The mystery of Rob Parrys loft

[owdun]

Sorry if I dropped you two in it(I lie)but the truth has to be told,as the Blair Witch said.You both make outrageous statements about innocent people,as did the Daily Mail about the Blair Witch,and expect to get off scot free,(where did that stupid saying come from)?,but some of us stand for democracy and the freedom of the people and go away you bastards and take your white jackets with you,I aint mad,honest!!!


Aye Owdun.

[El Prez]

Don't dribble on the jackets Owdun, looks like they've been tie-dyed. What a big cue you've got! :crazyeyes:

The Leatherneck site has an interesting set of questions when you subscribe: eg.
Favourite food?.............Curry
Favourite colour (color)?............Curry

I didn't see anything wrong in my replies.

[El Prez]

I was on my way to the newsagent s'mornin' and happened to see a fine fit bit of totty drop a card as she exited the public phone box. Before I could hand it to her she had climbed into her STV (Smart Transit Van) and disappeared. The card is fascinating. Apparently she is offering 'Life Style Courses' and 'Feng Shui' instruction. Well I've found out a bit from a few of my more ambulatory customers and so I've decided to take a few days out, up country, to study this 'Feng Shui' business. Apparently it's pronounced Fung Shway; and relates to how things are positioned in your home/workplace/body to ensure your wellbeing and financial position.
Well you know me, I reckon with a quick course in hanging crystals and moving things to their optimum position I'll be able to offer the West Country's first Feng Shui Gynaecological Service! Just imagine, having your parts tightened, angled or moved to a prime position; a strategically placed piece of quartz dangled from your nether regions on 20lb monofilament, and a famous Chinese proverb tattoed on your arse, all at the same time. Of course I'll have to repaint the garage/surgery, but Mangle has gone off the blood stains and hessian look.
What prospects, what remuneration beckons.
The burning of joss sticks is obligatory, rolling your own joints compulsory; and being off your trolley is a mistake in A&E because you'll lose your turn.

Off up the A303 tomorrer, anybody hurling rocks at Nurses ageing Volvo will receive the customary greeting from her "Getterfayabassa". I'll be travelling incognito, as a cool suave lecher of no fixed knee joint, casually disregarding the danger attached to passing public toilets without emptying the bladder. Sponge anybody?

[Artist]

In Rob's day they were shot down by 'Buckingham' rounds.

(First world year incedianery rounds were called that, Biggles rules)

Aye steve evans

[harry hackedoff]

My favorite Biggles story is,
"Biggles Fly`s Undone"
Always preferred Algy, meself. Not in that way, of course

Cheers, all.

Harry

[Artist]

Dear Mr Hackoff

We are very sad buggers ain't we?

Dear Rob

Will send you back the CD.

Cloned it and it was f**king great to see their faces. (am now banned from putting on any more CD.s! Life is f**cking good)

I made a point.

Who cares, Who wins who loses.

Aye steve evans

[Artist]

Put the bugger on the wrong thread.

Pse look at the LOFT thread.

Aye steve evans

[Artist]

I just wonder how santa got on when landing on the roof of the 'Parry'.

Did he avoid the chimney owing to the proximity of the LOFT?

Did he make it past 'Fluffy'?

Did he make it past Nurse?

Did Rob get his 'Neddyseagoons book of intresting Gynaecology for the gifted amateur'?

But most importantly, did he get away? Because we have not seen him.

Just wondered.

Aye steve evans

[John_D]

Steve
Rumour has it ,that at 3am xmas morning,shouting could be heard
from Truro Gen Hospital grounds, It was found to be our rob shouting
"Get back here you fat B----d you.ve not left me any thing"
He was last seen running down Truro High street with nursie running after him.

