Who Cares Who Dares?....We Always Win

[Mutley]

Miss Flossie Ovis
Woodbury Common
Devon


Dear Flossie,

You tart, what a yarn you spun me, after all these years I find out I wasn't the only one.

Next you'll be telling me you weren't a virgin, I bet all that bleating was just a sham, wasn't it.

What a knit I have been, and that Harry he is nothing more than a trichodectes.

Yours,

[Mutley]

Loz,

I have never understood what gives with this business of that 'time of the month', do you mean payday?

Mind you I remember a time in the showers in Gardermoen when a certain lass was helping to get rid of the dirty water, but she refused to drop the soap because it was 'that time of the month'.

[harry hackedoff]

Norge girls and showers,ahhhhhhh, what blissfull memories.

For me, lately,"that time of the month" doesn`t mean having the painters in.

It means Sample Night! See you in two minutes


Harry

[Mutley]

sample nights

Now you really have to be careful, As an (supposed) EUROPEAN, on the one hand I see that our beloved friends and allies, the Germans can ditch their babies, anonymously so they can be adopted, with the perfect tutonic guarantee that the biological parents will never be divulged.
Yet as a citizen of this septred isles, I note that getting rid of some dirty water into a glass jar, to earn some beer tokens; I now find that I might have some hairy arsed 25 year old scrote knock on my door, and call me daddy.
Equality and Justice for All!

[harry hackedoff]

Muts, whilst you may be one, yourself, I can`t imagine you fathering one

yours, Aye

Srotum incisus

[Mutley]

As I once had to explain to a couple of misdirected crabfats who were put under my wing for a while: "I was born a little bastard, and I'm much bigger now".

[Mutley]

I've had to come back to it this thread, as it has been giving me the mares for over a week now. No its not Loz's mention of sausages and sheep in the same message.

Its the thought of any woman (especially most I know) weilding a meat cleaver that does it for me, everytime.

Then I start getting images of when I went in for the snip: the nine bob note who minced in asking if I need a shave, whilst brandishing a cut-throat, and then later saying

I'll give you your pre-Op, its only a little prick

[Mutley]

Sorry for the tardy follow-up.

SITREP

Trying to touch feminine side for the last two and half weeks, but Premature Myopic Trauma now set in.

Port passed, so will look for a window when LADS army withdraws.

Most of residence now under total exclusion zone. Re-org'd in garage, OP established in garden playhouse

Rugrats resticted to de-militarized enclaves...

CURRENT ASSESSMENT

High state of tension is retaliation for Jubilee Weekend indulgences likely to continue whilst roundball-in-japan successes are celebrated. Brief respite forecast during Gosport weekend.

LOGREP

occasional humanitarian aid getting through via local offey.

Hide all letters from bank manager and credit card company; keep FooFoo, Fairy liquid and Ajax to hand.

Awaiting TrialRep on Mk IV combination - "leaves whole house smelling like an orange grove"

END