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Situation Vacant

General discussions on joining & training in the Royal Marines.
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El Prez
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Situation Vacant

Post by El Prez »

I was intrigued by this chap Bish of Cologne, he sounds a real mean bit of kit, just the sort to go out with for a brace of beers, prior to despatching a few oiks on the way home. Applications for the post of Presidential Executioner should arrive by email asap; I’m very keen on this! Pay rates will be similar, but in Euros. 8)
THE WAGES OF DEATH
In 1757 the Prince-Archbishop of Cologne became exasperated by the price of execution and torture. His High Executioner was already paid a handsome annual retainer (80 Reichsthaler, 20 Albus, 12 malder of grain, and 4 cords of wood) but costs and expenses were still inflated. Consequently, on January 16, 1757, a tariff of torture was published in Bonn delineating 55 payments for execution, torture and the associated equipment and expenses. Some of these payments included:
Description of punishment Price: Reichsthaler/Albus
Tearing apart and quartering by four horses 5/26
Quartering 4/0
Beheading and burning, everything included 5/26
Strangling and burning 4/0
Burning alive 4/0
For rope and for preflaring and igniting the stake 2/0
Breaking alive on the wheel 4/0
Beheading only 2/52
The necessary rope for this purpose, and for cloth to cover the face 1/0
Making a hole and disposing of the corpse 1/26
Cutting off a hand or several fingers and for beheading, all together 3/26
Beheading and sticking the head on a pole 3/26
Hanging 2/52
Cutting out the tongue ... and burning the mouth with a red-hot iron 5/0
Exiling a person from the city or country 0/52
Thrashing 0/52
Putting in the pillory 0/52
Putting the ladder to the gallows 2/0
— (regardless whether one or several are hanged on the same day)
Terrorising by showing the instruments of torture 1/0
The first degree of torture 1/26
Arranging and crushing the thumb for this degree 0/26
The second degree of torture 2/26
Daily food 1/26
Each help 0/39

Sounds like a party animal to me! :lol:
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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Post by exvmremf »

It's not just the cost of living going up. It would appear that most people couldn't even afford to die in those days.
The Bish sounds like a decent type, he could probably even tempt me into his church occasionally.
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Tommy Gun
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Post by Tommy Gun »

The perfect applicant is our Flo, just get her to cook for them and that would be the end, cheap but very very nasty. I would even supply the gravy to hide the burnt bits........Poor bloke. 0X
_________________________________________
Jed

PUSH DOWN WITH YOUR THUMBS & UP WITH YOUR ELBOWS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by flo »

Oh and he thinks he is safe just because he is on his seniors....Well let me tell you a story about a certain lecture he had to do on the Victoria Sponge Cake. His nibs went down town bought all the mixtures and a food processor?? Apron etc the total came to £29.00 that is nearly 15 sponges from a proper bakery! His nibs banned us all from the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! while he put his masterpiece in motion so he could say here is one i made earlier. Unfortunately for him he used plain flour instead of Self raising. The moment of truth arrived and he went boldly but proudly into the I'M A SCAMMER SPAMMER!!! to show off his masterpiece.. but things didnt go his way.........Yes he produce a burnt biscuit.....NEED I SAY MORE.
Gravy anybody :evil:
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El Prez
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Post by El Prez »

I still haven't seen that full length photo of our super hero yet. :lol:

D'you think he's had a card yet and been warned about his prospects!
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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Post by flo »

Ah El presidente,

Now a story about our little super hero could be quite easily forced from me at the anglesey weekend, depending on the amount of vodka that is consumed :drinking: But Jed, if you are down there at Lympstone reading this then remember that 4 x 4 that i wanted!!!!!!

Who said blackmail was a crime. :lol:
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Post by Sisyphus »

So THAT's where performance related pay all started. A pox on you Bish!
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Post by flo »

If thats what performance related pay is all about - then i am due a big rebate!!!! :lol: :wink:
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chunky from york
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Post by chunky from york »

You know Prez, you relly should get out more, The Prince-Archbishop of Cogne?????????
Chunky from York



I may not be the man I was, but I was
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El Prez
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Post by El Prez »

Chunks if you weren't so ruggsy I'd let Flo sort you out, as it is I'll have to rely on Loz, she doesn't mind who she flails. :lol:

My absolute favourite has to be
Cutting out the tongue ... and burning the mouth with a red-hot iron 5/0
Such style, I've tried it on Nurse, but she's still sobbing. :-?
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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