Swamping

[sharky]

Heard on Radio 4 today prog that the home secretary was under attack for using the term 'swamping' when referring to schools taking a high number of ayslum seekers sprogs. Apparently the liberal elite have decreed this an offensive term as it was once used by Margaret Thatcher many years ago and he should have said something that was less emotive. Deluged was their suggestion.

I have known several delugers in my time. One (still serving) marine regularly deluged his pit, another was a famous wandering deluger, but the prize for the most outrageuos deluger of all must go to Martin Matthews (he won't mind me naming him, he was alwas quite proud of this achievement) who deluged into the pocket of a CPO Writer who had tried to teach us the intricacies of Naval Pay (and failed I might add).

I would like to advise Mr Blunkett that should he be required to give a speech in relation to say, disorder caused by drunken young men who may have just returned from a foreign land after serving their country he may wish to avoid such terms as shiters, gronk, bag off, gagging etc as they too may have been used by Mrs Thatcher in the past and he wouldn't want to upset too many other people at Milbank now would he.

[Shoulderholster]

At the moment I am watching BBC Question Time and the Swamping issue has "raised its ugly head".
Seems as though he used the word by "accident" (much the same as the act itself!!!) and if you use the swamping word it doesn't mean you are a racist.
So lads carry on swamping (as long as its your own pit).
Yours SH
(A victim of wondering swampers on several occasions).

[harry hackedoff]

Deliberate, or accidental?

Harry

[harry hackedoff]

Sharks and Shoulders


What I was particularly fond of was the ritual humiliation that is Mass Swamping. Whereby, some miscreant was spread-eagled and crucified using two mopps, and soaked by the concentated efforts of the mess. Great fun, though the smell was difficult to remove from my,er, your clothes. Apparently

aitch

[Shoulderholster]

Ever had that dream where you're in the heads having a swamp and wake up to find out you've swamped your own pit??.
Well thats quite normal,the scary bit is when you have the dream where you're swamping someone else's pit and wake up on the floor of the heads in WRNS quarters.
SH
(A lapsed Catholic!!).

[harry hackedoff]

must`ve cost you a fortune in matress fines, Swampy


Harry dry sheets

[Shoulderholster]

Always went to bed in an NBC suit and a Poncho so no problem there.
Trouble is the wife won't let me come to bed like that these days, say's it rustles to much and keeps her awake.
SH
PS I'm of to bed now work later on (now wheres that poncho?)

[harry hackedoff]

I believe something called "a Golden Shower" is quite popular these days, according to Mutley, that is.

sweet dreams


Harry

[Black Rat]

Best story I know is when we were on our MP2's at Poole for the driving phase, a certain individual who is now a Police Officer had an 'accident' in his pit! Fearing the worst, ie being kicked off this illustrious course someone suggests he unpicks the stitching on the matteress cover which he does and takes the nice white with green stripes and yellow stains cover home and washes and tumble dries it.

On our return after weekenders he goes to refit it.............only to find it had shrunk! So......out comes the pussers jack knife and 6" are trimmed off the bottom of the foam mattress and a bit off the side!

"Do you think anyone will notice?"

Luckily the TQ saw the funny side etc but still charged him for the pit.......even though "It was like it when I was issued it" routine was played!!!!

[Si Capon]

Good mate of mine who has only just gone outside, better not mention his name - Lives in Exmouth. Now works on Computers...
Anyway, we all went to Le Mans for the 24 Hr bike race...
Camp site
Minging
Back to FRV
Into tent
Into Slug
GRAND SLAM....DOH!!!

Wrong FRV
Wrong tent
Wrong sleeping bag

Imagine coming back to that???

[Rotary Booty]

I listened to the Blunket 'swamping' debate with total disbelief that this is where we've ended up. Yet another well used word from in the past, like 'gay', have become non-words because of a new meaning attached to them. I'd actually forgotten about our swamping!!
I joined 40 Commando in Malta with the new Provost Sergeant who was a huge guy with fists like hams. His knuckles were badly scarred from the teeth of a Navy PO he'd hit sometime in the past. We were put in transit accommodation in the Sgt's Mess the first night, and I turned in quite early. Jock came in in the wee small hours and I woke up as he 'swamped' in my locker for what seemed hours! I was so mad, literally, I leaped up and hit him at which point he fell back on his bed and went to sleep! In the morning he came over, and couldn't have been more apologetic for swamping my locker. I thought I had got away with it until he grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off the ground. 'However' he growled, 'don't EVER hit me again'!!

[sharky]

Excellent response. Suggest a 'top ten' of all time best swampers, My nomination goes to an Ex CSgt origionally from Brighton who home on leave swamped in his mothers drawers draw. Ten pounds to charity from the miscreant keeps his name out of harms way

[harry hackedoff]

Sharks,
I`ll give a twenty to Ratso if you do "out" him on here

yours, for the scandal,

Harry (self-confessed window- swamper) Hackedoff

[owdun]

Wardrobe man myself,Harry,her indoors not amused,though she did
manage a smile the night I fell through the same wardrobe door,and
broke a finger.
Yours.Owdun

[Mutley]

Owdun, reminds me of a grot locker swamper some years ago. I'll not identify him so that Geordie doesn't get embarrased. He had been number one suspect for quite awhile, but always denying it, even more outraged when own locker was done. Eventually caught climbing in locker - snap. Caught bang to rights - padlocked over. Next morning woke up and accused us each in turn of putting him in the locker and swamping on him. H Ward here we come!

Vivid memory of walking round strange room three times before finding door to heads, couldn't find light switch, and then couldn't open door when finished.
Climbing down a fourth story balcony of a Hotel on the maindrag overlooking the town centre at 0400 is only made worse when doing same buck naked, and not remembering either the name of the hotel, or your room number.................

Also, of leaping over a (low?) wall with an oppo. Somehow when landing on rocks about 6 feet below we managed to stay upright and achieve our aim. Only then did we notice that target we had used had been a canvas breaker, behind which was lying scran ready for a locals late night BBQ; from the waters edge the locals were just gathering up speed towards us.........

I must have had a sheltered life as, in the main, I seem to develop a uriniparous semi-conscious; which, whilst evaded 126 action, has frequently resulted in using recepticals unsuitable or insufficient for the nocurnal voiding of nitrogenous waste. i.e.
Why are empty wine bottle so small?
Who thought of making waste bins out of straw?
Why are a plastic drinks bottles so hard to hold when wet and warm?
Why are houshold plant-pots so small?
Why are sinks easier to find?
Why are balconies always silhouetted ?
Why are balconies always overlooked?
Why does the drainage for 'decorative' balconies always outflow next to the main door?
Why do I always forget that bonfire dying embers always hiss, stink and flare up just as the kids want to know what your doing!