that’s not for here.
Dave
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Laughter on Parade
Re: Laughter on Parade
'Course it is!dave1234 wrote:Have put another posting on a companion website about a cinema incident involving Al but that’s not for here.
Great posts Dave, nowhere near enough dits posted any more. Still chuckle at some of the old posts on here. 
ABEX Germany. Onto some sort of tank training area with loads of sand. Think it was Sennelager [ ? ]. Some German lads were with us. Al was given the Charlie G as he carried it around like a toy. Good jump, but getting off that DZ through that sand was a nightmare. It was like walking through treacle. Everyone was already tired from previous manoeuvres. Get to the RV and find a shambles. Some of the vehicles have broken down and there is German kit mixed in with our kit etc etc. They decide to move some of the chutes and some of the containers onto one vehicle, then one group of us and some Germans will move out in another vehicle etc etc. Three in the morning and nobody knows what the hell to do, far less the Germans. The Germans spoke pretty good English, but they had no idea of what was being asked of them. In frustration, a occifer sticks his head in the back of our vehicle and says “Does anyone speak German ?”
Silence, then Big Al pipes up “Aye sir, I do”.
We were all knackered but this really woke us up. Who knew ? Al debuses and goes over to the four-tonner where most of the Germans are. We’ve all got our heads poking out the tail flap.
In a loud voice, Al said
“Shoo vill take zese containers und zese vepons from zis truck to zat vun over zere”.
Well, there was a moment of silence and then we all erupted.
It took a long time to convince a very irate colour man that that was just Al.
Dave
Silence, then Big Al pipes up “Aye sir, I do”.
We were all knackered but this really woke us up. Who knew ? Al debuses and goes over to the four-tonner where most of the Germans are. We’ve all got our heads poking out the tail flap.
In a loud voice, Al said
“Shoo vill take zese containers und zese vepons from zis truck to zat vun over zere”.
Well, there was a moment of silence and then we all erupted.
It took a long time to convince a very irate colour man that that was just Al.
Dave
dave1234 wrote:ABEX Germany. Onto some sort of tank training area with loads of sand. Think it was Sennelager [ ? ]. Some German lads were with us. Al was given the Charlie G as he carried it around like a toy. Good jump, but getting off that DZ through that sand was a nightmare. It was like walking through treacle. Everyone was already tired from previous manoeuvres. Get to the RV and find a shambles. Some of the vehicles have broken down and there is German kit mixed in with our kit etc etc. They decide to move some of the chutes and some of the containers onto one vehicle, then one group of us and some Germans will move out in another vehicle etc etc. Three in the morning and nobody knows what the hell to do, far less the Germans. The Germans spoke pretty good English, but they had no idea of what was being asked of them. In frustration, a occifer sticks his head in the back of our vehicle and says “Does anyone speak German ?”
Silence, then Big Al pipes up “Aye sir, I do”.
We were all knackered but this really woke us up. Who knew ? Al debuses and goes over to the four-tonner where most of the Germans are. We’ve all got our heads poking out the tail flap.
In a loud voice, Al said
“Shoo vill take zese containers und zese vepons from zis truck to zat vun over zere”.
Well, there was a moment of silence and then we all erupted.
It took a long time to convince a very irate colour man that that was just Al.
Dave
Did the Germans take it well? They just looked stunned.
Mind you some of the stuff at an ENDEX smoker later on did NOT go down well. The sight of the Anti-Tanks goosestepping along the top of the bar with home-made swastikas and singing 1940's battle songs did not go down so good with our NATO allies. A German Navy battle flag [ at least sixteen foot long ] had been "liberated" on a visit to the Naval Museum at Keil years before and was produced and marched in with a full colour party. The Gerries, who'd been upset up to this point went bonkers when this happened. The lads also had a tape recorder which was playing "Deutschland, deutschland, uber alles...." intermixed with very loud speeches from a gentleman who had been a bit of a naughty boy and caused four years of mayhem in europe.
Can't say too much here in case I put myself in a hole, as there as aspects of that night where the guilty were never punished, but after the snowdrops cleared out the bar, everyone retired to the RAF billets for the night. A major battle broke out involving entrenching tools. After schnapps, lager and 151 proof rum, tempers were running high and in-unit fighting broke out after the UK- Gerry fighting ran it’s course. RAF police sent in two alsatian dogs and closed the door. Big mistake. Loads of biting and screams then the tables were turned quickly. Have to be careful as RSPCA types will dive in, but let's just say that the "biters" became the "bitees". I've never seen the look of shock on a dog's face like that before. Shouts of "Hold that b!@$$%^d down ... he bit me bloody ankle ... here ....try this you c @#t ..." were heard several times. I could write a book about that night. Certain acts have never come to light, so I have to stop here.