Aye

Jojn_D

[El Prez]

Ah such fond memories, Royal Cornwall Hospital, Treliske, for such is the name of the Hospital, has a special parking area for heliocopeters outside A&E, when empty I park there as it brings back memories...........I wish it'd bring back my motor. Some dipstick towed it away for being illegally parked, borrocks.
I spent the early part of this morning in the maternity wing discussing paternity suits; mine is a fetching dark blue with a faint pin-stripe. My cards offering pussy tightening and reshaping were snatched (excuse the pun) up rapidly and hidden away in various Moses baskets; it appears the diary will be full in no time, I just hope the staff share their information with the patients! On the subject of patients, don't these girlies make such a fuss, kicking and screaming, just to eject a small purple bundle. I wish I'd saved my toga for the New Year fancy dress party.
Talking of parties.......Nurse has decorated the surgery, Mangle is on day release, and Herr Gass the new anaesthetist has remained here to perfect his mix of nitrous oxide and helium. It doesn't help the patients but Nursies Volvo goes like weasel shit. All the tools are in cold storage in the freezer, I believe it gives our patients eyes a certain shine when they are first welded to a speculum that has reached terminal temperature. My favourite part of the job is gently blowing on the two surfaces to separate them. Must dash, the sprouts have been simmering since August and may just be ready.

[Artist]

Just a thought, but, Does 'El Prez' have a cellar?

I could just imagine saying to his luckless patients 'Do yer want to see me catacombs? nudge, nudge.

Aye steve evans

[El Prez]

All will be relieved my boating fiend in due course, suffice to say that power supplies at Chybacca are inadequate, we must have more wind power. I will be linking 50 puppies in order to harness the energy emitted from their bodies. The presidential ozone layer has been dented by the present incumbent, or incontinent.

[Artist]

El Prez;

Your quite mad arn't you?

Just keep taking the tablets (the really, really. really, strong ones that make you nearly? normal.

Iv'e just set fire to the canal, all it took was some Plutoian wax-n-Martian spit!!!! He, he ,he, weeeeeee!!!

aye steve evans

[El Prez]

Lads, hurrah, Mangle is due for day release on the Monday following the Anglesey convention. Nurse has managed to get the stains off all the robes and dressings using some very strange concoctions, but they work, there’s not much material left, at least the stains have gone.
The new advertising campaign is working. We have had tentative approaches from a few of the village ladies, keen to have some of my plastic surgery on their nether genitalia. With the return of Mangle, my trusty assistant and factotum, I have decided to go for broke and offer gynaecological refreshers and face lifts at the same time. It saves on string and anaesthetic. Basically we have stopped using anaesthetic as Herr Gas has returned to his beloved Bavaria for the pig shooting season, they have such ugly women, most of the action takes place on the high strasse.
The face lift and pussy tightening is the brainchild of Mad Marge, our reflexologist. She maintains that having a thread linked from arse to chin works for Alex Ferguson so should be a certain winner with the ladies. An adjustable slide at the throat, cunningly designed to look like a bolt, enables chins or arse to be adjusted to suit the occasion. The latest version may be electronically controlled from your own mobile phone. Imagine the anticipation as you narrow everything over the handset, then hear the battery low warning!
The new stirrups have been performing to expectations. Patients, or should I say clients, have been elevated, rotated and debilitated in equal measure. There was a strange chap here last week just after the installation asking if he might rent the premises for his friends to enjoy an evening of Ess and Emm. Which I gather is a Latin American Salsa Band. Why they would want to dance in sterile, sound proof surroundings is beyond me. I hope the security video shows some slick manoeuvres.
Finally, I managed to complete the new changing facility today. The one way mirror may prove to be our best investment. Several close, trustworthy compadres have booked the rear viewing area which I prefer to describe as the lecture room. Nurse retorts that should be lecher room, but what does she know?
Ho Hum, off to scrub up and don my lap dancing gear, got to keep the money coming in somehow.

[Mike]

Nice to hear that you are back in business again...Prez. Can I assume that the mobile surgery will be towed behind the Bren carrier en route to Anglesey and that you will be requiring a pitch in the centre of Rhosneigr to set up surgery, I have, in mind, just the place for you, between Hugh the Fish and Dewi the Boot and opposite the local Bag Off parlour, Oh yes we have one of those, Megan Square Mams (Tits) is the Matron with Elsbeth, Mavanwy, Delyth and Bornwen, her sweet little helpers.
Come to think about it they may be your first clients, I shall mention your speciality's when next I see them, I feel sure that the reflexology assignments will be a godsend to them, would it help to stop them talking with their mouths full?
I look forward to you triumphant arrival with trepidation
Aye