Compulsary Sex Education in School

[Artist]

Got this letter from our MK4's School stating that she has to attend Advanced Sex Education Classes.

When I was at School all this "Advanced" Sex Education was carried out behind the bikesheds along with smoking Players Number Six and Embassy.

I'm all for it in all honesty just so long as she don't bring home any "Homework" called Garth. This time last year she was "Daddys Ickle Treasure" Now............Lumps Un Bumbs have appeared, the Barbie Dolls have gone to "Help the Aged" The Bedroom walls are festooned with Halfnaked Pop singing Teen Idols, male only.

And we must at all times have our mobilephone to hand so's we can Text our Chums 24/7. And Isnt Dad so borrrrrring with his attitude about hanging around the bustop with the Gang.

Artist

[sneaky beaky]

I have to sympathise Steve.
I went through the same experience. It will all come out OK in the end - if you keep your nerve, your fingers crossed and hope that she keeps her legs crossed and listens to Dad, or probably better, Mum. My advice is to be midway between too harsh - and too soft. It's a very difficult path too tread. Once again - you have my sympathies. "Likkle Girls", do suddenly become BIG GROWN UP Girls.
Yours,
Sneaky

[El Prez]

Likkle Girls", do suddenly become BIG GROWN UP Girls.

How do you reckon that then?

Most Big grown up girls head for Bootneck.

[angie]

I wouldn't worry about it Artist.
It doesn't matter how much sex education she gets she will allways be your little girl.
Especially when she wants something.

[got1]

Artist,
I'm afraid it doesn't stop there. If you have granddaughters and they live close to you, or in my case with me,then it all starts all over again. So far so good

[Sticky Blue]

Mk2(F) is being a right cow at the moment. She won't make it to 14 at this rate.
Most of her friends are liars and thieves... no rose tinted glasses here and I know what she will, has been upto.
One more stepout of line and she gets it, BOTH barrels

[Artist]

I have been through it three times before but the MK4's always been the Sprogg! She's now 14 going on 30!!!!

The local Heat Seeking Ferrets are now taking an interest in her as in knocking on the door asking if shes coming out every few minutes.

One Obnoxious Silly Billy was sat/lying/lounging on the Artmobile whilst his Chum was at our door. I asked Silly Billy if he was on medication.

He replied; "WOT!? Err?........ NO"

Silly Billy was then informed that if I ever caught him near my Car again he....

Farking well would be!!!

I seem to be suffering from SAD at the Minute. As in Hacked Off and very anti-social. Roll on Summer and Canal Depth Testing! Bored, bored, bored. Dinna like this time O the year one little bit.

A word of warning: Don't go to Telford.......... Tis a Farking Dump!!!!

Such is life.

Artist

[Sticky Blue]

Wish I had time to be just lately!

Bored, bored, bored

I know exactly what you mean about them heat seekers Ste!

[Artist]

Trev

Been there cos it's there Oppo!
Back in Sunny Cheshire now.

Stix

Don't you just Love it when your Ikkle Daughter is the centre of attraction. NOT.

She'em said to me "Dad, their just Mates. Whats the Problem?" Now, just where can you buy a 2 million volt cattle prod? One of ems got a 50cc Ying! Ying! Motorbike. You can hear him from miles away. I reckon his leathers cost more than the chuffing bike. Roll on her 18th birthday is what I say.

They'll be out there tonight, as sure as eggs are eggs. One will draw the short straw and come knocking on the door whilst the rest of them lurk around the corner! I wonder if the Law would get a sad on Iffen I poured Boiling Oil from the front bedroom window? Must be worth a go hey?

Artist

[Sticky Blue]

No boiling oil here mate...

Knock, knock, knock
"WHAT?"
"Can I see number 2(F)?"
"NO, NOT FROM THERE AS SHE IS IN HER BEDROOM AND YOU WOULD NEED X-RAY EYES TO SEE HER... BYE" Close door

Knock, knock, knock
"WHAT?"
"Is number 2(F) there?"
"YES" Close door

Knock, knock, knock
"WHAT?"
"Can I talk to number 2(F)?"
"NO, YOU'LL HAVE TO SHOUT FROM THERE, JUST LIKE I AM DOING NOW" Close door

Ring, ring (Telephone)

"Hello"
"Is number 2(F) there?"
"I JUST TOLD YOU SHE IS IN HER ROOM WHEN I SAW YOU AT THE DOOR" hang up


You get the idea... Terror, works so much better than mental cruelty and it can take hours before I get bored of it!

[Wholley]

Ah! Happy Daze.
My eldest once ramped up with a thirty year old git of a waste of space.
She was eighteen at the time and I happened to be in the UK.
I had a talk with the aforementioned git in the Pub.
Relationship seemed to fall apart after that.
Not that I have any parental feelings of course
"Not With MY Little Girl You Don't You Tosser"Springs happily to mind.
I think that was the last bar fight I ever won,without biting of course.
Wholley.

[Artist]

Trev

Seen it, got the DVD. I'm better looking and aint dead!

Artist