during the bank holiday weekend, i ventured down to the west midlands safari park at bewdley, near kidderminster. We arrived at approx 10:30, and joined the que, just like lemmings waiting to launch themselves over the cliff edge, (its just a rumour) we eventually got into the park, and crawled round the road inside, watching the animals mincing up to cars, waiting for their daily handout of free food. Talk about laugh, my sides were splitting, some of the cretins, ( the big white hunters) cringing when the emu, ostrich, deer, wilderbeast, camels, lama`s and just about anything else that fancied free scran, came over to their cars. Windows were wound up el rapido, kids who were hanging out of sunroofs and windows couldn`t get in and shut them quick enough. One family, who`s asian son was stood up, and trying to feed the animals through the sunroof, kept reeling back every time and ostrich came for the freeby food, and as the kid reeled back, all the food fell into the car, this provided great entertainment as the said ostrich tried in vain to get its neck into the car to retrieve the pellets of food. we eventually got to the gated enclosures, where the wild dogs, lions, and white lions lived, seperated by even more gates and electric fencing laid on the deck. Tigers were caged, and people qued to glimp them,Camels, lama`s wilderbeast and an assortment of different types of antelope/deer/buffalo minced around the park along with the six white rhino`s, (more of those later) further round we encounted the giraffes, bending right down to retrieve their meagre offerings. Watching the elephants, ( four of them) roaming their enclosure, one ventured up to the top of the hill, and decided it was time for a piss, the only way i can discribe this, is having seen the torrent of water deposited onto Boscastle, this elephant must have escaped that day, made its way up onto the moor, and unloaded its bladder there. eventually coming out of the safari enclosure, we made our way to fill our faces with scran, venturing round the park, we encountered the recently born, (25th may) white tiger cubs, there was also a newborn hippo,( i was going to put baby hippo, but do adults give birth to adult hippo`s?
) there were snakes, gators, spiders and all manner of bugs, and a guy from the discovery channel, (Mark O`Shea) was giving a lecture on snakes and their venom etc, very interesting. later that afternoon, we decided we would thin out, and make our way home, but on looking over to the safari enclosure, saw that it was virtually empty, and made the decision to go round again. we proceeded at a leisurely pace, and was reaching the end,( by this time all the animals were being rounded up, and put in their respective night enclosures) we got to the site where the giraffes were housed, and the six rhino`s were congregating in an unorderly fashion, two of them headbutting each other, and sword fighting with their horns. this is where the fun started, the rhino with its fat arse towards us, and about 40 feet away, was obviously the looser, and decided he didn`t want to go to bed on a loosing streak, this is when he turned about, head down, and started to trot towards the car.....MY CAR! wifey, and the girls in the back went into panick mode, as this farking great beast, (not the site administrator) decided we were its next opponent. i took my foot off the brake, and started to roll down the hill, the rhino came round the corner of the giraffe enclosure, and started to close on us, select 2nd gear, and take her up to 20~25 mph, big beast still closing, and head still down, a bit more throttle and take her up to 30 mph, big thing still coming, 35 mph, and about 100 yds later, the thing in the mirror has given up the ghost, and turned on his/her heels,and mincing back to his/her oppo`s, claiming victory over the metal man made object, more commonly known as, my car. Little does he/she know, that when i go back again, i`ll be in my articulated vehicle, and i`ll be dropping her down a gear, and going for ramming speed. all in all, a cracking day out, and a bit more excitement thrown in to boot.
Ex zoo keeper here. Animals are a great part and love of my life.
