Hi all

[bakes0310]

My names Simon to my friends, you lot can call me Master just kidding call me god im on fire.
Im sure your all a friendly bunch, im not by the way so your going to hate me damn i cant stop today.

All kidding aside i hope that i can contribute to the forum and help and ask for help when needed cheers.

Im hoping to join the Coldstream Guards, so if theres anyone here in the guards let me know what you think of them. Cheers

[Rooper]

My names Simon to my friends, you lot can call me Master just kidding call me god im on fire.
Im sure your all a friendly bunch, im not by the way so your going to hate me damn i cant stop today.

All kidding aside i hope that i can contribute to the forum and help and ask for help when needed cheers.

Im hoping to join the Coldstream Guards, so if theres anyone here in the guards let me know what you think of them. Cheers

You've certainly got the right attitude for a guardsman - crack on!

[Kiwi1988]

To be called master ..............$120 per hour
To be called God ..................$250 per hour

To have your skinny little Pommie arse kicked by a Goddess of the South seas......................................Priceless.




Welcome to the forum

[Wholley]

Would that be US$ or OZ?
Or maybe EC?
Cheap at half the price.
Welcome aboard Simon.
As you were with the God thing.
We only have one,it's called Harry.

[Kiwi1988]

Would that be US$ or OZ?
Or maybe EC?
Cheap at half the price.

Aussie dollars mate, but in truth I would settle for 2000 Paso's and a packet of chips

[harry hackedoff]

I`m hoping to join the coldcream guards, you say?

Why? Are they coming apart


You need a very tall head, mate

[bakes0310]

I shall be watching you harry.
The Fox will be on the trot, and the goose will be on the gander. Thats all im gonna say friend.

[anglo-saxon]

You need a very tall head, mate

And one that breaths. They're all synthetic, these days. Must make the "Wooden Tops" go all mildewy.

Personally, I prefer a fox hat!

[harry hackedoff]

What the fox hat
I love you Ang, which one is you with HM the Q?
Did you trap?
Everyone else did, allegedly

[anglo-saxon]

Did you trap?

She's a bit mature for me, H. Although if she ordered, how could I refuse? OK, now I have a terrible visual! Thanks v. farkin much!

Seated, front row, on Liz's extreme right (the good looking one).

I had three rocks, my keys and a cell phone in my sprran to give it weight . The cell was on vibrate (SOP for sporrans - one of the few perks for an Anglo wearing Jock kit).

That just reminded me of when I forgot to turn the damned thing off once. The CO was giving the troops some less-than-welcome news and my cell phone rings. The tune was Monty Python's "Always Look on the bright side of Life". Those in earshot cracked up. I though I'd be in shyte, but actually scored a few ales out of it.