that joke was unbelievably unfunny it was so not funny i dont think i even bothered to read the thing at the moment im being a big hypocrite because i have no jokes but be warned when i come up with one itll be so naff it will probably make you cry...right off to find a crappy joke
me
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a little joke
right got one
carlos calls his boss this morning:
"ey,boss i cannot come to work today. I really sick, i got headache, stomache ache, my legs hurt i not come to work."
the boss says:
"you know carlos i realy need you today. When i feel like this i go to my wife and tell her to give me a blowwjob. That makes me feel better then i can go to work. You should try that"
2 hours later carlos calls
" boss i did what you said and i feel great, ill be at work soon.
and by the way, you got a realy nice house"
good luck to everyone and anyone even those gits who really dont deserve it
carlos calls his boss this morning:
"ey,boss i cannot come to work today. I really sick, i got headache, stomache ache, my legs hurt i not come to work."
the boss says:
"you know carlos i realy need you today. When i feel like this i go to my wife and tell her to give me a blowwjob. That makes me feel better then i can go to work. You should try that"
2 hours later carlos calls
" boss i did what you said and i feel great, ill be at work soon.
and by the way, you got a realy nice house"
good luck to everyone and anyone even those gits who really dont deserve it
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themattmeister
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- Joined: Mon 21 Mar, 2005 11:19 am
- Location: Bristol, U.K
I like that joke. However I don't think things would be quite the same without Stinky's obscure input, obviously if there were two of them this would become a problem as this sought of behavior should definately not be encouraged.whats annoying and was born in the same year as me?
Stinky!
Over ythe past few weeks I've come to think of Stinky as the little brother I never wanted.
Anyway here's my joke, I'll edit it if it is deemed too rude.
A man goes to the doctor with a massively stretched and damaged rear end. "Doctor please help I have been shagged by an elephant" the man explains. When examining the man's anal trauma the doctor reveals that although elephants are the worlds largest land living animals it is reputed that they have very slender penises, to which the man replies "yes I know but the fooker fingered me first."
Ok - On the theme of elephants...
This man is in a terrible car crash and spends several months in hospital recovering. His penis was horrible mutilated in the crash and is totally dysfunctional, the doctors have been telling him he'll never have sex again....
A few days before he is due to be released however, his surgeon comes to him and tells him about a brand new procedure, untested so far.
"It requires us to place some of the muscle and tissue out of the trunk of an elephant into your penis" The doctor explains...
"Well I dont see I have any choice, lets do it" sighs the man...
A month later and the man is out of hospital and feeling happy. He's survived an accident, got the use of his willy back and his first dinner date since the operation is all lined up for tonight!
That evening on the date, as they settle down and wait for the bread rolls to arrive the man is feeling rather constricted my his trousers (his penis having grown several inches thanks to the opertion) so he decides to just undo his top trouser button and unzip them... feeling much more relaxed and comfortable the man settles into the date.. The bread rolls arrive and the waiter places them on the table... Suddenly the man gets a funny feeling, his penis flops up onto the table with a slap, slides around a bit...graps a bread roll and then dissapears below the table again.
"WOW!!" Exclaims the mans date "That was absolutely amazing... can you do it again??"
"I'd love to" says the man "but I dont think I can fit another roll up my arse..."
This man is in a terrible car crash and spends several months in hospital recovering. His penis was horrible mutilated in the crash and is totally dysfunctional, the doctors have been telling him he'll never have sex again....
A few days before he is due to be released however, his surgeon comes to him and tells him about a brand new procedure, untested so far."It requires us to place some of the muscle and tissue out of the trunk of an elephant into your penis" The doctor explains...
"Well I dont see I have any choice, lets do it" sighs the man...
A month later and the man is out of hospital and feeling happy. He's survived an accident, got the use of his willy back and his first dinner date since the operation is all lined up for tonight!
That evening on the date, as they settle down and wait for the bread rolls to arrive the man is feeling rather constricted my his trousers (his penis having grown several inches thanks to the opertion) so he decides to just undo his top trouser button and unzip them... feeling much more relaxed and comfortable the man settles into the date.. The bread rolls arrive and the waiter places them on the table... Suddenly the man gets a funny feeling, his penis flops up onto the table with a slap, slides around a bit...graps a bread roll and then dissapears below the table again.
"WOW!!" Exclaims the mans date "That was absolutely amazing... can you do it again??"
"I'd love to" says the man "but I dont think I can fit another roll up my arse..."
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Sweeny T
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- Posts: 49
- Joined: Thu 04 Aug, 2005 11:17 pm
- Location: Over the hills and far away...
For all us students.... 
Aunty Jane take note
It's not the fault of the student if he fails,
because the year ONLY has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know
Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot
and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left
141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health)
means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies
(chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social
animal)-means
15 days. days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days
left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival
(holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining
days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day
left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
Isn't that really reasonable?
Sweeny
Aunty Jane take note
It's not the fault of the student if he fails,
because the year ONLY has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know
Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot
and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left
141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health)
means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies
(chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social
animal)-means
15 days. days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days
left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival
(holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining
days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day
left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
Isn't that really reasonable?
Sweeny
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I don't like you, That was the best joke I could come up with at the time and thats all your gonna get.-
Wholley
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themattmeister
- Member
- Posts: 759
- Joined: Mon 21 Mar, 2005 11:19 am
- Location: Bristol, U.K
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Frank S.
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Wholley
- Guest
King_duck wrote:Well Mr Wholley if you want to lock it, lock it! Can't really see why though because compared to half the threads on here this one is funny and informative.
Good for you.
Hope your Funnily Informed.
You treat me as you would expect to be treated Or your Ofski,Your almost a Prick,Wanna try for Pratt?