Next morning on parade it was like something from Vietnam. Bandages and walking wounded everywhere. Bobby M**** the OC came down the ranks and let everyone know what the barracks damages were. There were quite a few gasps, as it sounded like the national debt. Big Al had a massive cut where a Gerry had hit him on the head with a schnapps bottle. My mate told me Bobby whispered into Al’s ear “You’d better change your appearance my lad “, meaning to mind what he did. Al appeared next morning on parade with his tache shaved off.
Dave
Mind you some of the stuff at an ENDEX smoker later on did NOT go down well. The sight of the Anti-Tanks goosestepping along the top of the bar with home-made swastikas and singing 1940's battle songs did not go down so good with our NATO allies. A German Navy battle flag [ at least sixteen foot long ] had been "liberated" on a visit to the Naval Museum at Keil years before and was produced and marched in with a full colour party. The Gerries, who'd been upset up to this point went bonkers when this happened. The lads also had a tape recorder which was playing "Deutschland, deutschland, uber alles...." intermixed with very loud speeches from a gentleman who had been a bit of a naughty boy and caused four years of mayhem in europe.
Can't say too much here in case I put myself in a hole, as there as aspects of that night where the guilty were never punished, but after the snowdrops cleared out the bar, everyone retired to the RAF billets for the night. A major battle broke out involving entrenching tools. After schnapps, lager and 151 proof rum, tempers were running high and in-unit fighting broke out after the UK- Gerry fighting ran it’s course. RAF police sent in two alsatian dogs and closed the door. Big mistake. Loads of biting and screams then the tables were turned quickly. Have to be careful as RSPCA types will dive in, but let's just say that the "biters" became the "bitees". I've never seen the look of shock on a dog's face like that before. Shouts of "Hold that b!@$$%^d down ... he bit me bloody ankle ... here ....try this you c @#t ..." were heard several times. I could write a book about that night. Certain acts have never come to light, so I have to stop here.
Next morning on parade it was like something from Vietnam. Bandages and walking wounded everywhere. Bobby M**** the OC came down the ranks and let everyone know what the barracks damages were. There were quite a few gasps, as it sounded like the national debt. Big Al had a massive cut where a Gerry had hit him on the head with a schnapps bottle. My mate told me Bobby whispered into Al’s ear “You’d better change your appearance my lad “, meaning to mind what he did. Al appeared next morning on parade with his tache shaved off.
Dave
41 Cdo Malta 1976, after weeks of drilling and generally being faffed about for the big Parade, our final dress rehearsal for the disbanding of the Unit was held on the hottest day of the year in full Blues! Not a lot of happy bunnies.
Lord Louis would be there on the day so you can imagine how many hours were spent on the parade ground! All stood to attention at Present Arms ready to recieve "The Guest" when on walks Capt Rod Bell with a papier mache pith helmet which must have taken weeks to make, this thing reached all the way from the top of his head all the way to his knees. The whole of the Unit erupted, even the Hierachy (Probably in the know).
My ribs still hurt thinking about it...
Lord Louis would be there on the day so you can imagine how many hours were spent on the parade ground! All stood to attention at Present Arms ready to recieve "The Guest" when on walks Capt Rod Bell with a papier mache pith helmet which must have taken weeks to make, this thing reached all the way from the top of his head all the way to his knees. The whole of the Unit erupted, even the Hierachy (Probably in the know).
My ribs still hurt thinking about it...
Small world !!
At one time Kinloch had the highest percentage/per head of population [ "population" wasn't that big by the way !!] of lads joining the forces, especially the booties.
If you see him again, tell him I said hello [ tell him my dad ran the "Antler Bar" in Kinloch - he'll know who I am ].
I think everyone from there passed CTC or P-Company first time due to all the hill walking that was done from an early age.
Malta's a great place. Blue Grotto, Valetta Harbour ..... nice seafood.... you must miss it a lot.
Cheers
Dave
At one time Kinloch had the highest percentage/per head of population [ "population" wasn't that big by the way !!] of lads joining the forces, especially the booties.
If you see him again, tell him I said hello [ tell him my dad ran the "Antler Bar" in Kinloch - he'll know who I am ].
I think everyone from there passed CTC or P-Company first time due to all the hill walking that was done from an early age.
Malta's a great place. Blue Grotto, Valetta Harbour ..... nice seafood.... you must miss it a lot.
Cheers
Dave
